Chinese Spy Running Out Of Excuses Not To Hang Out With JD Vance https://theonion.com/chinese-spy-running-out-of-excuses-not-to-hang-out-with-jd-vance/
November 12, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Chinese Spy Running Out Of Excuses Not To Hang Out With JD Vance https://theonion.com/chinese-spy-running-out-of-excuses-not-to-hang-out-with-jd-vance/
Get Schumer out of leadership positions.
November 14, 2026 at 4:35 PM
Get Schumer out of leadership positions.
Stephen Miller’s Forehead Vein Lunges Out To Catch Passing Bird
November 14, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Stephen Miller’s Forehead Vein Lunges Out To Catch Passing Bird
Turn out the lights
Breaking News: Representative Lauren Boebert, a hard-line conservative Republican, lost her bid for re-election in a conservative Colorado district, according to The Associated Press. nyti.ms/4eCj0km
November 14, 2026 at 3:56 AM
Turn out the lights
Everyone chill out Sean Duffy from The Real World Boston is gonna sort this all out momentarily.
November 13, 2026 at 9:25 PM
Everyone chill out Sean Duffy from The Real World Boston is gonna sort this all out momentarily.
Raven testing out some spells
November 14, 2026 at 9:42 PM
Raven testing out some spells
Chinese Spy Running Out Of Excuses Not To Hang Out With JD Vance
Chinese Spy Running Out Of Excuses Not To Hang Out With JD Vance
WASHINGTON—Saying he was grasping at straws in his efforts to avoid spending any more one-on-one time with the American vice president, Chinese spy Simon Li told reporters Monday he was running out of...
theonion.com
November 15, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Chinese Spy Running Out Of Excuses Not To Hang Out With JD Vance
The Far-Fetched pilot is OUT NOW!!!
November 13, 2026 at 6:00 PM
The Far-Fetched pilot is OUT NOW!!!
Can confirm. The lists Schumer is sending out are inaccurate.
I can independently confirm this. Team Schumer first said there would be no challenge. Then they said he’d get 40+ votes. Now they’re giving background quotes to press about senators who are totally for sure for him. This is all spin.
I can guarantee you, there will be Van Hollen news tomorrow.
I can guarantee you, there will be Van Hollen news tomorrow.
November 15, 2026 at 4:01 PM
Can confirm. The lists Schumer is sending out are inaccurate.
blue sky status just out here calling us out
November 14, 2026 at 1:02 AM
blue sky status just out here calling us out
Did we take their router out too?
Bessent: "We have them completely isolated. We have an airline quarantine, and my message has been if the Iranian regime loves their country, then, great. They're stuck there. They can't fly."
November 15, 2026 at 3:38 PM
Did we take their router out too?
Ugly inside and out.
November 15, 2026 at 4:54 PM
Ugly inside and out.
The race to grift out $50 billion before the ATM closes.
Cut them off our money. Scam.
Cut them off our money. Scam.
November 14, 2026 at 7:29 PM
The race to grift out $50 billion before the ATM closes.
Cut them off our money. Scam.
Cut them off our money. Scam.
holy crap -- knives are out for Lutnick over Nvidia
November 13, 2026 at 1:33 PM
holy crap -- knives are out for Lutnick over Nvidia
bring her out tony
November 14, 2026 at 12:47 PM
bring her out tony
Susie Wiles and Miriam Adelson are out hunting Dalmatians.
November 13, 2026 at 7:41 PM
Susie Wiles and Miriam Adelson are out hunting Dalmatians.
Nvidia’s Huang is out. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick should be next out the door.
November 12, 2026 at 1:58 PM
Nvidia’s Huang is out. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick should be next out the door.
HE WAS IN THIS SWEATSHIRT WHEN HE FOUND OUT HE OFFICIALLY WON
November 12, 2026 at 2:22 AM
HE WAS IN THIS SWEATSHIRT WHEN HE FOUND OUT HE OFFICIALLY WON
Liz sweatin' it out by @beaganbong.bsky.social
November 15, 2026 at 4:30 AM
Liz sweatin' it out by @beaganbong.bsky.social
it’s so messed up they took this scene out of the remake
November 15, 2026 at 12:30 PM
it’s so messed up they took this scene out of the remake
I mean, it took them 6 months to figure out how to clean a pool.
November 14, 2026 at 12:39 AM
I mean, it took them 6 months to figure out how to clean a pool.
"So one guy switched out one wire and took out all the planes?"
November 15, 2026 at 10:30 PM
"So one guy switched out one wire and took out all the planes?"
For a second I thought @dropout.tv put out an extra episode
November 15, 2026 at 3:04 PM
For a second I thought @dropout.tv put out an extra episode
Mexican baseball mascot breaking out the jockstrap
November 15, 2026 at 5:58 AM
Mexican baseball mascot breaking out the jockstrap
