Money talks
We got a Costco membership for the first time in our lives today. They asked why & I said because treat your workers well, you value diversity, & you didn’t cave in to authoritarian demands. He said: “We’ve been getting lots of folks saying that, thanks for joining.”
Who needs a gallon of ketchup?
Who needs a gallon of ketchup?
February 16, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Money talks
If trump says there were productive talks, that means there were either very unproductive talks, or zero talks. Thanks for coming to my talks.
Does anyone seriously believe anything he says here?
Is it even remotely tenable to have a president whose statements are so erratic and lacking in credibility?
Is it even remotely tenable to have a president whose statements are so erratic and lacking in credibility?
March 23, 2026 at 3:12 PM
If trump says there were productive talks, that means there were either very unproductive talks, or zero talks. Thanks for coming to my talks.
Your Grandad Cyclops talks about his school days
September 16, 2026 at 1:43 PM
Your Grandad Cyclops talks about his school days
AOC: When he talks about rapists and criminals, he should look in the mirror
April 15, 2025 at 1:15 AM
AOC: When he talks about rapists and criminals, he should look in the mirror
the way he talks >>>
September 29, 2024 at 10:37 PM
the way he talks >>>
compare and contrast how Trump talks about authoritarian leaders in the Middle East with how he talks about democratically elected ones in Europe and Canada
September 22, 2026 at 7:43 PM
compare and contrast how Trump talks about authoritarian leaders in the Middle East with how he talks about democratically elected ones in Europe and Canada
In talks to renew talks to begin talks.
QATAR IN TALKS WITH US, IRAN TO DEESCALATE: NYT
July 10, 2026 at 11:19 AM
In talks to renew talks to begin talks.
Schlubs From U.S., China Meet In Lowest-Level Talks
theonion.com/schlubs...
theonion.com/schlubs...
January 17, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Schlubs From U.S., China Meet In Lowest-Level Talks
theonion.com/schlubs...
theonion.com/schlubs...
If he talks like this in public…
July 7, 2025 at 9:58 PM
If he talks like this in public…
i love that every rightwinger talks like this now
July 1, 2025 at 1:57 AM
i love that every rightwinger talks like this now
Family Enters Crisis Talks After Learning Restaurant Has 45-Minute Wait http://theonion.com/family-enters-crisis-talks-after-learning-restaurant-ha-1819577952/
November 18, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Family Enters Crisis Talks After Learning Restaurant Has 45-Minute Wait http://theonion.com/family-enters-crisis-talks-after-learning-restaurant-ha-1819577952/
Sounds like the “peace talks” are going well.
March 25, 2026 at 10:30 AM
Sounds like the “peace talks” are going well.
Marathon talks? Compared to what? It took years for Obama to deliver a detailed Iran deal. The Trump admin are packing it in after 20 hours.
(H/T @bgrueskin.bsky.social)
(H/T @bgrueskin.bsky.social)
April 12, 2026 at 4:22 AM
Marathon talks? Compared to what? It took years for Obama to deliver a detailed Iran deal. The Trump admin are packing it in after 20 hours.
(H/T @bgrueskin.bsky.social)
(H/T @bgrueskin.bsky.social)
I hate it when he talks…
March 1, 2026 at 2:18 AM
I hate it when he talks…
Functionally indistinguishable from the way Putin talks about Ukraine & Xi talks about Taiwan.
Trump: "From the shores of Havana to the banks of the Panama Canal, we will drive out the forces of lawlessness and crime and foreign encroachment"
May 20, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Functionally indistinguishable from the way Putin talks about Ukraine & Xi talks about Taiwan.
[talks to you about bears for 6 hours]
September 17, 2026 at 9:14 PM
[talks to you about bears for 6 hours]
Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson talks about NASA's budget
May 6, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson talks about NASA's budget
Diplomatic Talks Break Down Between Trump, Motion-Activated Ghost Decoration https://theonion.com/diplomatic-talks-break-down-between-trump-motion-activated-ghost-decoration/
October 22, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Diplomatic Talks Break Down Between Trump, Motion-Activated Ghost Decoration https://theonion.com/diplomatic-talks-break-down-between-trump-motion-activated-ghost-decoration/
Peace Talks Day is off to a great start.
April 21, 2026 at 11:17 AM
Peace Talks Day is off to a great start.
Nobody talks, everybody walks.
September 24, 2026 at 12:28 AM
Nobody talks, everybody walks.
You can’t have peace talks without Ukraine involved.
February 17, 2025 at 1:16 AM
You can’t have peace talks without Ukraine involved.
Midwest Peace Talks Shattered By Illinois Toll-Booth Bombing
theonion.com/midwest-peac...
theonion.com/midwest-peac...
January 4, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Midwest Peace Talks Shattered By Illinois Toll-Booth Bombing
theonion.com/midwest-peac...
theonion.com/midwest-peac...
There are powerful forces out there working to divide us. It's our job to make sure they don't win, to make sure that hate doesn't win.
El-Sayed Talks Bridging Black, Arab Communities
El-Sayed Talks Bridging Black, Arab Communities
michiganchronicle.com
August 27, 2026 at 4:00 PM
There are powerful forces out there working to divide us. It's our job to make sure they don't win, to make sure that hate doesn't win.
He’s literally on tape boasting about sexually assaulting women so yes this is the way he talks
July 18, 2025 at 1:58 AM
He’s literally on tape boasting about sexually assaulting women so yes this is the way he talks