New E-Toilet To Revolutionize Online Shitting https://theonion.com/new-e-toilet-to-revolutionize-online-shitting-1819565332/
September 12, 2025 at 9:00 PM
New E-Toilet To Revolutionize Online Shitting https://theonion.com/new-e-toilet-to-revolutionize-online-shitting-1819565332/
gaming communities are now open to shitting on the anti-woke gaming world, vibe shift incoming
March 31, 2025 at 6:28 PM
gaming communities are now open to shitting on the anti-woke gaming world, vibe shift incoming
Heaven Installs Spikes To Keep Cherubs From Shitting On St. Peter’s Gate
theonion.com/heaven-...
theonion.com/heaven-...
February 22, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Heaven Installs Spikes To Keep Cherubs From Shitting On St. Peter’s Gate
theonion.com/heaven-...
theonion.com/heaven-...
It. Is. Bezos. Shitting. On. The. Front. page. Of. His. Once. Great. Paper.
March 17, 2025 at 12:26 PM
It. Is. Bezos. Shitting. On. The. Front. page. Of. His. Once. Great. Paper.
Riley: Don’t tell me you give a shit about the middle class when all you are doing is shitting on the middle class
July 2, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Riley: Don’t tell me you give a shit about the middle class when all you are doing is shitting on the middle class
This guy discovered shitting
March 2, 2025 at 12:53 AM
This guy discovered shitting
You gotta be shitting me, Tyrese
June 6, 2025 at 3:05 AM
You gotta be shitting me, Tyrese
Entire family, 82 down to 17, eating Korean food and shitting on Trumpists
July 5, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Entire family, 82 down to 17, eating Korean food and shitting on Trumpists
Goose Does Pretty Decent Job Shitting All Over High School Track https://theonion.com/goose-does-pretty-decent-job-shitting-all-over-high-sch-1819579756/
August 25, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Goose Does Pretty Decent Job Shitting All Over High School Track https://theonion.com/goose-does-pretty-decent-job-shitting-all-over-high-sch-1819579756/
Taylor Farms is on sale at Whole Foods.
You’ve got to be shitting me.
You’ve got to be shitting me.
July 23, 2026 at 12:20 AM
Taylor Farms is on sale at Whole Foods.
You’ve got to be shitting me.
You’ve got to be shitting me.
Protip: If someone is enjoying a nice meal, let them do so without shitting all over it
March 22, 2026 at 5:03 PM
Protip: If someone is enjoying a nice meal, let them do so without shitting all over it
Oh it’s not appropriate for your program to air the president wearing a crown and shitting on American citizens?
You’ll talk about it in euphemisms? Maybe call it the “crown video” and ignore the shitting part? Because that’s appropriate?
Tell me, was it appropriate for the president to do it?
You’ll talk about it in euphemisms? Maybe call it the “crown video” and ignore the shitting part? Because that’s appropriate?
Tell me, was it appropriate for the president to do it?
October 19, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Oh it’s not appropriate for your program to air the president wearing a crown and shitting on American citizens?
You’ll talk about it in euphemisms? Maybe call it the “crown video” and ignore the shitting part? Because that’s appropriate?
Tell me, was it appropriate for the president to do it?
You’ll talk about it in euphemisms? Maybe call it the “crown video” and ignore the shitting part? Because that’s appropriate?
Tell me, was it appropriate for the president to do it?
FDA deregulation will manifest as a series of posts from people shitting their guts out with recalls that get closer and closer to where you live until you're the one shitting your guts out
August 31, 2026 at 5:39 PM
FDA deregulation will manifest as a series of posts from people shitting their guts out with recalls that get closer and closer to where you live until you're the one shitting your guts out
So Nick Fuentes should be shitting his pants right now?
September 15, 2025 at 5:44 PM
So Nick Fuentes should be shitting his pants right now?
Are you shitting me
July 7, 2026 at 8:34 PM
Are you shitting me
The guy falling asleep and shitting himself during press conferences says our country needs to shape up.
July 15, 2026 at 5:11 PM
The guy falling asleep and shitting himself during press conferences says our country needs to shape up.
Nixon screaming from Hell how is this motherfucker getting away with shitting on the constitution?
June 26, 2026 at 4:40 PM
Nixon screaming from Hell how is this motherfucker getting away with shitting on the constitution?
Head in hands wondering how this could happen to me, the popular president who posted a video of myself shitting on everyone 2 weeks ago
November 5, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Head in hands wondering how this could happen to me, the popular president who posted a video of myself shitting on everyone 2 weeks ago
He posted an AI video of himself shitting on Americans six days ago
Trump: "They cheated on a commercial. Ronald Reagan loved tariffs and they said he didn't. And I guess it was AI or something. They cheated badly. Canada got caught cheating on a commercial. Can you believe it?"
October 25, 2025 at 3:59 AM
He posted an AI video of himself shitting on Americans six days ago
are you shitting me right now
Governor of New York Kathy Hochul has held a therapy session with 175 corporate reps, CEOs to "calm the nerves of the NYC business elite" in wake of Brian Thompson killing; promising state assistance for corporate security to combat "domestic terrorism," per POLITICO.
December 16, 2024 at 9:10 PM
are you shitting me right now
woke is when you can eat salad without shitting your pants
woke is when stuff costs less
July 12, 2026 at 2:14 AM
woke is when you can eat salad without shitting your pants