Pete Kegstand probably uses a Matt Whitaker big dick toilet to make jungle juice for Pentagon staff meetings.
March 31, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Pete Kegstand probably uses a Matt Whitaker big dick toilet to make jungle juice for Pentagon staff meetings.
Pete Kegstand is probably so fucking drunk right now
June 22, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Pete Kegstand is probably so fucking drunk right now
Pete Kegstand might resign if we tell him there’s a job opening at a liquor store.
April 25, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Pete Kegstand might resign if we tell him there’s a job opening at a liquor store.
This is all you need to know about what Pete Kegstand did today
February 28, 2026 at 8:13 AM
This is all you need to know about what Pete Kegstand did today
My take on Justice Kegstand
His question about the language difference from the 14 A "subject to the jurisdiction thereof" vs the Civil Rights Act of 1866 which says not subject to any foreign power indicates he's not down with this nonsense either. But he could be swayed by a 12 pack of Coors
April 1, 2026 at 2:59 PM
My take on Justice Kegstand
McSweeney’s nearly as lethal as Pete Kegstand
"Can we all calm down for a minute? It appears my command to take no prisoners, exterminate all traces of life, and torch any semblance of international law has been misinterpreted. You shouldn’t rush to conclusions until you have all the facts."
My Order to Kill Everyone and Everything Was Taken Out of Context
“[Secretary of War] Hegseth ordered a lethal attack but not the killing of survivors, officials say… Amid talk of war crimes, the details and preci...
buff.ly
December 4, 2025 at 8:37 PM
McSweeney’s nearly as lethal as Pete Kegstand
here's today's post: "Pete Kegstand and the Ketamine Kid teach a master class in fucking up" — weird how nothing is ever their fault.
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Pete Kegstand and the Ketamine Kid teach a master class in fucking up
weird how nothing is ever their fault
bit.ly
April 23, 2025 at 3:19 PM
here's today's post: "Pete Kegstand and the Ketamine Kid teach a master class in fucking up" — weird how nothing is ever their fault.
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who wants to see me do a kegstand
this beer garden’s urinal is actually kinda camp
December 30, 2024 at 9:54 PM
who wants to see me do a kegstand
Pete kegstand must go, now.
October 1, 2026 at 11:44 PM
Pete kegstand must go, now.
Future Deputy Secretary of Defense under Sec Def Pete Kegstand.
March 24, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Future Deputy Secretary of Defense under Sec Def Pete Kegstand.
here's today's post: "Pete Kegstand shits a brick when Meal Team Six shows up in Chicago" — how fucking petty can one man be?
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Pete Kegstand shits a brick when Meal Team Six shows up in Chicago
how fucking petty can one man be
bit.ly
October 14, 2025 at 3:03 PM
here's today's post: "Pete Kegstand shits a brick when Meal Team Six shows up in Chicago" — how fucking petty can one man be?
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it's Saturday, and it's time for "this week in stupid: October 25 edition" — Pete Kegstand fakes it, Donny Convict breaks it, and so much more...
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this week in stupid: October 25 edition
Pete Kegstand fakes it, Donny Convict breaks it, and so much more...
bit.ly
October 25, 2025 at 3:38 PM
it's Saturday, and it's time for "this week in stupid: October 25 edition" — Pete Kegstand fakes it, Donny Convict breaks it, and so much more...
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The Weimar ultra conservative courts were very helpful (looking at you, Roberts, Alito, Thomas, Kegstand, Gorsuck, & ACB)
January 27, 2025 at 1:40 PM
The Weimar ultra conservative courts were very helpful (looking at you, Roberts, Alito, Thomas, Kegstand, Gorsuck, & ACB)
Whiskey Pete Kegstand is Trump’s little bitch. Watch as he melts down over a legitimate question. Frail little men!
June 27, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Whiskey Pete Kegstand is Trump’s little bitch. Watch as he melts down over a legitimate question. Frail little men!
Gunch is engaging in a kegstand
November 17, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Gunch is engaging in a kegstand
Here, I fixed it. The new Kegstand makeup studio completed.
April 26, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Here, I fixed it. The new Kegstand makeup studio completed.
He's next on my bingo card. Kegstand is going to be the fall guy for iran.
Falling dominoes
Falling dominoes
April 3, 2026 at 10:42 PM
He's next on my bingo card. Kegstand is going to be the fall guy for iran.
Falling dominoes
Falling dominoes
Opus Dei IS medieval and kegstand is their biggest public dick swinger.
Connect the dots!
@jenpsaki.bsky.social @ossoff.bsky.social
Connect the dots!
@jenpsaki.bsky.social @ossoff.bsky.social
October 9, 2026 at 2:05 PM
Opus Dei IS medieval and kegstand is their biggest public dick swinger.
Connect the dots!
@jenpsaki.bsky.social @ossoff.bsky.social
Connect the dots!
@jenpsaki.bsky.social @ossoff.bsky.social
Neither does Kegstand or tRump.
September 11, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Neither does Kegstand or tRump.
“That’s the whole point! If we don’t know what we’re doing? Then Iran definitely does not know what we’re doing.” 🤔 🧐 🤨 #ColinJost is a perfect Kegstand #SNL #Saturdaynightlive
March 13, 2026 at 1:52 PM
“That’s the whole point! If we don’t know what we’re doing? Then Iran definitely does not know what we’re doing.” 🤔 🧐 🤨 #ColinJost is a perfect Kegstand #SNL #Saturdaynightlive
This photo of red troops from Texas invading Illinois over a fake emergency is raising some significant questions for those who watched the televised address Pete Kegstand gave to hundreds of generals, admirals and commanders recently, a speech that already lives in infamy as the "No Fatties Speech"
October 7, 2025 at 11:06 PM
This photo of red troops from Texas invading Illinois over a fake emergency is raising some significant questions for those who watched the televised address Pete Kegstand gave to hundreds of generals, admirals and commanders recently, a speech that already lives in infamy as the "No Fatties Speech"
kegstand but for cum
December 11, 2024 at 12:56 AM
kegstand but for cum