Make
America
Grunge
Again
America
Grunge
Again
October 3, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Make
America
Grunge
Again
America
Grunge
Again
Reposted by Helle
I'm so fucking sick of needed apps for shit. Like, I'm buying a fucking coffee, bro. We don't need a computer for this.
August 17, 2026 at 11:06 AM
I'm so fucking sick of needed apps for shit. Like, I'm buying a fucking coffee, bro. We don't need a computer for this.
Reposted by Helle
I’ve realized that a major obstacle in my career has been that I’m not a very good ass-kisser.
June 8, 2026 at 2:30 AM
I’ve realized that a major obstacle in my career has been that I’m not a very good ass-kisser.
Reposted by Helle
REM told us we’d feel fine, but I don’t.
March 20, 2026 at 10:21 PM
REM told us we’d feel fine, but I don’t.
My daughter called & asked how’s it going? And I said I don’t know I’m drinking some vodka, making a frozen pizza & watching QVC on a Saturday night so how do you think it’s going? After a long pause, she says “what’s QVC?”
June 6, 2026 at 10:08 PM
My daughter called & asked how’s it going? And I said I don’t know I’m drinking some vodka, making a frozen pizza & watching QVC on a Saturday night so how do you think it’s going? After a long pause, she says “what’s QVC?”
Reposted by Helle
Real life is a silly distraction from movies and video games
June 5, 2026 at 8:22 PM
Real life is a silly distraction from movies and video games
Reposted by Helle
The road not taken was probably under construction anyway
May 7, 2026 at 11:23 PM
The road not taken was probably under construction anyway
It’s a good thing I wasn’t able to travel to DC to tailgate the King’s visit because I would’ve thrown back a pint or 20 & held up a boom box blaring In Your Eyes
May 5, 2026 at 2:24 AM
It’s a good thing I wasn’t able to travel to DC to tailgate the King’s visit because I would’ve thrown back a pint or 20 & held up a boom box blaring In Your Eyes
The vet said my dog needs to lose weight so I asked if she’s prescribing him pupzemic or wagovy. And that’s how I realized the vet doesn’t appreciate my sense of humor.
May 2, 2026 at 12:59 AM
The vet said my dog needs to lose weight so I asked if she’s prescribing him pupzemic or wagovy. And that’s how I realized the vet doesn’t appreciate my sense of humor.
Reposted by Helle
Don't be a condiment cop. Let people use however much ketchup, mustard, etc., that they want to use.
April 27, 2026 at 9:20 PM
Don't be a condiment cop. Let people use however much ketchup, mustard, etc., that they want to use.
Reposted by Helle
i was blocked today. although i wish it was because of something i'd written, i suspect is was just a random act of kindness
April 5, 2026 at 7:44 PM
i was blocked today. although i wish it was because of something i'd written, i suspect is was just a random act of kindness
The last 10 years have added 30 years to my life.
March 21, 2026 at 12:51 AM
The last 10 years have added 30 years to my life.
REM told us we’d feel fine, but I don’t.
March 20, 2026 at 10:21 PM
REM told us we’d feel fine, but I don’t.
Reposted by Helle
Pro Tip: I’m way funnier and much better looking if you’re drinking.
March 18, 2026 at 2:43 AM
Pro Tip: I’m way funnier and much better looking if you’re drinking.
Reposted by Helle
Keep your snacks close. Your friends and enemies will sort themselves out.
March 18, 2026 at 2:20 PM
Keep your snacks close. Your friends and enemies will sort themselves out.
Apple Watch: learn more about your sleep!
Me: no need, I don’t do that anymore
Me: no need, I don’t do that anymore
February 25, 2026 at 2:36 AM
Apple Watch: learn more about your sleep!
Me: no need, I don’t do that anymore
Me: no need, I don’t do that anymore
How about them Cavs 🏀
February 25, 2026 at 2:22 AM
How about them Cavs 🏀
Hope your 2026 is less shitty than your 2025. 🥂
January 1, 2026 at 2:19 AM
Hope your 2026 is less shitty than your 2025. 🥂
Reposted by Helle
My favorite fairytale is Law & Order. The bad guys go to jail and the good guys feel bad about it over whisky.
March 13, 2025 at 2:05 AM
My favorite fairytale is Law & Order. The bad guys go to jail and the good guys feel bad about it over whisky.
Reposted by Helle
please make my gravestone a skee-ball machine and if you just want to come play skee-ball with no other type of grieving agenda that's totally cool with me (who is dead)
October 29, 2025 at 11:22 PM
please make my gravestone a skee-ball machine and if you just want to come play skee-ball with no other type of grieving agenda that's totally cool with me (who is dead)
Reposted by Helle
An extremely offline friend just referred to the lockdown as "Two Thousand and Covid" and that is how I will be referring to it from now on.
October 29, 2025 at 1:01 AM
An extremely offline friend just referred to the lockdown as "Two Thousand and Covid" and that is how I will be referring to it from now on.
Thou shall celebrate the resurrection of your savior with fireworks ~ Book of Holler Ch 1 V 1
April 20, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Thou shall celebrate the resurrection of your savior with fireworks ~ Book of Holler Ch 1 V 1
Stranger Things led me to believe there’d be more slimy tentacled monsters in the upside down. I guess they got the slimy part right.
April 7, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Stranger Things led me to believe there’d be more slimy tentacled monsters in the upside down. I guess they got the slimy part right.
Freddie says it’s Frenchie Friday. He likes to put his toys under the coffee table & then gets mad when he can’t get them out.
April 5, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Freddie says it’s Frenchie Friday. He likes to put his toys under the coffee table & then gets mad when he can’t get them out.
Streaming services as restaurants:
Netflix = Taco Bell
Disney = McDonalds
Peacock = Raising Canes
Prime = Applebees
Paramount = Olive Garden
Max = Longhorn
Apple = McCormick & Schmicks
Netflix = Taco Bell
Disney = McDonalds
Peacock = Raising Canes
Prime = Applebees
Paramount = Olive Garden
Max = Longhorn
Apple = McCormick & Schmicks
April 5, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Streaming services as restaurants:
Netflix = Taco Bell
Disney = McDonalds
Peacock = Raising Canes
Prime = Applebees
Paramount = Olive Garden
Max = Longhorn
Apple = McCormick & Schmicks
Netflix = Taco Bell
Disney = McDonalds
Peacock = Raising Canes
Prime = Applebees
Paramount = Olive Garden
Max = Longhorn
Apple = McCormick & Schmicks