#LunchPun #wednesdaywit A professional football friend fell from a second floor balcony and was impaled on metal railings. He had a long road back to fitness and on his first day back..
Coach - is he up to it?
Me - I think he’s a bit rusty.
Coach - is he up to it?
Me - I think he’s a bit rusty.
September 23, 2026 at 8:50 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit A professional football friend fell from a second floor balcony and was impaled on metal railings. He had a long road back to fitness and on his first day back..
Coach - is he up to it?
Me - I think he’s a bit rusty.
Coach - is he up to it?
Me - I think he’s a bit rusty.
It’s funny because it’s true.😆 #WednesdayWit
April 2, 2025 at 12:31 AM
It’s funny because it’s true.😆 #WednesdayWit
March 18, 2026 at 5:20 PM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit watched an old documentary about a fishing trawler yesterday, called ‘The Knitting Fisherman’. It was great fun watching them cast off.
June 17, 2026 at 10:10 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit watched an old documentary about a fishing trawler yesterday, called ‘The Knitting Fisherman’. It was great fun watching them cast off.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I manage a large team of underwater weightlifting champions. The secret of our continued success is strength in depth.
August 13, 2025 at 10:50 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I manage a large team of underwater weightlifting champions. The secret of our continued success is strength in depth.
May 28, 2025 at 5:35 PM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Burglars stole several violins and other similar stringed instruments from a music store. I investigated and found the point of entry where a difficult lock had been picked. It all looked a bit fiddly.
September 16, 2026 at 10:09 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Burglars stole several violins and other similar stringed instruments from a music store. I investigated and found the point of entry where a difficult lock had been picked. It all looked a bit fiddly.
I went to the expense of buying a narrow boat
Only to find my Girlfriend's text didn't say she wanted to try Canal sex
#WednesdayWit #LunchPun
Only to find my Girlfriend's text didn't say she wanted to try Canal sex
#WednesdayWit #LunchPun
September 3, 2025 at 10:58 AM
I went to the expense of buying a narrow boat
Only to find my Girlfriend's text didn't say she wanted to try Canal sex
#WednesdayWit #LunchPun
Only to find my Girlfriend's text didn't say she wanted to try Canal sex
#WednesdayWit #LunchPun
They say that camouflage will be the next big thing in fashion..
Well personally, I don’t see it.
#WednesdayWit
Well personally, I don’t see it.
#WednesdayWit
September 18, 2024 at 8:45 AM
They say that camouflage will be the next big thing in fashion..
Well personally, I don’t see it.
#WednesdayWit
Well personally, I don’t see it.
#WednesdayWit
March 19, 2025 at 10:16 PM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit
My friend operates the tannoy system at our local hospital. He likes to say the visitors names and tell people what sexual issues they have. He works in ‘Out Patients’.
My friend operates the tannoy system at our local hospital. He likes to say the visitors names and tell people what sexual issues they have. He works in ‘Out Patients’.
August 12, 2026 at 9:28 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit
My friend operates the tannoy system at our local hospital. He likes to say the visitors names and tell people what sexual issues they have. He works in ‘Out Patients’.
My friend operates the tannoy system at our local hospital. He likes to say the visitors names and tell people what sexual issues they have. He works in ‘Out Patients’.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Last night I won tickets to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster. The Oddie Sea wasn’t very good.
July 23, 2026 at 10:43 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Last night I won tickets to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster. The Oddie Sea wasn’t very good.
#lunchpun #wednesdaywit Whilst exploring the Arctic I had to eat semi-rotten sea birds as we ran out of food. It was a real Tern-off.
July 9, 2025 at 11:32 AM
#lunchpun #wednesdaywit Whilst exploring the Arctic I had to eat semi-rotten sea birds as we ran out of food. It was a real Tern-off.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I am a vicar hoping for promotion along with 6 others. There are only 3 places available and 2 have already been given jobs. The remaining 5 of us have to compete for the final place in the pray-offs.
April 29, 2026 at 10:16 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I am a vicar hoping for promotion along with 6 others. There are only 3 places available and 2 have already been given jobs. The remaining 5 of us have to compete for the final place in the pray-offs.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit My mate is a show-off inventor and recently threw himself off a pier into the sea whilst on fire, to demonstrate his new flotation device.
Flame buoyant?
More like a bit extravagant.
Flame buoyant?
More like a bit extravagant.
May 20, 2026 at 11:00 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit My mate is a show-off inventor and recently threw himself off a pier into the sea whilst on fire, to demonstrate his new flotation device.
Flame buoyant?
More like a bit extravagant.
Flame buoyant?
More like a bit extravagant.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I’ve been invited to an afternoon tea reception at Windsor Castle for the US President’s visit. I’m expecting sponge fingers, jammy dodgers, alcohol soaked fruit cake and to meet more of Trump’s team as well.
September 17, 2025 at 10:55 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I’ve been invited to an afternoon tea reception at Windsor Castle for the US President’s visit. I’m expecting sponge fingers, jammy dodgers, alcohol soaked fruit cake and to meet more of Trump’s team as well.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I’ve recently landed a job writing for ‘Ice Cream Monthly’ and I’ve just had the first interview with the inventor of a giant grabber that digs out huge amounts of the product.
My editor has said it’s a very big scoop.
My editor has said it’s a very big scoop.
May 13, 2026 at 10:39 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I’ve recently landed a job writing for ‘Ice Cream Monthly’ and I’ve just had the first interview with the inventor of a giant grabber that digs out huge amounts of the product.
My editor has said it’s a very big scoop.
My editor has said it’s a very big scoop.
I’m renovating my house.. now the first floor is going well..
but the second floor? That’s another story.
#WednesdayWit
but the second floor? That’s another story.
#WednesdayWit
September 18, 2024 at 8:45 AM
I’m renovating my house.. now the first floor is going well..
but the second floor? That’s another story.
#WednesdayWit
but the second floor? That’s another story.
#WednesdayWit
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit As a detective I once arrested a blacksmith for making fake designer horse shoes for the rides of the rich and famous. He was charged with forgery.
August 26, 2026 at 9:13 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit As a detective I once arrested a blacksmith for making fake designer horse shoes for the rides of the rich and famous. He was charged with forgery.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I visited a town in the Lake District and bought my niece the male toy from the Barbie film. It came with a complimentary local delicacy and she loves the Ken Doll Mint Cake.
August 5, 2026 at 9:25 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I visited a town in the Lake District and bought my niece the male toy from the Barbie film. It came with a complimentary local delicacy and she loves the Ken Doll Mint Cake.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Went to see a clairvoyant and whether the news was good or bad, she burst out laughing after everything she told me. I do love a happy medium.
August 19, 2026 at 10:44 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Went to see a clairvoyant and whether the news was good or bad, she burst out laughing after everything she told me. I do love a happy medium.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Just heard that the Americans want a famous British chemist shop situated where they plan to land in Iran. Apparently they are very keen to see Boots on the ground.
April 1, 2026 at 10:44 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Just heard that the Americans want a famous British chemist shop situated where they plan to land in Iran. Apparently they are very keen to see Boots on the ground.
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Leafing through a sea fishing book yesterday, I came across a fish that, if it were named in Latin would be Donaldus Trump.
What sort of fish?
It’s an Orange Roughy.
What sort of fish?
It’s an Orange Roughy.
May 27, 2026 at 9:26 AM
#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Leafing through a sea fishing book yesterday, I came across a fish that, if it were named in Latin would be Donaldus Trump.
What sort of fish?
It’s an Orange Roughy.
What sort of fish?
It’s an Orange Roughy.