Station Master Mikan comes out to inspect the passengers.
September 26, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Station Master Mikan comes out to inspect the passengers.
Passengers At Gate Saddened By Poor Frightened Plane Loose Inside Airport
theonion.com/passengers-a...
theonion.com/passengers-a...
June 18, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Passengers At Gate Saddened By Poor Frightened Plane Loose Inside Airport
theonion.com/passengers-a...
theonion.com/passengers-a...
‘Back To Dock’ Voted Most Popular Destination Among Current Rowboat Passengers theonion.com/back-to...
August 4, 2025 at 3:08 PM
‘Back To Dock’ Voted Most Popular Destination Among Current Rowboat Passengers theonion.com/back-to...
New Evidence Finds Titanic Passengers Continued Eating From Buffet As Ship Sank https://theonion.com/new-evidence-finds-titanic-passengers-continued-eating-1836407827/
August 24, 2025 at 7:00 PM
New Evidence Finds Titanic Passengers Continued Eating From Buffet As Ship Sank https://theonion.com/new-evidence-finds-titanic-passengers-continued-eating-1836407827/
Flight Attendant Quietly Informs First Class Passengers Where Real Emergency Exits Are https://theonion.com/flight-attendant-quietly-informs-first-class-passengers-1819576296/
March 8, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Flight Attendant Quietly Informs First Class Passengers Where Real Emergency Exits Are https://theonion.com/flight-attendant-quietly-informs-first-class-passengers-1819576296/
ICE Agents Swab Passengers’ Hands To Test For Immigrant Residue
March 24, 2026 at 6:00 PM
ICE Agents Swab Passengers’ Hands To Test For Immigrant Residue
A Delta flight carrying ~80 passengers from Minnesota appears to have crash landed at Toronto Pearson Airport. No casualties reported as of this time. Numerous photos and videos have been released showing passengers safely exiting the plane, which flipped upside down. At least 8 people injured.
February 17, 2025 at 8:13 PM
A Delta flight carrying ~80 passengers from Minnesota appears to have crash landed at Toronto Pearson Airport. No casualties reported as of this time. Numerous photos and videos have been released showing passengers safely exiting the plane, which flipped upside down. At least 8 people injured.
"Titanic passengers confident the ship cannot sink"
A Washington Post-University of Maryland poll finds Americans split on whether President-elect Donald Trump will try to rule as a dictator, but confident any effort would be be blocked.
Majority of Americans oppose Trump’s proposals to test democracy’s limits
A Washington Post-University of Maryland poll finds Americans split on whether Trump will try to rule as a dictator, but confident any effort would be be blocked.
wapo.st
December 18, 2024 at 8:06 PM
"Titanic passengers confident the ship cannot sink"
After American airspace was closed on 9/11, over 230 flights with 30,000 passengers and crew were diverted to Canadian airports. Transport Canada received thousands of calls from members of the public offering to help the stranded passengers.
Thinking about that today, for no particular reason.
Thinking about that today, for no particular reason.
February 2, 2025 at 4:20 AM
After American airspace was closed on 9/11, over 230 flights with 30,000 passengers and crew were diverted to Canadian airports. Transport Canada received thousands of calls from members of the public offering to help the stranded passengers.
Thinking about that today, for no particular reason.
Thinking about that today, for no particular reason.
Passengers are now fighting with other passengers because they don’t want the guy to be set off anymore than he is
It seems like the consensus is get him to just stop the bus somewhere??
It seems like the consensus is get him to just stop the bus somewhere??
January 20, 2026 at 2:41 AM
Passengers are now fighting with other passengers because they don’t want the guy to be set off anymore than he is
It seems like the consensus is get him to just stop the bus somewhere??
It seems like the consensus is get him to just stop the bus somewhere??
this is daft. driving passengers away is the whole point of a bus
September 23, 2026 at 11:21 AM
this is daft. driving passengers away is the whole point of a bus
We are all just passengers
July 8, 2025 at 10:48 PM
We are all just passengers
Passengers Rush To Arriving Train’s Doors Like Rat Babies Nursing At Mother’s Teats https://theonion.com/passengers-rush-to-arriving-trains-doors-like-rat-babies-nursing-at-mothers-teats/
February 15, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Passengers Rush To Arriving Train’s Doors Like Rat Babies Nursing At Mother’s Teats https://theonion.com/passengers-rush-to-arriving-trains-doors-like-rat-babies-nursing-at-mothers-teats/
We are all just passengers
April 21, 2025 at 2:59 AM
We are all just passengers
the most accurate and helpful information during this ordeal has come from paper printouts in arial font and random passengers conveying hearsay
September 23, 2026 at 10:09 AM
the most accurate and helpful information during this ordeal has come from paper printouts in arial font and random passengers conveying hearsay
passengers are all comparing notes on which hotels they got sent to and which conflicting departure times they were given
September 23, 2026 at 12:16 PM
passengers are all comparing notes on which hotels they got sent to and which conflicting departure times they were given
it’s pretty funny that Duffy is simultaneously
1. scolding passengers for not wearing fancy clothes while flying
2. supporting airport gyms so passengers can be sweaty and gross while flying
both of these proposals are idiotic but the direct contradiction is next level
1. scolding passengers for not wearing fancy clothes while flying
2. supporting airport gyms so passengers can be sweaty and gross while flying
both of these proposals are idiotic but the direct contradiction is next level
Duffy on what he's doing to improve the airport experience for travelers: "Maybe I want a workout area where people might get some blood flowing doing some pull ups or step ups in the airport."
December 8, 2025 at 9:48 PM
it’s pretty funny that Duffy is simultaneously
1. scolding passengers for not wearing fancy clothes while flying
2. supporting airport gyms so passengers can be sweaty and gross while flying
both of these proposals are idiotic but the direct contradiction is next level
1. scolding passengers for not wearing fancy clothes while flying
2. supporting airport gyms so passengers can be sweaty and gross while flying
both of these proposals are idiotic but the direct contradiction is next level
Footage captured from passengers on an airliner above Florida, showing the exact moment the Artemis II mission lifts off.
April 1, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Footage captured from passengers on an airliner above Florida, showing the exact moment the Artemis II mission lifts off.
The Biden administration sought to create a streamlined refund system free of hoops for passengers who experienced canceled or significantly changed flights.
Trump Axes Biden-Era Plan To Compensate Passengers For Flight Disruptions
The Biden administration sought to create a streamlined refund system free of hoops for passengers who experienced canceled or significantly changed flights.
www.forbes.com
November 14, 2025 at 7:30 PM
The Biden administration sought to create a streamlined refund system free of hoops for passengers who experienced canceled or significantly changed flights.
Space is big.
Alien Isolation (2014) / The Midnight Sky (2020) / Passengers (2016) / Prometheus (2012)
Alien Isolation (2014) / The Midnight Sky (2020) / Passengers (2016) / Prometheus (2012)
September 27, 2026 at 12:48 PM
Space is big.
Alien Isolation (2014) / The Midnight Sky (2020) / Passengers (2016) / Prometheus (2012)
Alien Isolation (2014) / The Midnight Sky (2020) / Passengers (2016) / Prometheus (2012)
uuhhhhhhh not good
*FOUR US SPEEDBOAT PASSENGERS SHOT DEAD BY CUBAN COAST GUARD:AFP
*FOUR US SPEEDBOAT PASSENGERS SHOT DEAD BY CUBAN COAST GUARD:AFP
February 25, 2026 at 6:55 PM
uuhhhhhhh not good
*FOUR US SPEEDBOAT PASSENGERS SHOT DEAD BY CUBAN COAST GUARD:AFP
*FOUR US SPEEDBOAT PASSENGERS SHOT DEAD BY CUBAN COAST GUARD:AFP
November 16, 2025 at 7:52 AM
FWIW, the Walt Disney World Monorail moves approximately 7,000 passengers per hour. Even the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover moves about 4,880 passengers per hour. All better than Elon's tunnels.
Max capacity passengers per hour:
* Boring Co’s Vegas Loop: 4,500
* NYC subway 6 train: 105,000
* Boring Co’s Vegas Loop: 4,500
* NYC subway 6 train: 105,000
January 27, 2025 at 12:25 PM
FWIW, the Walt Disney World Monorail moves approximately 7,000 passengers per hour. Even the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover moves about 4,880 passengers per hour. All better than Elon's tunnels.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: attention passengers is anyone here a doctor
PASSENGERS: sorry no
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: um ok well then is anyone here a pilot
PASSENGERS: sorry no
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: um ok well then is anyone here a pilot
February 17, 2025 at 10:43 PM
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: attention passengers is anyone here a doctor
PASSENGERS: sorry no
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: um ok well then is anyone here a pilot
PASSENGERS: sorry no
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: um ok well then is anyone here a pilot