#ConstitutionGone #NowYouSeeIt #HistoricOops #CongressDotWhoops #FoundingFears By: TheJestPress.com WASHINGTON D.C. — A curious thing happened Wednesday morning when thousands of amateur historians, law students, and lost 8th graders reported that Sections 9 and 10 of the U.S. Constitution had vanished without a trace from Congress.gov. Initial reactions ranged from “Huh? Did I hit refresh wrong?” to “I knew this would happen when they migrated to the cloud.”

#CulturalVandalism #HistoricOops #ThanksRussia #ArtAttack #KharkivChronicles By: TheJestPress.com MOSCOW—Renowned for its contributions to ballet, vodka, and unsolicited border adjustments, Russia has once again wowed the world, this time in the high-stakes competition of “How Many Cultural Heritage Sites Can You Accidentally-on-Purpose Damage?” According to a UN report absolutely not written by a guy named Sergei, Russia now leads the scoreboard with a staggering 1,528 “renovated” sites across Ukraine, including an impressive 336 in Kharkiv Oblast alone.