D.N. Schmidt, SF author🪐📚
@dnschmidt.com
Science fiction novelist and humorist. Follow for stories, jokes, and thoughts about writing and creativity.
Get my books, free stories, and writing tips at https://dnschmidt.com. Sign up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing!
Get my books, free stories, and writing tips at https://dnschmidt.com. Sign up for email updates so you don’t miss a thing!
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D.N. Schmidt, SF author🪐📚
@dnschmidt.com
· Aug 15
The Screaming Void: Book 1 in the Chained Space Series
Amazon.com: The Screaming Void: Book 1 in the Chained Space Series: 9798993064413: Schmidt, D.N.: Books
mybook.to
Jay Jordan thought space junk salvage would be easy money. Just find an old ship that nobody’s using and grab it.
But then he got hired by gangsters to retrieve a ship holding a dangerous secret. Never trust an alien who doesn’t blink.
#booksky #spaceopera
mybook.to/screamingvoid/
But then he got hired by gangsters to retrieve a ship holding a dangerous secret. Never trust an alien who doesn’t blink.
#booksky #spaceopera
mybook.to/screamingvoid/
Now that I’ve slashed all the tires in the office parking lot, my boss has invited me to explain how to buy a bus pass.
www.cnbc.com/2026/09/22/a...
www.cnbc.com/2026/09/22/a...
Altman and Amodei expected to join UN Security Council meeting about AI
President Donald Trump addressed the U.N. General Assembly on Tuesday and pledged to support AI, despite calls to pace advanced models.
www.cnbc.com
September 22, 2026 at 6:13 PM
Now that I’ve slashed all the tires in the office parking lot, my boss has invited me to explain how to buy a bus pass.
www.cnbc.com/2026/09/22/a...
www.cnbc.com/2026/09/22/a...
Comic Book Letterer: Oh man, I have to write this guy’s name again? Better be careful with the kerning.
September 22, 2026 at 4:01 PM
Comic Book Letterer: Oh man, I have to write this guy’s name again? Better be careful with the kerning.
I don't understand why my coworkers can take three smoke breaks a day but I can't take five minutes to nap in my blanket fort.
September 22, 2026 at 2:22 PM
I don't understand why my coworkers can take three smoke breaks a day but I can't take five minutes to nap in my blanket fort.
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, SF author🪐📚
Panic! At the disco
Dissociate! At the grocery store
Anxiety attack! At the bank
Shrink into oblivion! At home
Dissociate! At the grocery store
Anxiety attack! At the bank
Shrink into oblivion! At home
March 10, 2026 at 9:33 PM
Panic! At the disco
Dissociate! At the grocery store
Anxiety attack! At the bank
Shrink into oblivion! At home
Dissociate! At the grocery store
Anxiety attack! At the bank
Shrink into oblivion! At home
Coworker was complaining that he always gets songs stuck in his head, so whenever he’s around, I quietly hum “Bananaphone.”
September 22, 2026 at 12:59 PM
Coworker was complaining that he always gets songs stuck in his head, so whenever he’s around, I quietly hum “Bananaphone.”
"Be my pilot," Jay said. "Space junk salvage isn’t anything glamorous, but when we #embark, you can still see the universe." A smile spread across Eriss's face. “Well? What are you thinking?”
She blushed. "That ‘universe’ would be a good name for unicorn poetry… And yes. Let’s fly.”
#vss365
She blushed. "That ‘universe’ would be a good name for unicorn poetry… And yes. Let’s fly.”
#vss365
September 22, 2026 at 12:21 PM
It’s the first day of autumn! Remember to switch from regular depression back to seasonal depression!
September 22, 2026 at 10:37 AM
It’s the first day of autumn! Remember to switch from regular depression back to seasonal depression!
This is such a fun read. Highly recommended! 😍
🚀 spaceships
🌡️ dark conspiracies
🎭 brotherhood
❌ no romance
🐛 strange creatures
🤖 futuristic
🪐 other worlds
🐈 a rescue cat
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/schU
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/dust-lightning
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/56...
[ #booksky ]
🌡️ dark conspiracies
🎭 brotherhood
❌ no romance
🐛 strange creatures
🤖 futuristic
🪐 other worlds
🐈 a rescue cat
🔖 universal link: mybook.to/schU
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/dust-lightning
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/56...
[ #booksky ]
September 22, 2026 at 10:05 AM
This is such a fun read. Highly recommended! 😍
"They Ate The Waitress?" is a weirdly funny murder mystery. A waitress at a restaurant for cannibals end up on the menu. Can a drug-addled detective solve the crime before he gets flattened by falling furniture?
#booksky #mystery
dnschmidt.com/they-ate-the...
#booksky #mystery
dnschmidt.com/they-ate-the...
They Ate The Waitress - D.N. Schmidt
The government has collapsed. Not suddenly with a war or apocalypse, but slowly under the weight of its own incompetence. Law enforcement is now provided by
dnschmidt.com
September 22, 2026 at 7:49 AM
"They Ate The Waitress?" is a weirdly funny murder mystery. A waitress at a restaurant for cannibals end up on the menu. Can a drug-addled detective solve the crime before he gets flattened by falling furniture?
#booksky #mystery
dnschmidt.com/they-ate-the...
#booksky #mystery
dnschmidt.com/they-ate-the...
“Actually,” Doctor Doom said, “my noisy, polluting, energy-hungry, labor-stealing robots don’t use as much water as you might think. And they’re getting more efficient all the time. So when Doom and Doom Alone controls all knowledge and creativity, your water bill will only go up a little bit.”
September 21, 2026 at 7:14 PM
“Actually,” Doctor Doom said, “my noisy, polluting, energy-hungry, labor-stealing robots don’t use as much water as you might think. And they’re getting more efficient all the time. So when Doom and Doom Alone controls all knowledge and creativity, your water bill will only go up a little bit.”
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, SF author🪐📚
At Interstellar Flight Mag, Catherine Tavares explores recent advances in disability rep in genre media.
magazine.interstellarflightpress.com/here-and-hap...
magazine.interstellarflightpress.com/here-and-hap...
September 21, 2026 at 3:10 PM
At Interstellar Flight Mag, Catherine Tavares explores recent advances in disability rep in genre media.
magazine.interstellarflightpress.com/here-and-hap...
magazine.interstellarflightpress.com/here-and-hap...
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, SF author🪐📚
👾 futuristic world
☣️ dystopia! ✨with magic✨
📝 600+ pages
🔥 grumpy x sunshine
🗡️ revenge
🍃 lots of plants
💪 close friendships
🔖 book link: mybook.to/QVgAoK
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/these-violen...
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/59...
[ #booksky ]
☣️ dystopia! ✨with magic✨
📝 600+ pages
🔥 grumpy x sunshine
🗡️ revenge
🍃 lots of plants
💪 close friendships
🔖 book link: mybook.to/QVgAoK
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/these-violen...
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/59...
[ #booksky ]
September 21, 2026 at 12:32 AM
👾 futuristic world
☣️ dystopia! ✨with magic✨
📝 600+ pages
🔥 grumpy x sunshine
🗡️ revenge
🍃 lots of plants
💪 close friendships
🔖 book link: mybook.to/QVgAoK
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/these-violen...
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/59...
[ #booksky ]
☣️ dystopia! ✨with magic✨
📝 600+ pages
🔥 grumpy x sunshine
🗡️ revenge
🍃 lots of plants
💪 close friendships
🔖 book link: mybook.to/QVgAoK
💌 itch.io link: rebecca-crunden.itch.io/these-violen...
📖 goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/59...
[ #booksky ]
One night, a #storm washed away One-Bolt Bridge. The next day, a crowd gathered to discuss what had gone wrong.
“Perhaps the engineers could have used fifty or a hundred bolts instead?” said the local nut.
“That’s inefficient,” the engineer said. “Next time, we’ll paint the bolt blue.”
#vss365
“Perhaps the engineers could have used fifty or a hundred bolts instead?” said the local nut.
“That’s inefficient,” the engineer said. “Next time, we’ll paint the bolt blue.”
#vss365
September 21, 2026 at 4:42 PM
It must be annoying for detectives to have to go to regular funerals.
“Oh, Martin Mystery is here! Are you investigating? Think you’ll find the killer?”
“Kyle ate garbage for fifty years. If anyone killed him, it’s the guy who invented using doughnuts for hamburger buns.”
“Oh, Martin Mystery is here! Are you investigating? Think you’ll find the killer?”
“Kyle ate garbage for fifty years. If anyone killed him, it’s the guy who invented using doughnuts for hamburger buns.”
September 21, 2026 at 3:38 PM
It must be annoying for detectives to have to go to regular funerals.
“Oh, Martin Mystery is here! Are you investigating? Think you’ll find the killer?”
“Kyle ate garbage for fifty years. If anyone killed him, it’s the guy who invented using doughnuts for hamburger buns.”
“Oh, Martin Mystery is here! Are you investigating? Think you’ll find the killer?”
“Kyle ate garbage for fifty years. If anyone killed him, it’s the guy who invented using doughnuts for hamburger buns.”
Me: Let’s go over it again. What are you supposed to catch?
Cat: Mouse.
Me: But you caught a..?
Cat: Moose.
Me: One is small and eats our food, but the other is big and doesn’t bother us. See the difference? Now don’t let it happen ag—
Cat: *Already picking her teeth with another antler*
Cat: Mouse.
Me: But you caught a..?
Cat: Moose.
Me: One is small and eats our food, but the other is big and doesn’t bother us. See the difference? Now don’t let it happen ag—
Cat: *Already picking her teeth with another antler*
September 21, 2026 at 1:42 PM
Me: Let’s go over it again. What are you supposed to catch?
Cat: Mouse.
Me: But you caught a..?
Cat: Moose.
Me: One is small and eats our food, but the other is big and doesn’t bother us. See the difference? Now don’t let it happen ag—
Cat: *Already picking her teeth with another antler*
Cat: Mouse.
Me: But you caught a..?
Cat: Moose.
Me: One is small and eats our food, but the other is big and doesn’t bother us. See the difference? Now don’t let it happen ag—
Cat: *Already picking her teeth with another antler*
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, SF author🪐📚
Don't you love a great storyteller who can do all the different voices? This dog does!
Check out The Martian Diaries award-winning 3-part sequel to The War Of The Worlds in #audiobooks
w/bespoke music & sound effects. Also print & ebooks.
All links at website (see bio)
#SciFiBooks #ScienceFiction
Check out The Martian Diaries award-winning 3-part sequel to The War Of The Worlds in #audiobooks
w/bespoke music & sound effects. Also print & ebooks.
All links at website (see bio)
#SciFiBooks #ScienceFiction
September 20, 2026 at 2:49 PM
Don't you love a great storyteller who can do all the different voices? This dog does!
Check out The Martian Diaries award-winning 3-part sequel to The War Of The Worlds in #audiobooks
w/bespoke music & sound effects. Also print & ebooks.
All links at website (see bio)
#SciFiBooks #ScienceFiction
Check out The Martian Diaries award-winning 3-part sequel to The War Of The Worlds in #audiobooks
w/bespoke music & sound effects. Also print & ebooks.
All links at website (see bio)
#SciFiBooks #ScienceFiction
Captain Eric took the starship through a temporal #storm, and tracked down his younger self on Earth. “I’ve come to the past to warn you about a future disaster!”
“This is the present,” Eric said.
“Hmm… That’s what the last me said, too.”
“Keep going back! You’ll get there eventually!”
#vss365
“This is the present,” Eric said.
“Hmm… That’s what the last me said, too.”
“Keep going back! You’ll get there eventually!”
#vss365
September 21, 2026 at 10:53 AM
Business idea:
A Prohibition Era-style speakeasy, but for lactose intolerant people to secretly eat cheese.
A Prohibition Era-style speakeasy, but for lactose intolerant people to secretly eat cheese.
September 20, 2026 at 3:44 PM
Business idea:
A Prohibition Era-style speakeasy, but for lactose intolerant people to secretly eat cheese.
A Prohibition Era-style speakeasy, but for lactose intolerant people to secretly eat cheese.
Dani rushed into the throne room, her sword drawn.
“At last!” the Puppet King said. “The final battle!”
“My #conflict isn’t with you,” she said. “I’m after the real ruler of Sand Castle, the ventriloquist.”
The Puppet King looked around. “What ventriloquist?”
“You’re in his lap!”
#vss365 1/2
“At last!” the Puppet King said. “The final battle!”
“My #conflict isn’t with you,” she said. “I’m after the real ruler of Sand Castle, the ventriloquist.”
The Puppet King looked around. “What ventriloquist?”
“You’re in his lap!”
#vss365 1/2
September 20, 2026 at 12:39 PM
I don’t get the point of fruit flavored candy. You know what else is sweet and delicious and tastes like fruit?
Fruit!
Fruit!
September 19, 2026 at 10:33 PM
I don’t get the point of fruit flavored candy. You know what else is sweet and delicious and tastes like fruit?
Fruit!
Fruit!
Your AI hacked other companies? So either you created illegal malware, or you’re lying about your product’s capabilities to deceive investors, which is also illegal.
You’re just lucky journalism isn’t alive to see this, or you’d be in real trouble.
You’re just lucky journalism isn’t alive to see this, or you’d be in real trouble.
September 19, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Your AI hacked other companies? So either you created illegal malware, or you’re lying about your product’s capabilities to deceive investors, which is also illegal.
You’re just lucky journalism isn’t alive to see this, or you’d be in real trouble.
You’re just lucky journalism isn’t alive to see this, or you’d be in real trouble.
Oh, you’re new here? Have you seen the town square? Yeah, the mayor finally started allowing us to have shapes again after the big Circle Cult Controversy of ‘09. We’re hoping to get a triangle sometime next year.
September 19, 2026 at 4:34 PM
Oh, you’re new here? Have you seen the town square? Yeah, the mayor finally started allowing us to have shapes again after the big Circle Cult Controversy of ‘09. We’re hoping to get a triangle sometime next year.
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, SF author🪐📚
slutty ghosts wear fitted sheets
September 17, 2026 at 7:13 PM
slutty ghosts wear fitted sheets
Movie idea:
A Saw sequel where all the traps are just really dangerous snacks. Poisoned Doritos. Skittles in a bear trap. Chips and salsa but the salsa has sharks in it.
A Saw sequel where all the traps are just really dangerous snacks. Poisoned Doritos. Skittles in a bear trap. Chips and salsa but the salsa has sharks in it.
September 19, 2026 at 3:51 PM
Movie idea:
A Saw sequel where all the traps are just really dangerous snacks. Poisoned Doritos. Skittles in a bear trap. Chips and salsa but the salsa has sharks in it.
A Saw sequel where all the traps are just really dangerous snacks. Poisoned Doritos. Skittles in a bear trap. Chips and salsa but the salsa has sharks in it.
Reposted by D.N. Schmidt, SF author🪐📚
OFF-CUTS: PATIENT ZERO - Seven dark fiction tales available on Amazon (link in bio)
#horror #horrorbooks #horrorfiction #fiction #collection
#horror #horrorbooks #horrorfiction #fiction #collection
August 22, 2026 at 5:26 PM
OFF-CUTS: PATIENT ZERO - Seven dark fiction tales available on Amazon (link in bio)
#horror #horrorbooks #horrorfiction #fiction #collection
#horror #horrorbooks #horrorfiction #fiction #collection