Lee Dixon masturbates to the Screwfix catalogue
June 27, 2026 at 9:50 PM
Lee Dixon masturbates to the Screwfix catalogue
Screwfix has sprung 🏵
March 2, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Screwfix has sprung 🏵
Why can’t I replicate this rizz in real life x
January 3, 2026 at 8:22 PM
Why can’t I replicate this rizz in real life x
Turned up late, drank all the tea, buggered off to Screwfix to get a part
February 9, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Turned up late, drank all the tea, buggered off to Screwfix to get a part
I always thought rawl plugs were called wall plugs because, well they go into the wall. Screwfix corrected me at 50 years of age.
June 2, 2026 at 9:20 AM
I always thought rawl plugs were called wall plugs because, well they go into the wall. Screwfix corrected me at 50 years of age.
Screwfix, an app for a single shop that sells hardware and DIY goods, outranks Twitter in the UK App Store right now.
November 13, 2024 at 9:26 AM
Screwfix, an app for a single shop that sells hardware and DIY goods, outranks Twitter in the UK App Store right now.
Overheard in Screwfix: “well I asked ChatGPT…” Notable that the guy behind the counter setting out why, no, the suggested remedy would cause a fire didn’t even blink.
June 9, 2026 at 5:31 PM
Overheard in Screwfix: “well I asked ChatGPT…” Notable that the guy behind the counter setting out why, no, the suggested remedy would cause a fire didn’t even blink.
Your dad draws circles around what he wants for Christmas in the Screwfix catalogue
November 16, 2024 at 2:15 PM
Your dad draws circles around what he wants for Christmas in the Screwfix catalogue
Available at Screwfix
October 25, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Available at Screwfix
You can shut Screwfix out of respect, maybe.
April 20, 2025 at 6:52 AM
You can shut Screwfix out of respect, maybe.
Or as Jane Eyre used to call him…
February 13, 2026 at 8:25 PM
Or as Jane Eyre used to call him…
screwfix dot ie you have ideas above your station
June 16, 2026 at 3:12 PM
screwfix dot ie you have ideas above your station
April 18, 2026 at 6:57 PM
Off. To. Screwfix.
So that tells you how my day is going.
So that tells you how my day is going.
November 23, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Off. To. Screwfix.
So that tells you how my day is going.
So that tells you how my day is going.
For a company with the word "screw" in their name, Screwfix have a surprisingly limited selection of screws nowadays
December 23, 2025 at 2:55 PM
For a company with the word "screw" in their name, Screwfix have a surprisingly limited selection of screws nowadays
Good of Screwfix to provide these cargo bike + trailer spaces right outside their branch 👍
May 14, 2026 at 5:26 PM
Good of Screwfix to provide these cargo bike + trailer spaces right outside their branch 👍
Turns out that a sex tape isn't what I thought it was. Apologies to everyone at my local Screwfix (which also isn't what I thought it was).
November 10, 2024 at 12:27 PM
Turns out that a sex tape isn't what I thought it was. Apologies to everyone at my local Screwfix (which also isn't what I thought it was).
A reminder that the UK’s single sex spaces are officially:
- Screwfix
- BFI Space 1999 retrospective
- Waterstones Max Hastings signing queue
- Oasis VIP enclosure
- An Evening With Hannah Fry, King’s Place
- Crich Tramway Museum
- Hawksmoor steakhouses
- Screwfix
- BFI Space 1999 retrospective
- Waterstones Max Hastings signing queue
- Oasis VIP enclosure
- An Evening With Hannah Fry, King’s Place
- Crich Tramway Museum
- Hawksmoor steakhouses
August 9, 2025 at 2:57 PM
A reminder that the UK’s single sex spaces are officially:
- Screwfix
- BFI Space 1999 retrospective
- Waterstones Max Hastings signing queue
- Oasis VIP enclosure
- An Evening With Hannah Fry, King’s Place
- Crich Tramway Museum
- Hawksmoor steakhouses
- Screwfix
- BFI Space 1999 retrospective
- Waterstones Max Hastings signing queue
- Oasis VIP enclosure
- An Evening With Hannah Fry, King’s Place
- Crich Tramway Museum
- Hawksmoor steakhouses
I identify as Screwfix-sexual.
September 29, 2026 at 7:24 PM
I identify as Screwfix-sexual.
An illustrative vignette about Daddy Ben is that he bought so much stuff from Screwfix during lockdown that they made him open a trade account.
September 28, 2026 at 8:57 PM
An illustrative vignette about Daddy Ben is that he bought so much stuff from Screwfix during lockdown that they made him open a trade account.
I’m off to Screwfix… 😅
November 29, 2024 at 8:07 AM
I’m off to Screwfix… 😅
Just been to screwfix to mingle with the hi-vis lads
December 23, 2024 at 1:02 PM
Just been to screwfix to mingle with the hi-vis lads