News Happening Faster Than Man Can Generate Uninformed Opinions
theonion.com/news-happeni...
theonion.com/news-happeni...
December 19, 2024 at 3:06 PM
News Happening Faster Than Man Can Generate Uninformed Opinions
theonion.com/news-happeni...
theonion.com/news-happeni...
Bezos caved faster than it took me to type that.
April 30, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Bezos caved faster than it took me to type that.
They are taking back campaign promises faster than they made them.
January 9, 2025 at 12:50 PM
They are taking back campaign promises faster than they made them.
He's only going to get worse. And faster.
January 20, 2026 at 10:01 PM
He's only going to get worse. And faster.
Please Karma, work faster.
March 1, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Please Karma, work faster.
Repost to make it die faster
May 1, 2026 at 5:15 AM
Repost to make it die faster
Concerning New Study Finds Nation’s Poverty Growing Faster Than Officials Can Build Prisons
theonion.com/concern...
theonion.com/concern...
April 3, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Concerning New Study Finds Nation’s Poverty Growing Faster Than Officials Can Build Prisons
theonion.com/concern...
theonion.com/concern...
The lack of attention will kill him faster than anything else
September 21, 2026 at 5:54 PM
The lack of attention will kill him faster than anything else
Never hit the follow button faster
February 10, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Never hit the follow button faster
Dear leopards: chew faster
latest in a long running series of Republicans discovering that Republican policy preferences are bad when they’re applied to their loved ones
A Republican running for the Maine's open 2nd Congressional District seat expressed outrage that a member of his family is facing deportation by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
MAGA candidate fumes after his relative deported: 'That's not right'
www.rawstory.com/paul-lepage-...
MAGA candidate fumes after his relative deported: 'That's not right'
www.rawstory.com/paul-lepage-...
September 23, 2026 at 10:22 PM
Dear leopards: chew faster
if the wheels had come off this thing any faster it'd be a Cybertruck
June 5, 2025 at 8:21 PM
if the wheels had come off this thing any faster it'd be a Cybertruck
Cool. My electric mixer stirs faster than my finger
Lightning, a running robot developed by Chinese smartphone maker Honor, finished a 21-kilometer (13 mile) run in Beijing in a stunning 50 minutes and 26 seconds, beating the human world record by more than six minutes. https://cnn.it/4mLRxQ8
April 19, 2026 at 7:04 PM
Cool. My electric mixer stirs faster than my finger
Spiders in Australia are evolving faster than we expected....
August 17, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Spiders in Australia are evolving faster than we expected....
He’s bankrupting the country faster than he did his casinos.
March 10, 2025 at 6:39 PM
He’s bankrupting the country faster than he did his casinos.
The cost of food has risen faster than overall inflation in the last year.
Almost 90% Of Americans Are Worried About The Cost Of Groceries
The cost of food has risen faster than overall inflation in the last year.
www.forbes.com
August 4, 2025 at 5:10 PM
The cost of food has risen faster than overall inflation in the last year.
Flashy Lies traveling much faster than the truth
January 9, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Flashy Lies traveling much faster than the truth
Tesla's shares sinking faster than Russian navy.
March 10, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Tesla's shares sinking faster than Russian navy.
July 19, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Meta: Threads is growing way faster than Bluesky
Reality:
Reality:
November 15, 2024 at 12:34 AM
Meta: Threads is growing way faster than Bluesky
Reality:
Reality:
you gotta be faster
May 31, 2025 at 1:54 AM
you gotta be faster