Yak Hopes They Never Stop Making Grass https://theonion.com/yak-hopes-they-never-stop-making-grass/
July 8, 2026 at 3:10 PM
Yak Hopes They Never Stop Making Grass https://theonion.com/yak-hopes-they-never-stop-making-grass/
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American pe...
theonion.com
February 24, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American pe...
theonion.com
March 14, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
Ohio Begins Executing Random People In Hopes They’re Criminals https://theonion.com/ohio-begins-executing-random-people-in-hopes-they-re-cr-1851218315/
October 13, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Ohio Begins Executing Random People In Hopes They’re Criminals https://theonion.com/ohio-begins-executing-random-people-in-hopes-they-re-cr-1851218315/
merry hopes you are having a good day
January 29, 2025 at 10:57 PM
merry hopes you are having a good day
Ellie says she hopes everyone has a great day😸👅
November 23, 2024 at 2:01 PM
Ellie says she hopes everyone has a great day😸👅
Nazi Hopes Elon Musk Antisemitism Apology As Disingenuous As It Seemed
theonion.com/nazi-ho...
theonion.com/nazi-ho...
February 7, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Nazi Hopes Elon Musk Antisemitism Apology As Disingenuous As It Seemed
theonion.com/nazi-ho...
theonion.com/nazi-ho...
Scottie Scheffler’s Masters Hopes Fade After Being Swallowed By Sandworm
April 11, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Scottie Scheffler’s Masters Hopes Fade After Being Swallowed By Sandworm
Hahahhahahahaha toy soldier really hopes you think the military academy is the military!
It ain’t lol
It ain’t lol
March 13, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Hahahhahahahaha toy soldier really hopes you think the military academy is the military!
It ain’t lol
It ain’t lol
One hopes!
Sometimes the most powerful stimulator for creativity is having a really lousy memory.
September 21, 2026 at 8:25 PM
One hopes!
Spent some much needed time last night in the land of hopes and dreams.
April 24, 2026 at 5:10 PM
Spent some much needed time last night in the land of hopes and dreams.
*stares in Adelita Grijalva*
December 3, 2025 at 3:15 PM
*stares in Adelita Grijalva*
Burgum is not this stupid. He just hopes enough Americans are.
BURGUM: When the sun goes down, solar produces zero electricity
HUFFMAN: I want to enter into the record this amazing new technology that apparently the secretary is unaware of -- it's a battery
HUFFMAN: I want to enter into the record this amazing new technology that apparently the secretary is unaware of -- it's a battery
May 13, 2026 at 3:49 PM
Burgum is not this stupid. He just hopes enough Americans are.
No one has high hopes. We have hopefully-if-we-do-this-democracy-will-have-a-faint-chance-being-restored hopes.
The possible Russian asset has been thawed out from her cryogenic sleep during midterms to help the GOP. Also, she can't even spell Kool-Aid properly.
September 26, 2026 at 5:13 PM
No one has high hopes. We have hopefully-if-we-do-this-democracy-will-have-a-faint-chance-being-restored hopes.
Bruce Springsteen kicks off his Land of Hopes & Dreams Tour in Minneapolis
03/31/26
03/31/26
April 1, 2026 at 12:11 PM
Bruce Springsteen kicks off his Land of Hopes & Dreams Tour in Minneapolis
03/31/26
03/31/26
Remy hopes this helps 🥺
January 22, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Remy hopes this helps 🥺
Hex Maniac hopes she's not scaring you
June 22, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Hex Maniac hopes she's not scaring you
New Roommate Hopes Five-Hour Fuckfest Didn't Keep You Up https://theonion.com/new-roommate-hopes-five-hour-fuckfest-didnt-keep-you-up-1819569823/
May 15, 2026 at 7:00 PM
New Roommate Hopes Five-Hour Fuckfest Didn't Keep You Up https://theonion.com/new-roommate-hopes-five-hour-fuckfest-didnt-keep-you-up-1819569823/
Uthor hopes this helps 😌
May 28, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Uthor hopes this helps 😌
Burt says he hopes you have a good week
January 6, 2025 at 5:35 AM
Burt says he hopes you have a good week
Man... I miss having hopes and dreams
March 29, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Man... I miss having hopes and dreams