I wrote this haiku just a moment ago:
The terrified prince
Empowering the haircut
Within the tailor
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
The terrified prince
Empowering the haircut
Within the tailor
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
September 27, 2026 at 8:37 AM
I wrote this haiku just a moment ago:
The terrified prince
Empowering the haircut
Within the tailor
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
The terrified prince
Empowering the haircut
Within the tailor
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
I wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night:
Next to the elbow
Shouting like the clean builder
A pink, clean peanut
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
Next to the elbow
Shouting like the clean builder
A pink, clean peanut
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
September 28, 2026 at 7:37 AM
I wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night:
Next to the elbow
Shouting like the clean builder
A pink, clean peanut
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
Next to the elbow
Shouting like the clean builder
A pink, clean peanut
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
Last night I dreamt of a nine o’clock and a purple circle in the desert.
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
September 28, 2026 at 10:37 AM
Last night I dreamt of a nine o’clock and a purple circle in the desert.
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
I wrote this haiku while dropping the kids off at the pool this morning:
A rising oak tree
Becoming slowly stiller
Outside a pony
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
A rising oak tree
Becoming slowly stiller
Outside a pony
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
September 27, 2026 at 11:37 PM
I wrote this haiku while dropping the kids off at the pool this morning:
A rising oak tree
Becoming slowly stiller
Outside a pony
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
A rising oak tree
Becoming slowly stiller
Outside a pony
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
Last night I dreamt of a necktie, a mate and a genie in outer space.
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
September 26, 2026 at 2:37 AM
Last night I dreamt of a necktie, a mate and a genie in outer space.
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
Last night I dreamt of a trumpet, a merperson and a pink heart in a forest.
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
September 27, 2026 at 1:37 AM
Last night I dreamt of a trumpet, a merperson and a pink heart in a forest.
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
I wrote this haiku just a moment ago:
A weary oak tree
Getting slowly stupider
Twisting like a priest
Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
A weary oak tree
Getting slowly stupider
Twisting like a priest
Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
September 26, 2026 at 3:37 PM
I wrote this haiku just a moment ago:
A weary oak tree
Getting slowly stupider
Twisting like a priest
Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
A weary oak tree
Getting slowly stupider
Twisting like a priest
Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
I wrote this haiku while dropping the kids off at the pool this morning:
An escalator
Growing forever calmer
Outside a crab trap
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
An escalator
Growing forever calmer
Outside a crab trap
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
September 26, 2026 at 1:37 AM
I wrote this haiku while dropping the kids off at the pool this morning:
An escalator
Growing forever calmer
Outside a crab trap
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
An escalator
Growing forever calmer
Outside a crab trap
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
I wrote this haiku last year, whilst holidaying in Japan:
A perverted toad
Becoming slowly brighter
Forever shouting
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
A perverted toad
Becoming slowly brighter
Forever shouting
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
September 24, 2026 at 5:37 PM
I wrote this haiku last year, whilst holidaying in Japan:
A perverted toad
Becoming slowly brighter
Forever shouting
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
A perverted toad
Becoming slowly brighter
Forever shouting
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
Last night I dreamt of a pinched fingers, a newspaper and a cigarette in a forest.
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
September 25, 2026 at 11:37 PM
Last night I dreamt of a pinched fingers, a newspaper and a cigarette in a forest.
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
Last night I dreamt of a middle finger and an ox in outer space.
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
September 25, 2026 at 10:37 AM
Last night I dreamt of a middle finger and an ox in outer space.
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
I wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night:
A small, dark doctor
Meditating on the thief
Outside a biscuit
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
A small, dark doctor
Meditating on the thief
Outside a biscuit
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
September 24, 2026 at 10:37 PM
I wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night:
A small, dark doctor
Meditating on the thief
Outside a biscuit
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
A small, dark doctor
Meditating on the thief
Outside a biscuit
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
This morning I awoke from an opium dream with the following haiku in my head:
Next to a priestess
Moving like the shopkeeper
The sweet, red brother
Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
Next to a priestess
Moving like the shopkeeper
The sweet, red brother
Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
September 28, 2026 at 9:37 AM
This morning I awoke from an opium dream with the following haiku in my head:
Next to a priestess
Moving like the shopkeeper
The sweet, red brother
Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
Next to a priestess
Moving like the shopkeeper
The sweet, red brother
Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning:
The studious rat
Pissing on the wet mother
Outside a breakfast
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
The studious rat
Pissing on the wet mother
Outside a breakfast
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
September 22, 2026 at 1:37 PM
I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning:
The studious rat
Pissing on the wet mother
Outside a breakfast
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
The studious rat
Pissing on the wet mother
Outside a breakfast
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
Last night I dreamt of a person bowing, a Laos and a woman and man holding hands in the desert.
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
September 26, 2026 at 11:37 PM
Last night I dreamt of a person bowing, a Laos and a woman and man holding hands in the desert.
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
Last night I dreamt of a Belize and a white exclamation mark in outer space.
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
September 24, 2026 at 11:37 PM
Last night I dreamt of a Belize and a white exclamation mark in outer space.
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
Why do we not just use Liz Truss as a nut?
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
September 28, 2026 at 8:37 AM
Why do we not just use Liz Truss as a nut?
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
I wrote this haiku after speaking to my spirit guide:
Outside a sniper
Becoming sometimes brighter
The rich, small mountain
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
Outside a sniper
Becoming sometimes brighter
The rich, small mountain
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
September 23, 2026 at 8:37 AM
I wrote this haiku after speaking to my spirit guide:
Outside a sniper
Becoming sometimes brighter
The rich, small mountain
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
Outside a sniper
Becoming sometimes brighter
The rich, small mountain
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
Why do we not just give the city of Watauga to a professor?
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
September 28, 2026 at 5:37 AM
Why do we not just give the city of Watauga to a professor?
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning:
An elevator
Hurrying like a sniper
Within the boyfriend
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
An elevator
Hurrying like a sniper
Within the boyfriend
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
September 23, 2026 at 12:37 PM
I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning:
An elevator
Hurrying like a sniper
Within the boyfriend
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
An elevator
Hurrying like a sniper
Within the boyfriend
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
What if we used Wallace Shawn as a wish?
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
September 26, 2026 at 5:37 PM
What if we used Wallace Shawn as a wish?
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
What if we were to give Libby Purves to Mrs. Margaret Thatcher?
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
September 28, 2026 at 6:37 AM
What if we were to give Libby Purves to Mrs. Margaret Thatcher?
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
I wrote this haiku while dropping the kids off at the pool this morning:
Outside the fir tree
Noisier than a promise
An actuary
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
Outside the fir tree
Noisier than a promise
An actuary
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
September 25, 2026 at 2:37 AM
I wrote this haiku while dropping the kids off at the pool this morning:
Outside the fir tree
Noisier than a promise
An actuary
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
Outside the fir tree
Noisier than a promise
An actuary
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
I wrote this haiku whilst coding the latest Mastodon update:
A film director
Salivating on a shirt
Outside an auntie
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
A film director
Salivating on a shirt
Outside an auntie
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
September 23, 2026 at 7:37 AM
I wrote this haiku whilst coding the latest Mastodon update:
A film director
Salivating on a shirt
Outside an auntie
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
A film director
Salivating on a shirt
Outside an auntie
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
Study these words carefully:
The burly barmaid met the clever dowager.
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
The burly barmaid met the clever dowager.
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
September 28, 2026 at 2:37 AM
Study these words carefully:
The burly barmaid met the clever dowager.
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
The burly barmaid met the clever dowager.
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.