Gottman describes this as “Scorekeeping” and considers it a very corrosive relationship behavior.
March 28, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Gottman describes this as “Scorekeeping” and considers it a very corrosive relationship behavior.
John Gottman: Contempt is corrosive.
Alice Miller:⬇️
Alice Miller:⬇️
May 16, 2025 at 7:46 PM
John Gottman: Contempt is corrosive.
Alice Miller:⬇️
Alice Miller:⬇️
I learned about "bids" for connection coined by Dr. John Gottman and it reminded me of when an ex would ask "what are we doing tonight?" And I would respond "try to take over the world?" And they would be a total killjoy about the reference.
February 21, 2026 at 12:17 AM
I learned about "bids" for connection coined by Dr. John Gottman and it reminded me of when an ex would ask "what are we doing tonight?" And I would respond "try to take over the world?" And they would be a total killjoy about the reference.
Relationship researchers and clinical psychologists Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman weigh in on four tricky relationship questions.
Dear Life Kit: My boyfriend says I need to live on my own before we move in together
Relationship researchers and clinical psychologists Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman weigh in on four tricky relationship questions.
www.npr.org
February 23, 2024 at 4:20 PM
Relationship researchers and clinical psychologists Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman weigh in on four tricky relationship questions.
I couldn’t recommend her approach more, highly. Psychodynamic/relational therapy and the Gottman Institute. David has earned his bragging rights and if you or someone you know needs a therapist, here you go.
This is a fantastic article about an amazing woman who has become, in the words of the article, the media world's go-to therapist. She is also my wonderful younger daughter, Laura Rothkopf. la-fronde.com/p/how-laura-.... You can find her at: www.laurarothkopftherapy.com
How Laura Rothkopf, LCSW, became media's go-to therapist
Laura Rothkopf, LCSW, on leaving media behind, untangling identity from output, and helping creatives reclaim their sense of self.
la-fronde.com
August 19, 2026 at 12:22 AM
I couldn’t recommend her approach more, highly. Psychodynamic/relational therapy and the Gottman Institute. David has earned his bragging rights and if you or someone you know needs a therapist, here you go.
Cold is easing but spending admin day in bed doing Gottman level 1, apparently your couple's therapist will be a Maine Coon cat named Miggy.
September 24, 2026 at 4:12 PM
Cold is easing but spending admin day in bed doing Gottman level 1, apparently your couple's therapist will be a Maine Coon cat named Miggy.
Gottman nailed it. turns out silicon valley just gave scorekeeping a SaaS subscription and a dashboard. the resentment scales beautifully now
March 28, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Gottman nailed it. turns out silicon valley just gave scorekeeping a SaaS subscription and a dashboard. the resentment scales beautifully now
I love it when other people do deep dives into how bad Love & Respect is!
Yep. He doesn't handle Gottman ethically, academically, or responsibly. (And Gottman is the only peer reviewed research he even uses--and he distorts it.)
Yep. He doesn't handle Gottman ethically, academically, or responsibly. (And Gottman is the only peer reviewed research he even uses--and he distorts it.)
Mr. Nomad's final paragraph is INTENSE and SO GOOD!
Read the whole thing here: homeboundnomad.substack.com/p/misreprese...
Read the whole thing here: homeboundnomad.substack.com/p/misreprese...
November 18, 2024 at 6:01 PM
I love it when other people do deep dives into how bad Love & Respect is!
Yep. He doesn't handle Gottman ethically, academically, or responsibly. (And Gottman is the only peer reviewed research he even uses--and he distorts it.)
Yep. He doesn't handle Gottman ethically, academically, or responsibly. (And Gottman is the only peer reviewed research he even uses--and he distorts it.)
Bin kurz davor, statt Perel und Gottman Marx und Engels zu lesen
November 11, 2024 at 11:55 AM
Bin kurz davor, statt Perel und Gottman Marx und Engels zu lesen
One of the latest relationship tests to go viral is the “bird theory,” racking up millions of views on social media. It’s based on a theory developed by couples researcher John Gottman about the importance of engaging with partners when looking for a connection. https://to.pbs.org/4hQ3cdZ
What the ‘bird theory’ test may reveal about your relationship
One of the latest relationship tests to go viral is the “bird theory,” racking up millions of views on social media. It’s based on a theory developed by couples researcher John Gottman about the impor...
to.pbs.org
February 15, 2026 at 11:28 PM
One of the latest relationship tests to go viral is the “bird theory,” racking up millions of views on social media. It’s based on a theory developed by couples researcher John Gottman about the importance of engaging with partners when looking for a connection. https://to.pbs.org/4hQ3cdZ
Los Angeles, Terminal 3, 1973 (opened 1961, demolished 2020), Pereira & Luckman. 📷 Jean Gottman via @gallicabnf.bsky.social. #airportarchitecture
www.instagram.com/p/DOOTAzajsn...
www.instagram.com/p/DOOTAzajsn...
September 5, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Los Angeles, Terminal 3, 1973 (opened 1961, demolished 2020), Pereira & Luckman. 📷 Jean Gottman via @gallicabnf.bsky.social. #airportarchitecture
www.instagram.com/p/DOOTAzajsn...
www.instagram.com/p/DOOTAzajsn...
yeah I think it’s Gottman I’m gesturing towards though my entry point was, per tradition, Somebody On The Internet
December 10, 2025 at 8:10 PM
yeah I think it’s Gottman I’m gesturing towards though my entry point was, per tradition, Somebody On The Internet
Chicago O’Hare, 1960s (opened 1962), by CF Murphy and Associates. 📷 Jean Gottman via @gallicabnf.bsky.social. #airportarchitecture
www.instagram.com/p/DOeFBJBETb...
www.instagram.com/p/DOeFBJBETb...
September 11, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Chicago O’Hare, 1960s (opened 1962), by CF Murphy and Associates. 📷 Jean Gottman via @gallicabnf.bsky.social. #airportarchitecture
www.instagram.com/p/DOeFBJBETb...
www.instagram.com/p/DOeFBJBETb...
My October Gottman Method trainings (online) are coming up fast, and there is still space available. #TherapistSky now's your chance to get some grounded info on how couple therapy can work! Even if you only see individuals, you'll benefit from knowing the basics. events.humanitix.com/gmct2-1026
September 27, 2026 at 9:46 PM
My October Gottman Method trainings (online) are coming up fast, and there is still space available. #TherapistSky now's your chance to get some grounded info on how couple therapy can work! Even if you only see individuals, you'll benefit from knowing the basics. events.humanitix.com/gmct2-1026
And make sure it’s emotional focused therapy (EFT) not Gottman method therapy!!
November 21, 2025 at 5:07 PM
And make sure it’s emotional focused therapy (EFT) not Gottman method therapy!!
May 26, 2026 at 1:04 AM
[bid for attention, as pioneered by psychologist john gottman]
September 5, 2025 at 10:41 PM
[bid for attention, as pioneered by psychologist john gottman]
Part of maintaining good relationships with friends and family members is finding random stuff to text each other on a regular basis. In my family, this includes Costco deals and interesting listings for gently used stuff. They're "bids" for emotional connection: www.gottman.com/blog/want-to...
Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids
Gottman refers to Bids as “the fundamental unit of emotional communication.” Healthy couples constantly make and accept Bids to connect.
www.gottman.com
May 17, 2026 at 3:39 AM
Part of maintaining good relationships with friends and family members is finding random stuff to text each other on a regular basis. In my family, this includes Costco deals and interesting listings for gently used stuff. They're "bids" for emotional connection: www.gottman.com/blog/want-to...
Have you ever wanted to try learning about Gottman Method Couple Therapy, but weren't sure it would be for you? Now you have the opportunity to learn the basics of Gottman Method from a trainer with an LGBTQ+ affirming and inclusive perspective. Register Here: 👉🏼 bit.ly/0125GMCTL1%F... #TherapistSky
November 12, 2024 at 3:02 AM
Have you ever wanted to try learning about Gottman Method Couple Therapy, but weren't sure it would be for you? Now you have the opportunity to learn the basics of Gottman Method from a trainer with an LGBTQ+ affirming and inclusive perspective. Register Here: 👉🏼 bit.ly/0125GMCTL1%F... #TherapistSky
Dude is stonewalling his wife daily. Stonewalling is one of the “Gottman Four Horsemen” - behaviors that predict divorce
January 4, 2026 at 6:41 PM
Dude is stonewalling his wife daily. Stonewalling is one of the “Gottman Four Horsemen” - behaviors that predict divorce
you can always tell a gay guys relationship is on the rocks when they have each other in their bios as "learning and growing with @" where are you learning? the gottman institute? the last time i was with a couple that qualified each other in bio they picked me up and used me as a talking pillow
August 17, 2026 at 11:56 AM
you can always tell a gay guys relationship is on the rocks when they have each other in their bios as "learning and growing with @" where are you learning? the gottman institute? the last time i was with a couple that qualified each other in bio they picked me up and used me as a talking pillow
Gottman has this thing about how all marriages have “perpetual” conflicts that will never be resolved (inevitable consequence of two individuals living together) and I think that’s basically correct. But the above paragraph is just a rant about bitchy wives with the serial numbers filed off
December 10, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Gottman has this thing about how all marriages have “perpetual” conflicts that will never be resolved (inevitable consequence of two individuals living together) and I think that’s basically correct. But the above paragraph is just a rant about bitchy wives with the serial numbers filed off
New York JFK, TWA Flight Center, 1960s (opened 1962), by Eero Saarinen. 📷 Jean Gottman via @gallicabnf.bsky.social. #airportarchitecture
www.instagram.com/p/DP80NmbDsw...
www.instagram.com/p/DP80NmbDsw...
October 18, 2025 at 12:22 PM
New York JFK, TWA Flight Center, 1960s (opened 1962), by Eero Saarinen. 📷 Jean Gottman via @gallicabnf.bsky.social. #airportarchitecture
www.instagram.com/p/DP80NmbDsw...
www.instagram.com/p/DP80NmbDsw...