Asprin made me gay.
September 24, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Asprin made me gay.
King: submitted for the approval of the midnight-
Robert Asprin: hold up
Barker: what is this
Robert Asprin: i am currently assessing thread levels
Barker: steve who is this guy
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: PLEASE
Asprin: remain calm
Robert Asprin: hold up
Barker: what is this
Robert Asprin: i am currently assessing thread levels
Barker: steve who is this guy
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: PLEASE
Asprin: remain calm
October 18, 2023 at 5:06 PM
King: submitted for the approval of the midnight-
Robert Asprin: hold up
Barker: what is this
Robert Asprin: i am currently assessing thread levels
Barker: steve who is this guy
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: PLEASE
Asprin: remain calm
Robert Asprin: hold up
Barker: what is this
Robert Asprin: i am currently assessing thread levels
Barker: steve who is this guy
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: PLEASE
Asprin: remain calm
Asprin: sir please step over here
Asprin: i am scanning the area for potential security risks
Barker: steve what the fuck is this
King: oh this is robert asprin, he's doing security
Asprin: scanning
Asprin: scanning
Asprin:
Barker: steve what the-
Asprin: SCANNING
Asprin: i am scanning the area for potential security risks
Barker: steve what the fuck is this
King: oh this is robert asprin, he's doing security
Asprin: scanning
Asprin: scanning
Asprin:
Barker: steve what the-
Asprin: SCANNING
October 18, 2023 at 5:06 PM
Asprin: sir please step over here
Asprin: i am scanning the area for potential security risks
Barker: steve what the fuck is this
King: oh this is robert asprin, he's doing security
Asprin: scanning
Asprin: scanning
Asprin:
Barker: steve what the-
Asprin: SCANNING
Asprin: i am scanning the area for potential security risks
Barker: steve what the fuck is this
King: oh this is robert asprin, he's doing security
Asprin: scanning
Asprin: scanning
Asprin:
Barker: steve what the-
Asprin: SCANNING
Asprin: man down! man down!
Asprin: aughhhh
Asprin: and i only got to tell my pervect/pervert joke one time
Asprin: aughhhh
Asprin: and i only got to tell my pervect/pervert joke one time
October 18, 2023 at 5:08 PM
Asprin: man down! man down!
Asprin: aughhhh
Asprin: and i only got to tell my pervect/pervert joke one time
Asprin: aughhhh
Asprin: and i only got to tell my pervect/pervert joke one time
Robert Asprin: sir i have a story
King: oh is it a scary story?
Asprin: sir it is a funny story sir
Asprin: it is about a demon from the dimension perv
Asprin: making him a perVECT
Asprin: not a perVERT
King:
Poe:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
King: oh is it a scary story?
Asprin: sir it is a funny story sir
Asprin: it is about a demon from the dimension perv
Asprin: making him a perVECT
Asprin: not a perVERT
King:
Poe:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
October 18, 2023 at 5:07 PM
Robert Asprin: sir i have a story
King: oh is it a scary story?
Asprin: sir it is a funny story sir
Asprin: it is about a demon from the dimension perv
Asprin: making him a perVECT
Asprin: not a perVERT
King:
Poe:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
King: oh is it a scary story?
Asprin: sir it is a funny story sir
Asprin: it is about a demon from the dimension perv
Asprin: making him a perVECT
Asprin: not a perVERT
King:
Poe:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
This sounds like a Robert Asprin bit
September 30, 2026 at 11:42 AM
This sounds like a Robert Asprin bit
Asprin: MA'AM
Asprin: MA'AM
Asprin: i cannot allow you to take this weapon into the campfire perimeter
King: oh rob that's just mary, she's cool
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: i need you step back and let me do my job
King: but rob-
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: MA'AM
Asprin: i cannot allow you to take this weapon into the campfire perimeter
King: oh rob that's just mary, she's cool
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: i need you step back and let me do my job
King: but rob-
Asprin: SIR
October 18, 2023 at 5:08 PM
Asprin: MA'AM
Asprin: MA'AM
Asprin: i cannot allow you to take this weapon into the campfire perimeter
King: oh rob that's just mary, she's cool
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: i need you step back and let me do my job
King: but rob-
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: MA'AM
Asprin: i cannot allow you to take this weapon into the campfire perimeter
King: oh rob that's just mary, she's cool
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: i need you step back and let me do my job
King: but rob-
Asprin: SIR
King: oh clive, that's just an old stereotype
Barker: really?
Barker: then how do you explain Robert asprin
Robert Asprin: [wearing dorsai irregulars badge and sash] SIR i am currently giving you an ocular patdown SIR
Barker: really?
Barker: then how do you explain Robert asprin
Robert Asprin: [wearing dorsai irregulars badge and sash] SIR i am currently giving you an ocular patdown SIR
August 4, 2026 at 4:12 PM
King: oh clive, that's just an old stereotype
Barker: really?
Barker: then how do you explain Robert asprin
Robert Asprin: [wearing dorsai irregulars badge and sash] SIR i am currently giving you an ocular patdown SIR
Barker: really?
Barker: then how do you explain Robert asprin
Robert Asprin: [wearing dorsai irregulars badge and sash] SIR i am currently giving you an ocular patdown SIR
Asprin: a perVECT, not a perVERT
Asprin: that is the joke sir
Barker: this fucking sucks
Asprin: sir i'm going to need to ask you to step aside sir
Barker: what the?! NO
Asprin: sir i need to perform an ocular patdown
Barker: what the fuck- NO.
Asprin: that is the joke sir
Barker: this fucking sucks
Asprin: sir i'm going to need to ask you to step aside sir
Barker: what the?! NO
Asprin: sir i need to perform an ocular patdown
Barker: what the fuck- NO.
October 18, 2023 at 5:07 PM
Asprin: a perVECT, not a perVERT
Asprin: that is the joke sir
Barker: this fucking sucks
Asprin: sir i'm going to need to ask you to step aside sir
Barker: what the?! NO
Asprin: sir i need to perform an ocular patdown
Barker: what the fuck- NO.
Asprin: that is the joke sir
Barker: this fucking sucks
Asprin: sir i'm going to need to ask you to step aside sir
Barker: what the?! NO
Asprin: sir i need to perform an ocular patdown
Barker: what the fuck- NO.
the trump asprin thing is so funny to me because he basically gave himself hemophilia. like oh if you can't get it from inbreeding in the european monarchy because you are new money, storebought is also available
January 1, 2026 at 8:31 PM
the trump asprin thing is so funny to me because he basically gave himself hemophilia. like oh if you can't get it from inbreeding in the european monarchy because you are new money, storebought is also available
Is YOUR teen texting like a millennial?
LOL - lumbar, oh lord
DIAF - dentist! Incisors are fucked!
AFAIK - Asprin for aching, irritable knees
YMMV - you moved my varifocals
ROTFL - Really ow, this fucking lumbar
LOL - lumbar, oh lord
DIAF - dentist! Incisors are fucked!
AFAIK - Asprin for aching, irritable knees
YMMV - you moved my varifocals
ROTFL - Really ow, this fucking lumbar
September 20, 2026 at 10:13 AM
Is YOUR teen texting like a millennial?
LOL - lumbar, oh lord
DIAF - dentist! Incisors are fucked!
AFAIK - Asprin for aching, irritable knees
YMMV - you moved my varifocals
ROTFL - Really ow, this fucking lumbar
LOL - lumbar, oh lord
DIAF - dentist! Incisors are fucked!
AFAIK - Asprin for aching, irritable knees
YMMV - you moved my varifocals
ROTFL - Really ow, this fucking lumbar
King: i don't know, john, Robert asprin is pretty funny
Scalzi: i'm about a million times funnier!!
Scalzi: here i'll prove it
Scalzi: pull my finger!!
Scalzi: i'm about a million times funnier!!
Scalzi: here i'll prove it
Scalzi: pull my finger!!
July 13, 2026 at 5:23 PM
King: i don't know, john, Robert asprin is pretty funny
Scalzi: i'm about a million times funnier!!
Scalzi: here i'll prove it
Scalzi: pull my finger!!
Scalzi: i'm about a million times funnier!!
Scalzi: here i'll prove it
Scalzi: pull my finger!!
Lol. Schools can’t even give students an asprin.
September 30, 2026 at 9:06 PM
Lol. Schools can’t even give students an asprin.
Asprin: ma'am i need you to hand over the weapon
Shelley: oh you want me to give you my knife
Asprin: yes ma'am i need you to give it to me
Shelley: yeah i'll give it to you
Shelley: i'll give it to you alright
Shelley: [stabs asprin]
Shelley: oh you want me to give you my knife
Asprin: yes ma'am i need you to give it to me
Shelley: yeah i'll give it to you
Shelley: i'll give it to you alright
Shelley: [stabs asprin]
October 18, 2023 at 5:08 PM
Asprin: ma'am i need you to hand over the weapon
Shelley: oh you want me to give you my knife
Asprin: yes ma'am i need you to give it to me
Shelley: yeah i'll give it to you
Shelley: i'll give it to you alright
Shelley: [stabs asprin]
Shelley: oh you want me to give you my knife
Asprin: yes ma'am i need you to give it to me
Shelley: yeah i'll give it to you
Shelley: i'll give it to you alright
Shelley: [stabs asprin]
Scalzi: but i meant besides douglas adams
Koontz: what about Robert asprin?
Scalzi: oh COME ONE NOW
Scalzi: you can't be serious!
Scalzi: I'm twice as funny as that guy!
Koontz: what about Robert asprin?
Scalzi: oh COME ONE NOW
Scalzi: you can't be serious!
Scalzi: I'm twice as funny as that guy!
July 13, 2026 at 5:23 PM
Scalzi: but i meant besides douglas adams
Koontz: what about Robert asprin?
Scalzi: oh COME ONE NOW
Scalzi: you can't be serious!
Scalzi: I'm twice as funny as that guy!
Koontz: what about Robert asprin?
Scalzi: oh COME ONE NOW
Scalzi: you can't be serious!
Scalzi: I'm twice as funny as that guy!
Seriously, what would cause this? Some sort of IV? A necrotic skin condition?
The backs of his hands have shown bruises since February of 2025
That's 15 straight months with zero explanation or justification besides the hand-shaking thing and the asprin dosages
The backs of his hands have shown bruises since February of 2025
That's 15 straight months with zero explanation or justification besides the hand-shaking thing and the asprin dosages
another picture of Trump's hand today, which is as discolored as it has ever been
reminder: the White House's absurd explanation for this is that he's shaking too many hands
(Aaron Schwartz/AFP via Getty)
reminder: the White House's absurd explanation for this is that he's shaking too many hands
(Aaron Schwartz/AFP via Getty)
May 22, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Seriously, what would cause this? Some sort of IV? A necrotic skin condition?
The backs of his hands have shown bruises since February of 2025
That's 15 straight months with zero explanation or justification besides the hand-shaking thing and the asprin dosages
The backs of his hands have shown bruises since February of 2025
That's 15 straight months with zero explanation or justification besides the hand-shaking thing and the asprin dosages
Confession: I am the reason no used book stores in all of seattle have any Robert Asprin or Glen Cook left
October 27, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Confession: I am the reason no used book stores in all of seattle have any Robert Asprin or Glen Cook left
Not at all the point but fucking while holding an asprin between your knees is simply a challenge mode
March 8, 2024 at 3:03 PM
Not at all the point but fucking while holding an asprin between your knees is simply a challenge mode
The asprin people make some great fuckin’ ham
November 25, 2023 at 6:11 PM
The asprin people make some great fuckin’ ham
I am no doctor but I think he should double up on his asprin intake 😉
January 22, 2026 at 2:45 PM
I am no doctor but I think he should double up on his asprin intake 😉
YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF
BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A LARGE DOSE OF ASPRIN YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE DAILY
BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A LARGE DOSE OF ASPRIN YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE DAILY
President Trump tells the Wall Street Journal that the large dose of aspirin he chooses to take daily has caused him to bruise easily. www.wsj.com/us-news/as-signs-...
Exclusive | As Signs of Aging Emerge, Trump Responds With Defiance
In an interview, President Trump—the oldest man to assume the office—said he has eschewed some advice from his doctors and regrets getting advanced imaging.
www.wsj.com
January 1, 2026 at 1:26 PM
YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF
BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A LARGE DOSE OF ASPRIN YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE DAILY
BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A LARGE DOSE OF ASPRIN YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE DAILY
this was like finding out that the same guy invented asprin and heroin within a month of each other
October 14, 2025 at 10:09 PM
this was like finding out that the same guy invented asprin and heroin within a month of each other
Phule's Company by Robert Asprin.
April 1, 2026 at 1:21 AM
Phule's Company by Robert Asprin.