Heavily Armed Self-Help Gurus Demand America Reopens Their Hearts
theonion.com/heavily...
theonion.com/heavily...
May 19, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Heavily Armed Self-Help Gurus Demand America Reopens Their Hearts
theonion.com/heavily...
theonion.com/heavily...
BREAKING:
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — New Mexico attorney general reopens investigation into allegations of illegal activity at Epstein's former Zorro Ranch.
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — New Mexico attorney general reopens investigation into allegations of illegal activity at Epstein's former Zorro Ranch.
February 19, 2026 at 9:45 PM
BREAKING:
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — New Mexico attorney general reopens investigation into allegations of illegal activity at Epstein's former Zorro Ranch.
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — New Mexico attorney general reopens investigation into allegations of illegal activity at Epstein's former Zorro Ranch.
*reopens notebook: “reflecting pool vandals” closes notebook*
September 24, 2026 at 3:08 AM
*reopens notebook: “reflecting pool vandals” closes notebook*
November 8th, 2028 - Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary official reopens.
Population: 2
Population: 2
May 6, 2025 at 12:43 AM
November 8th, 2028 - Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary official reopens.
Population: 2
Population: 2
Mike Johnson says he will not bring the House back in session until the government reopens
October 31, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Mike Johnson says he will not bring the House back in session until the government reopens
Proud to announce Bluesky has officially replaced twitter as my "closes app and immediately reopens it by accident" go-to 💪💪💪
October 26, 2024 at 12:34 PM
Proud to announce Bluesky has officially replaced twitter as my "closes app and immediately reopens it by accident" go-to 💪💪💪
Tango Gameworks office reopens with new website, logo, and hiring for unannounced action game tangogameworks.com
June 2, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Tango Gameworks office reopens with new website, logo, and hiring for unannounced action game tangogameworks.com
Terrorist Russia reopens Mariupol theatre, under Russian occupation, on a mass grave. As Russians dance on Ukrainian remains 😡
Truly sickening
Truly sickening
Russia Reopens Mariupol Theatre on a Mass Grave
The Russians dance on Ukrainian bones
open.substack.com
December 30, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Terrorist Russia reopens Mariupol theatre, under Russian occupation, on a mass grave. As Russians dance on Ukrainian remains 😡
Truly sickening
Truly sickening
Officially, Spain reopens its embassy in the Syrian capital, Damascus, after 13 years.
January 16, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Officially, Spain reopens its embassy in the Syrian capital, Damascus, after 13 years.
New Mexico reopens investigation of Epstein’s Zorro Ranch. #OpDeathEaters #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinCoverup
www.reuters.com/world/us/new...
www.reuters.com/world/us/new...
February 26, 2026 at 7:25 PM
New Mexico reopens investigation of Epstein’s Zorro Ranch. #OpDeathEaters #EpsteinFiles #EpsteinCoverup
www.reuters.com/world/us/new...
www.reuters.com/world/us/new...
Online shop reopens Feb 3rd 9pm EST 🕊️ 💕
karlovycross.bigcartel.com
karlovycross.bigcartel.com
February 3, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Online shop reopens Feb 3rd 9pm EST 🕊️ 💕
karlovycross.bigcartel.com
karlovycross.bigcartel.com
he's going to ask Vought to nuke SNAP even after the government reopens, isn't he
Trump claims that food stamps "puts the country in jeopardy. People that are able-bodied can do a job, they leave their job because they figure they can pick this up, it's easier."
November 11, 2025 at 1:08 AM
he's going to ask Vought to nuke SNAP even after the government reopens, isn't he
A section of California's scenic Pacific Coast Highway that has been closed since January's deadly Palisades Fire reopens in time for holiday weekend traffic, to mixed emotions and high hopes for Malibu businesses.
PCH reopens after fire closure, just in time for the holiday weekend
A section of California's scenic Pacific Coast Highway that has been closed since January's deadly Palisades Fire reopens in time for holiday weekend traffic, to mixed emotions and high hopes for Mali...
www.npr.org
May 25, 2025 at 3:19 PM
A section of California's scenic Pacific Coast Highway that has been closed since January's deadly Palisades Fire reopens in time for holiday weekend traffic, to mixed emotions and high hopes for Malibu businesses.
Jim Cramer suggests on CNBC that Trump could “bomb Tehran into the Stone Age” until Iran reopens the strait, citing U.S. bombings of North Vietnam in the 1970s. Carl Quintanilla points out to him that Hanoi won that war.
March 11, 2026 at 1:09 PM
Jim Cramer suggests on CNBC that Trump could “bomb Tehran into the Stone Age” until Iran reopens the strait, citing U.S. bombings of North Vietnam in the 1970s. Carl Quintanilla points out to him that Hanoi won that war.
The centuries-old Paris landmark Notre-Dame Cathedral reopens on Saturday evening, five-and-a-half years after a devastating fire destroyed its spire and roof and brought the entire Gothic masterpiece within minutes of collapsing. Follow our live coverage: reut.rs/4gfsRuY
Notre-Dame Live: Gothic Paris cathedral rises from the ashes
Notre-Dame de Paris reopens on Dec. 7, five years after a devastating fire.
reut.rs
December 7, 2024 at 5:04 PM
The centuries-old Paris landmark Notre-Dame Cathedral reopens on Saturday evening, five-and-a-half years after a devastating fire destroyed its spire and roof and brought the entire Gothic masterpiece within minutes of collapsing. Follow our live coverage: reut.rs/4gfsRuY
Imagine the headlines:
FARAGE BEATS BIN. INVESTIGATION REOPENS.
FARAGE BEATS BIN. INVESTIGATION REOPENS.
August 13, 2026 at 5:09 PM
Imagine the headlines:
FARAGE BEATS BIN. INVESTIGATION REOPENS.
FARAGE BEATS BIN. INVESTIGATION REOPENS.
Once the government reopens, precedent has already been set, if Speaker Mike Johnson refuses to swear in Adelita Grijalva, the newly elected representative from Arizona’s 7th District, someone else will. In Powell v. McCormack (1969), the
November 10, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Once the government reopens, precedent has already been set, if Speaker Mike Johnson refuses to swear in Adelita Grijalva, the newly elected representative from Arizona’s 7th District, someone else will. In Powell v. McCormack (1969), the
There is nothing “clean” about the Continuing Resolution that was passed tonight.
Sure, it reopens the government—but it does nothing to address the healthcare crisis that Republicans created.
(1/2)
Sure, it reopens the government—but it does nothing to address the healthcare crisis that Republicans created.
(1/2)
November 13, 2025 at 4:17 AM
There is nothing “clean” about the Continuing Resolution that was passed tonight.
Sure, it reopens the government—but it does nothing to address the healthcare crisis that Republicans created.
(1/2)
Sure, it reopens the government—but it does nothing to address the healthcare crisis that Republicans created.
(1/2)
unquestionably correct www.ft.com/content/bdd9...
Bill Gates accuses Elon Musk of ‘killing’ children with USAID cuts
Billionaire reopens feud with Tesla chief as he unveils plan to spend $200bn on philanthropy and close foundation in 2045
www.ft.com
May 8, 2025 at 12:37 PM
unquestionably correct www.ft.com/content/bdd9...
If the government reopens, the Republicans need to get to work on a new excuse not to release the #EpsteinFiles.
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 AM
If the government reopens, the Republicans need to get to work on a new excuse not to release the #EpsteinFiles.
Welp I better do that other thing
> closes bsky app
> immediately accidentally reopens it from muscle memory
Fuck
> closes bsky app
> immediately accidentally reopens it from muscle memory
Fuck
August 8, 2024 at 11:41 PM
Welp I better do that other thing
> closes bsky app
> immediately accidentally reopens it from muscle memory
Fuck
> closes bsky app
> immediately accidentally reopens it from muscle memory
Fuck
So maybe your mean case should be 'the strait reopens early in 2027' and then you have an optimistic case where the strait reopens in July and then an ultra-bull case where the strait opens at the end of the month.
Your bear case is that the strait reopens outside of your prediction time horizon.
Your bear case is that the strait reopens outside of your prediction time horizon.
May 1, 2026 at 5:25 PM
So maybe your mean case should be 'the strait reopens early in 2027' and then you have an optimistic case where the strait reopens in July and then an ultra-bull case where the strait opens at the end of the month.
Your bear case is that the strait reopens outside of your prediction time horizon.
Your bear case is that the strait reopens outside of your prediction time horizon.
NEW: Test Track reopens on July 22.
June 16, 2025 at 4:04 PM
NEW: Test Track reopens on July 22.
my online store reopens tonight at 5pm pacific! :D
March 20, 2026 at 4:33 PM
my online store reopens tonight at 5pm pacific! :D