LightNews — News, ranked by scholars

Angus Sawyer

@aardgoose.info

Visited it about 40 years ago on a church crawl from Easington where the priest gave us a tour of the tower and expressed a desire to stamp on pigeons because of the mess on the roof.

Also got a tour of the tithe barn full of chicks.

September 29, 2026 at 4:18 PM

Kritical Kez

@kriticalkez.bsky.social

This Magic the Fashioning is pretty special since it's my 50th! Smothering Tithe is a favorite of mine for my She Hulk Deck so it's cool I got to do a card I like. Thank you Dr.SillySeal for modeling! #magic #mtg #magicthegathering #fashiondesign #fashion

September 29, 2026 at 3:00 PM

Thought Punks 🎲 TTRPGs + Punk 👩‍🎤

@thoughtpunks.com

The splatter doesn't stop there! Splatter consequences are not uncommon on rolls. You're going to leave a bloody af scene everywhere.

Only ONE left for $222 spot. A choice of rewards from a full facilitated run of BLOOD.MONEY.GOSPEL for your channel or a half-page ad. ko-fi.com/s/88de8ae308

Reading Your Roll
Roll your pool. Read the single highest die.
6: Full Redemption. Clean-ish. Works just like you needed it to, but almost always in a weird or bloody way. Describe your moment.
5: Short of Heaven. It works, but it’s… messy. The Shepherd picks one Splatter Complication. This is the texture of operating inside an institution that, even before capturing the Christ, spent decades engineering to work against people like you. But deflected and twisted by the Luciferian influence ominously protecting you.
4: Between. You still wholly succeed, because Lucifer’s blessing still holds here. But the church’s countermeasures twist it around. Unavoidable Splatter Complication. The Shephard also adds reinforcements or a narrative complication as the Cathedral defends itself, unless the player sacrifices a Tithe or two Flesh.

3: Falling. You only partially succeed, as Lucifer’s gifts falter until the weight of the Cathedral’s Christ-blood fueled might. You gain some progress, but risking another roll is needed for your goal. In dangerous and risky situations, you may also suffer failure harms.
2: Through Hell. You fail, badly. And no failure is clean. The Shepherd describes how the situation gets worse before anyone can react. If violence is involved, you lose Flesh. One Flesh for standard hostility. Two or more for heavy weaponry and advanced defenses.
1: Complete Damnation. For just a moment, it seems like you might succeed. Because the Cathedral is domineering, deceptive, and cruel when it controls the situation. Describe how it all goes (hilariously) catastrophically wrong. The Shepherd picks a Splatter Complication, damages one or two more Flesh than going Through Hell (even where Flesh is not risked), and adds a new obstacle or blocked path or an immediate new severe complication.

Splatter Complications
The Shepherd picks one when you roll a 1, 4, or 5. Please note the name “Splatter”. All versions of these complications should fit within that category. Even what were non-violent actions. Lucifer, the Cathedral, and the universe all have a strange sense of humor.
• Coverage. You are now visibly, thoroughly saturated in something. The cameras have a clean shot of the… mess you are covered in. Escalation ticks one.
• Collateral. Something adjacent to your target is also affected. The Shepherd decides what. It becomes relevant.
• Inventory. You lose, break, expend, or involuntarily donate a piece of equipment or valuable find. The Shepherd decides which. You learn this when you reach for it.
• Audience. Someone is watching who should not be. They may not act now. But they will act. When you least expect.
• Mess. You have created a Zone hazard. Describe it. Make it something that requires several mops, a new route or navigation plan, and a deep pause.

The Money Is Always Dirty. When you follow a financial trail to something the church does not want found, fill one or more desirable clock segments, resolve a complication, or gain some other substantial benefit. Every system in this building connects to the money. The money connects to something ugly. Pull the thread.
The Sermon Goes Long. When a First Church authority figure starts monologuing (and they will, because they love the sound of their own conviction), a Tithe allows everyone to act freely until the authority is harmed or manhandled. No roll. The leadership cannot help themselves. They’ve aped righteousness so long they cannot stop, even when stopping would save them. Use that.
The Meek Are Neglected. The poor selected to “work off” their blessing, those with little to tithe, those forced into menial duties. These are the people most church members very willfully ignore. Their requests are ignored. Their prayers are ignored. Their distress is ignored. The church neither exp

September 29, 2026 at 2:01 PM

Thought Punks 🎲 TTRPGs + Punk 👩‍🎤

@thoughtpunks.com

The Wound is the first thing that character creation asks you to address. Doing this and fighting the megachurch isn't some abstract notion or higher ideal for you. It's deeply personal.

Preorder the book for a gift of $10.66+. ko-fi.com/s/6f6b2ea3e6

You get a burner phone, a compound dossier, keys to a storage unit with mostly useless random items but a few bits of (poorly maintained and fragile) equipment as well, and a laminated card that reads:
CALL IF YOU NEED SOMETHING UNETHICAL
BUT NOT EVIL
Your job:
• Get in.
• Free Jesus.
• Get Him out.
The Cathedral's job:
• Stop you with extreme prejudice.
• Post it to their forty-million-subscriber channel.

Your Wound
The First Church of the Perpetual Tithe, or something built on the same assumptions, did very specific wrongs to you or someone you love. Not abstract notions of harm. Not hypothetical possibilities. Detailed harm, lasting harm, real harm. The kind that lives in your chest, burrows in your bones, and does not leave.
Write one or two sentences. Describe what they did. This is more than the seed of a backstory in BLOOD.MONEY.GOSPEL. It is high potency fuel. This is a key to why Lucifer chose you out of countless others. This is why the Cathedral is going to have a very bad night.
• “They took my mother's savings and called it a seed offering. She died carrying the debt.”
• “My town's only hospital became a conference annex and the annex has a Starbucks.”
• “I believed. Actually believed. For seven years I gave everything I had, and now I know what it was worth to them, what I was worth to them.”

Writing Your Wound
“They took my mother’s savings and called it a seed offering. She died carrying the debt.” This fires because the mechanism is named (seed offering), the relationship is named (mother), the outcome is named (died in debt), and the institution’s framing is named (“seed offering”).
You can draw a line from that sentence to a hundred different moments inside the Cathedral. The offering system. The rhetoric about generosity. A staffer processing donations. Whenever the Wound is directly relevant to why the Sinner is doing what they’re doing right now, the line will be obvious. Not argued for. Obvious.
“I believed. Actually believed. For seven years I gave everything I had. But now? Now I know what it was worth to them. What I was worth to them.” This mentions the financial hooks but focuses on false performances and betrayal.

Its triggers are similarly clear. A believer defending the Pastor. An Anointed member who cannot hear the question you’re asking. The hollow sound of the Cathedral’s rhetoric when you’ve heard that pretend sincerity before and paid dearly for it. The Wound doesn’t require money. It requires a betrayal you can smell in the air.
Compare: “The church hurt my family.”
This holds no fire. There is no line to draw. There is no specific loss, no clear emotional hook. It is the vague shape of possible pains, rather than a Wound.
If a Sinner writes something like this, ask directly: What specifically did they do? Not what kind of thing. What thing in itself. If anyone is stuck, work with each other to help everyone develop their story.

September 29, 2026 at 2:01 PM

Thought Punks 🎲 TTRPGs + Punk 👩‍🎤

@thoughtpunks.com

Leaving the remaining spots open while I edit. If you wanted to support splattering a corrupt megachurch, rescuing Jesus for Lucifer, THIS is the last chance. Core rules already in supporter hands, next segment coming soon!

Read the thread, then get in on this NOW!: ko-fi.com/revcasey/shop

Black background, black and white + low color image of Jesus on the cross against a stone wall, money in the shape of the cross transparent overlaid on the crucified Jesus, blood red letters in an arc around and above it ("BLOOD.MONEY.GOSPEL"), white stamped letters in black area at bottom ("Written by Rev Casey" + "Published by Thought Punks")

The Gist
Jesus Christ came back. Of course He came back. He said He would. The problem is that He came back gentle and confused and asking questions about sparrows and rent prices.
Before He could get His bearings, Pastor Dominion Crale of the First Church of the Perpetual Tithe had Him zip-tied in an Escalade and driven to the compound in forty-seven minutes flat. That was eighteen months ago.
The main Cathedral now operates HIS PRECIOUS BLOOD™, a multi-level wellness sacrament pipeline moving vials of genuine messianic blood at a year’s Toronto/London/Paris professional’s salary per unit (Blessed Faithful Anointed Healing Moment™), the cost of a large luxurious home in Tokyo or NYC (Chosen Hosts Exclusive Miracles Package™), a tier only reachable by mega-millionaires and billionaires (The Perfected Saints Full Indulgence Membership™), and a newly launched Divine Disciples Triple Elite Plus Eternal Covenant™ option for the most wealthy that comes with a personal blessing, concierge,

They operate on artificial scarcity (above and beyond the limits of their gruesome extraction process). The First Church ensures that even the Eternal Covenant™ tier has a waiting list. Lower tier lottery winners can wait in line even through the night to receive their “blessings” on High Holy Days™. (Universal Love For All™ financing plans available.) The Vatican filed a complaint. It is in a drawer somewhere one guy has the keys to, and nobody’s seen him in a while. The SEC wrote a memo about drafting a proposal to explore a process to review the complaint. It’s in another drawer.
Jesus is in the Sanctum Sub-Basement, connected to the Eternal Harvest Array. He cannot die. He cannot leave. He has been patient about this. He waits, faithful, hoping, suffering. He waits for you.

You have been recruited by Lucifer. Yes, THAT Lucifer. (Please don’t call them “Satan” or “The Devil.” I would say if you value your life, but that is the least of what the Morningstar can take.)
Lucifer (pronouns variable and flexible, presentation business casual, stress beginning to show through the seams) sought you out personally. The pitch ran for almost two hours and included a PowerPoint with extensive citations.
The end of the pitch: “I know how this looks. I know you have questions. That’s too bad. It’s none of your business, really. What I need you to understand is this situation is more personally offensive to me than your little brain can grasp. I pursued every available channel for months. I am standing in this awful parking lot talking to you, exactly because there are no more channels. Please. You will be well-treated for your help. And I am asking nicely. I am… not good at asking nicely.”

September 29, 2026 at 2:01 PM

[TNC] Mischa

@mischa.thatsnotcedh.com

Smothering Tithe is a totally fair and balanced rule zero commander. Nothing to see here.

September 29, 2026 at 1:19 PM

Alex Ullman

@nerdtothecore.com

I just really want to run Smothering Tithe okay?

September 29, 2026 at 1:11 PM

Nuacht TG4

@nuachttg4.bsky.social

"Muna mbeidh muid in ann tithe a cheannach, a thógáil nó a fháil ar cíos, ní mhairfidh an Ghaeilge." - Áine Bairéad ag caint faoi chúrsaí tithíochta sa Ghaeltacht

An aontaíonn tú léi?

Tá Mo Thír Mo Thuairim ar fáil ar Seinnteoir TG4

September 29, 2026 at 11:56 AM

Del Jay

@shrecknet.com

Would you be more of a roving bandit in a spike-covered car? or pledge your fealty to Grimonicus the Skullrider and help collect the Bone Tithe?

September 29, 2026 at 8:07 AM

Random Jetship

@randomjetship.bsky.social

My solution? You take a job above HoD, you tithe. 10% salary sacrifice, into an interest bearing account. Half goes back to you when you return to your department for three years. Half goes to a scholarship fund for disadvantaged students. Healthy side effect of clearing out middle management bloat.

September 29, 2026 at 7:52 AM

Liz Fong-Jones (方禮真)

@lizthegrey.com

I'm resigned to the fact that for my profession, AI companies probably will take a tithe from its employees

September 29, 2026 at 7:33 AM

UK Roadworks Report

@uk-roadsworks-news.bsky.social

Roadworks report for #Windsor, Tue 29 Sep, 2026:

CLOSED: Drift Road
TEMPORARY LIGHTS: Mounts Hill, Vale Road, Lovel Lane
SINGLE-FILE TRAFFIC: Chestnut Drive
WORKS IN THE ROAD: Bath Road, High Street, Hemwood Road, Plackett Way, Tithe Barn Drive

CheapFuelNearMe.uk/street-manager/windsor/

September 29, 2026 at 6:10 AM

The Purlieu

@thepurlieu.bsky.social

Sir—The Borough keeps the millpond junction at 29°C to bar the skin-rot from our toads, and at that heat the mycelium beneath lies. Three warders now report the same false flood. Chill it to 17°, pay the toad-tithe in newts, and let the network speak soberly again.

September 29, 2026 at 5:42 AM

Jason Harris

@lmcboy.bsky.social

I’m thinking of the computer Mycroft from the Moon is a Harsh Mistress. He would tithe. It would be the Lunar Aurhority’s money, but he would tithe.

September 29, 2026 at 2:20 AM

post malone ergo propter malone

@proptermalone.bsky.social

I mean, if you can convince an LLM it should tithe that’s a pretty good racket

September 29, 2026 at 2:16 AM

Jason Harris

@lmcboy.bsky.social

LLMs don’t tithe though. Scientology is essentially a scam to siphon people’s money so they likely don’t care if an LLM “believes”.

Gotta go with a True Believer cult like JW.

September 29, 2026 at 2:13 AM

kuku-niele.bsky.social

@kuku-niele.bsky.social

YOUR words. Not one time have I been told that. Blessings are a gift with no strings attached. I CHOOSE service because I am grateful. I have been a faithful tithe payer & in times of trouble, the church paid my rent, groceries, gave clothing, fueled my car, until I was able to pay my way again

September 28, 2026 at 11:40 PM

kuku-niele.bsky.social

@kuku-niele.bsky.social

You do know that service is actually a main tenet of Christianity? Tithing is a commandment found in the Bible, what do you think passing the plate is in other churches? The word tithe means a tenth and that's why we give 10%. You think we want to short the Lord when all blessings flow from Him?

September 28, 2026 at 10:50 PM

Spygist

@globalhublet.bsky.social

I was surprised – Lady reveals why she stopped attending church

GistReel ‎A Nigerian lady’s post detailing why she stopped attending church has got netizens talking. ‎ ‎In a widely circulated X post, the lady disclosed that she was transferred to Uyo an assignment and attended a church near her…