#ebullientsoup
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ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 1-6-2021

#ebullientsoup #chickencoup #jan6
A chicken coup
January 13, 2025 at 5:34 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 1-23-22

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #okzoomer #dementia #gnomecore
PICTURED: It's 2082 and Brayden's family has come to visit him in the nursing home. The grandkids wore their coolest gnome hats (the defining fashion article of the 2080s taking the world by storm) and can't wait to show them off. MARTHANNE: "Look, kids, Grandpa's having a lucid moment! Come and talk with him! Hiw are you doing, Grandpa Brayden?" BRAYDEN: "Marthanne, your parenting is not Gucci. Like, damn Daniel, what are those?! These children have no drip at all! They're doomed to a life of coping and getting ratioed!" LIL G (his legal birth name, wearing the red cap): "Wow, Grandpa, we knew the dementia was bad, but how can you not instantly understand the beauty of our gnomecore? Not gleef at all. Just fall off already, treesh." Braden then has a stroke and dies.
January 21, 2025 at 4:28 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 2-2-2021

#ebullientsoup #groundhogday #spooky
Oh no! Our pal Punxsutawney Phil has been accosted again by his dastardly shadow! Whatever will he do now? Should he take his pills, or continue with the urgent work of using his wife's skeleton to contact Satan to make a dark tontine that will give him ultimate power?
January 13, 2025 at 6:00 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 4-20-2020

#ebullientsoup
"As the clocks strike 4:20, Snoop Claus feeds 8 pounds of weed to a reindeer and straps it to his 2001 Toyota Corolla, making it so high that he can fly all around the world giving dank ass shit to all the good boys and girls, guided by its red eyes."
January 13, 2025 at 2:03 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally written 10-23-2020

#ebullientsoup #barney #childhoodruined #cursedmemes
A Barney mugshot Tinder profile meme (original source: idk) that I decided to add some pizzazz to.
January 13, 2025 at 4:36 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 12-8-2020

#ebullientsoup #apples #funwithweapons
The "Blueberry Blast" one I did the previous day did not get saved so this is technically a part 2 to a piece of lost media
January 13, 2025 at 4:41 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 2-23-2021

#ebullientsoup #fungi #fungusamongus #TLoUMoment #cordyceps #cursedmemes #bodyhorror
PICTURED: A guy with a mass of glowing orange and green mushrooms growing out of his face, stretching into the air as they search for new victims to spread their spores into, lecturing a disturbed bystander about how great his situation is. The bystander is already doomed. GUY: "You know, at first I didn't like that sentient radioactive mushrooms had colonized my face, but they're almost like a neat little beard now. Sure, they've gained increasing control over my brain to the point where I'm only aware of my surroundings for a few hours each day, but they have more collective intelligence than I do, so what do I have against it? Really, they've grown on me."
January 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 4-15-2021

#ebullientsoup #irs #mariomemes #supermario #TaxEvasionGoneWrong #justice
PICTURED: Yoshi shits out 4 eggs at once in a vertical stack (I swear I remember him doing something similar in one of the games) while holding a comically large bag of money in each hand. He's surrounded by glocked-up goombas and a Mushroom Kingdom IRS van, armed with a heat-seeking bullet bill turret on the roof. YOSHI: "Ohh Noooo!"
January 14, 2025 at 6:47 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally posted 7-9-2022

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #politics
PICTURED: The Oval Office, 2028. Ronald McDonald is now the big cheese and he's made some design changes to the place, notably by putting "McUSA" on the Resolute Desk, giving a live address to the nation with a bottle of "Shit Whisky" in his hand. 48th President/2nd Emperor of the United States, RONALD McDONALD: "Heya, kids! I know you elected the reanimated corpse of Ronald Reagan, but due to a few clerical errors, I, Ronald McDonald, am now your president! Fortunately no one have a shit about the difference, I guess because we're both clowns!" A solid 10-second laughtrack ensues. 100% of the US population that managed to survive the next 24 hours would come to agree that it was super cringe. PRESIDENT McDONALD: "Aaanyways I appointed Hamburglar head of foreign affairs because he helped me move, but it turns out he invaded every country on Earth to get more hamburgers, and now it's nuclear war! Hug your loved ones kids, I really bonered things up! Or join me in a belt of scotch, nobody gives a shit and we're all gonna die!"
January 23, 2025 at 2:08 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally written 8-4-2020

Basically a part 2 to the previous one

#ebullientsoup #spongebobmemes #thiccward #hyperinflation
PICTURED: Mr. Krabs, carefully reaching around Thiccward's Titanic-sized thighs, giving him his daily cut of gold (due to King Neptune's monetary policy of "just print more money, what could possibly go wrong" following the undersea covid lockdowns, the Bikini Bottom sand dollar lost 99% of its value in 2 months). A flashing sign shaped like a heart with an arrow pointing to Thiccward advertises "GRAB THESE GUCCI GIBLETS- $15/SECOND." (Mr Krabs now insists all patrons exchange their currency for "simp bucks" to utilize his services, with its value pegged to Dogecoin.) KRABS: "Agagagagag! Mr. Thiccward, thanks to your titanic bubble butt, this establishment has earned $230,000 in simp bucks from Bubble Bass alone! Aren't you thankful that the bottom of your bikini has gotten you to Bikini Bottom's 1%? 🥩🔥💋👌" After Squidward had been enthiccened by his rabid consumption of Krabby Patties dosed with some extra secret formular, the massive fat to muscle ratio left him able only to move via twerking. Although his days of being a functioning member of society were over, shaking his massive thunder thighs for the perverted public allowed him the privilege of a much more comfortable lifestyle, albeit with the complete loss of his dignity. On receiving his 33rd gold Rolex, he wondered if he would ever smile.
January 13, 2025 at 3:11 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 8-22-2022

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #justiceisserved
PICTURED: A man on trial before the Florida Kooert, where there is "liber tree and just ass fur awl" (checking your spelling is for liberal snobs who hate America). DEFENDANT: "... so that's how drinking a bottle of Everclear enlightened me to streak for my snap streak. Now yuo see, homedawg?" JUDGE: "Explain to me why you, as a preschool instructor, thought this was appropriate to do in the middle of your workday." DEFENDANT: "I'm a Florida man with anxiety. I had to get out of my clothes and booze cruise. A beer on the highway is needed to relax sometimes" JUDGE: "Ah I see. Very persuasive. Case dismissed"
January 29, 2025 at 9:17 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 1-31-2021

#ebullientsoup #mousehouse #geneticengineering #cheese
Mr and Mrs Mouse are persecuted by their local HOA for living in a house made of cheese, so Mrs. Mouse uses her genetic engineering expertise to sic termites on every other house in Suburbsville. Unfortunately, since they live in Wisconsin, the townspeople decide to eat her house as revenge.
January 13, 2025 at 5:49 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 1-22-2022

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #olddognewtricks #whitepplmoment
PICTURED: Bob arrives home after a long trip to find his dog painting a picture of his girlfriend on an easel. BOB: "Oh hey babe, I'm back from my business trip and... Rover?! Who taught him how to paint?" BABE (has never told Bob her real name): "Well, I did, but that's just him expressing his undying love for me after I realized I love him more than I could ever love you. Sorry, Bob." BOB: "I... I want to be sad about that, but like... my dog is a painter. That's so cool." BABE (wanted in 37 countries under as many aliases, you'll soon find out why): "Yeah, you're gonna need to be sad somewhere else, because he also learned how to change the locks and we've decided to kick you out. Isn't it amazing what he can do with his tongue?" BOB: "Oh. I... don't even want to think about that." BABE: "Too late. You are, and whatever you're imagining is accurate." (note: the "your" in this quote wasn't supposed to be there)
January 21, 2025 at 3:35 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 12-10-2020

#ebullientsoup #honsegloo #pony
PICTURED: Nancy, who owned a pony named Ponette as a child, has managed to develop an AI of Ponette as the mascot for her glue company, Honse Gloo Inc, which makes glue in 420.69-gallon bottles. The AI became self-aware (horse consciousness is easier to replicate than a person's) and is now big mad at Nancy.
January 13, 2025 at 4:50 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 3-8-2020

can't believe it's been almost 5 years since I started making these for friends

#ebullientsoup
"Holy Emperor of Facebook, Mark Zuckerribbit the 69th, on his highest of high chairs as he declares martial law in response to the deadly epidemic of people giving a shit about current events." This was posted the week before the first covid lockdowns so yeah, literally aged like milk.
January 13, 2025 at 1:52 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 8-26-2020

#ebullientsoup #wildfire #cursedmemes #divinepunishment #californiaonfire #relevantagain
PICTURED: Cal Fire officers Carl and [unnamed] arrive at the scene of whichever wildfire was blotting out the sun the most at the time with a truck full of gamer girl bathwater labeled "because the planet is fucked anyways" as a plane, filled with the same cursed water, drops it from overhead, with a banner flying behind it which reads "cutest collapse of a civilization ever 😘 🎈 🤤"
January 13, 2025 at 4:06 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 4-20-2021

#ebullientsoup #tubular #cursedmemes #fourtwenty #weed #copingfail
SHARANNE: "Totally tubular, Trishlynn! I'm doing both Mari-iguanas at once to get double baked? I'm about to get so dabbed up and pogchamp!" TRISHLYNN: "Sharanne, those are napkins full of grass clippings from the park, which you wrote 'Indicator' and 'Saliva' on with a crayon. I know your husband knocked up his hot cousin, but for the love of Lululemon, please stop taking his party pills before 9."
January 14, 2025 at 8:43 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 12-14-2020

#ebullientsoup #namefail #villains #madscientists #flopera
Evil Labs Inc presents an all-new virus! Straight out of its infamous Bat Soup Lab, these ultra-talented mad scientists have added gun proteins and thunder thighs to their new invention... wait they just named it Covid-20? Oh come on that basically defeats the whole purpose of making this one so badass!! Ugh, at this rate we'll have to start... actually benefiting society soon *shudder*
January 13, 2025 at 5:00 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 2-14-2021

#ebullientsoup #valentinesday #divorcedguymoment #cursedmemes #cprepicfails #nomorechildsupport #cardiacarrestmoment #beatingthesystem #divorcememes #contemplation
PICTURED: A man's heart stares wistfully into a mirror, deep in personal reflection and completely neglecting its job. The man, who has been clinically dead for 16 minutes because of that, is sprawled on the floor (arm and ground obscured by text) while an EMT (out of scene) tries using a defibrillator to no effect. In a rare win for divorced dads, he successfully gets out of ever having to pay alimony or child support ever again.
January 13, 2025 at 11:18 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 6-25-2021

#ebullientsoup #yoga #cursedmemes #bruhmoment
PICTURED: A white yoga instructor showing her class how to kneel on their partner's necks. Her assistant happens to be black. Clearly, she doesn't pay much attention to the news. INSTRUCTOR: "Alright, Yoga Queens! For this pose, I need y'all to kneel down, and place your right knee on your partner's neck! And remember, if she complains, just yell "STOP RESISTING" for a quick boost of motivation! I believe in you!" ASSISTANT: "I don't get paid enough for this shit" YOGA QUEENS: "Bruh"
January 16, 2025 at 8:47 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally written 6-17-2020

#ebullientsoup #spongebobmemes #dummythicc #thiccward
SQUIDWARD: "But Mr. Krabs, there must be something unnatural about these Krabby Patties! My stomach shouldn't be able to hold 69 of them at once, and how in Neptune's name did they make my thighs so... fat?!" KRABS: "AGAGAGAGA! Squidward, me boy, it might be unnatural, but it had to be done! I've been chasin' Pearl's mother for 16 years, but I've never been able to find that Holy Grail of dumptruck booties since the day she left me! But now, with the miracles of modern science-- and money-- my search is over! I've slowly been adding sea opioids to the Krabby Patty secret formular for years to make everyone dependent on me restaurant, and now, with my Thiccening Sauce, I can make everyine in Bikini Bittom an absolute unit like my long lost love! Finally, through your Pixar Mom thighs and ass, I can reclaim the piece of my heart that Karen stole from me, and become complete once more!"
January 13, 2025 at 2:44 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 5-5-2020

#ebullientsoup #applebees #cincodemayo #maythe4th
After the Death Star was destroyed, Darth Vader suddenly found he had a lot in common with Princess Leia: namely, despair and homelessness. Thanks to Leia's Stockholm Syndrome, they hit it off on Tinder and decided to go get blitzed for Cinco de Mayo. However, after traveling 150 parsecs to get wasted on Applebee's $3 margaritas while shoveling $2 tacos down their throats like disheveled pigs, they discover that their plans have been thwarted by a Mexican beer virus. "At least there won't be any junkies, so we'll have the bathroom stalls all to ourselves," Vader mumbled. Leia could only marvel at the fact that she was still doing this while sober enough to stand. PICTURED: Darth Vader and Princess Leia stand outside an Applebee's after having parked the tie fighter in a handicap spot to discover "no Cinco de Mayo degeneracy due to coronavirus". Leia says "bruh".
January 13, 2025 at 2:18 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 1-24-2022

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #amogus #okzoomer
PICTURED: In 2069, an old, washed-up zoomer and his son watching the HoloNews during breakfast discover that one of the astronauts on the moon base is killing other astronauts, perhaps to prevent them from accomplishing their tasks. CHILD: "Are you seeing the HoloNews right now? I think I'm gonna throw up my NutriSlurry. Why did the astronaut have to kill all those people, Daddy?" DADDY: "W-wow, *teitching* I can't believe he was faking all those tasks this whole t-time... oh Ant-God, help me...*snarl*" CHILD: "Dad? What's happening? Please--" The dad starts shaking and drooling like a rabid dog. DADDY: "What a sussy baka impostor!!! Red sus! Vote him off right now! He was totally VENTING and I saw him fake wires when blue died!! Oh so you think I'm sus for accusing? 123.78,420.69, take that, sus loser." CHILD: "Ok zoomer, I'm gonna go smoke Martian under the hypertrain while you finish going insane. For roach sakes, why can't your generation be normal?"
January 22, 2025 at 6:36 AM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 7-22-2021

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #wishfish #genie #ungrateful #becarefulwhatyouwishfor
PICTURED: The awesome, powerful, incomprehensibly beautiful (when not doodled in 2 minutes) Wish Fish bursts from a comically large genie lamp that just appeared in this guy's living room one day. Looks like there was some seawater inside... man the downstairs neighbors are going to be so pissed when water starts leaking through their ceiling again. WISH FISH: "I am the Wish Fish, here to grant you three wishes and... *gasp* please wish to let me breathe air, I beg you! I... I don't have much time--" GREEN-HAIR GUY: "I want a trillion dollars, a goth gf, and the ability to teleport." WISH FISH: "Fuck you, *wheeze* you miserable little shit. Hope you *gasp* wanted that trillion dollars in pennies to appear in your lungs."
January 16, 2025 at 9:02 PM
ebullientsoup.bsky.social
From the Archives: originally drawn 4-26-2021

#ebullientsoup #cancer #cursedmemes #yourmom #brosbeingbros
PICTURED: Kyle, left, wasting away as a basketball-sized dick tumor leaves him too weak to stand without the aid of two umbrellas to support himself. His friend, right, who has actually always hated him, is also there. KYLE: "Eyy, bro, check it *cough* out! My schlong got even *wheeze* bigger! Like, *gasp* I can barely even walk around now! Sucks to be you, huh, Mr. Schlort?" *hacks up a lung* BRO: "Kyle, I didn't wanna believe you had stage 8 dick cancer either, but at this point, you're just gonna die, and you deserve it. Your life has amounted to less than nothing, and you should just come to terms with that." KYLE: "Your... mom... stage ate these nuts" The aforementioned tumor, having spread to his spine, then splits apart his vertebrae like a shitty Jenga tower as he dies like a Dry Bones.
January 15, 2025 at 3:54 PM