What happens when the only world you’ve ever known tells you who you are allowed to be? In this episode we talk with Lilia Tarawa, who was born and raised inside the isolated Gloriavale Christian Cult in New Zealand — a place built on strict obedience, gender hierarchy, and total control over daily life. After leaving, Lilia went on to share her story publicly, including a TEDxTalk viewed by millions around the world. Lilia shares what it’s like growing up where questioning authority isn’t just discouraged, it’s unthinkable. We talk about how belief systems become identity, how doubt slowly forms even when you don’t have language for it, and what it costs to walk away when leaving means losing your family, your community, and your entire framework for reality. But this isn’t only a story about leaving. It’s about rebuilding a self from scratch. We discuss fear, freedom, guilt, autonomy, and the strange experience of learning how to make choices for the first time as an adult. Lilia also reflects on speaking publicly after escape, and why telling the story matters — not just for survivors, but for anyone trying to untangle belief from control. If you’ve ever wondered how someone leaves a closed religious system, or what comes after — be sure to listen.  Theme Music: Jenni Potts Follow Lilia Tarawa: @liliatarawa

I haven’t always loved my birthday. When I was 5 years old, the cruel Chicago winter got in my way. The Mayor issued a traveler’s advisory and my party was canceled. The next February, the same thing ...

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