Tom Swanson
@swansontea.bsky.social
Retired clockmaker of the atomic persuasion. Formerly at the US Naval Observatory.
About half of what I post isn’t serious. It’s up to you to figure out which half.
About half of what I post isn’t serious. It’s up to you to figure out which half.
Undulate implies the existence of unduearly and undu. These are all identical actions but they differ in phase
September 26, 2026 at 1:59 PM
Undulate implies the existence of unduearly and undu. These are all identical actions but they differ in phase
Is the next step buying up every ticket to every showing so nobody can see it?
September 26, 2026 at 12:17 PM
Is the next step buying up every ticket to every showing so nobody can see it?
Officer Benson is going to be SO traumatized by this
They warned us Mamdani would impose Sharia law. Instead, he unleashed the real threat: line dancing in Bryant Park.
September 26, 2026 at 12:05 PM
Officer Benson is going to be SO traumatized by this
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Does my Speak-n-Spell feel pain when I type O-U-C-H?
The jury is out.
Philosophers and neuroscientists say that's fucking stupid, but I called a guy from the Center for Pretending that Household Electronics Are Sentient and he said there's no way to know for sure.
The jury is out.
Philosophers and neuroscientists say that's fucking stupid, but I called a guy from the Center for Pretending that Household Electronics Are Sentient and he said there's no way to know for sure.
September 26, 2026 at 5:14 AM
Does my Speak-n-Spell feel pain when I type O-U-C-H?
The jury is out.
Philosophers and neuroscientists say that's fucking stupid, but I called a guy from the Center for Pretending that Household Electronics Are Sentient and he said there's no way to know for sure.
The jury is out.
Philosophers and neuroscientists say that's fucking stupid, but I called a guy from the Center for Pretending that Household Electronics Are Sentient and he said there's no way to know for sure.
<Nuclear/particle physicist, drowning their sorrows in a bar after being in the lab>
“There are no coincidences…”
“There are no coincidences…”
Both have initials H.W.... coincidence??
there are no coincidences
there are no coincidences
September 26, 2026 at 1:00 AM
<Nuclear/particle physicist, drowning their sorrows in a bar after being in the lab>
“There are no coincidences…”
“There are no coincidences…”
I basically said what you told me to (klaatu barada necktie) so the weather should be fine this weekend
September 25, 2026 at 10:48 PM
I basically said what you told me to (klaatu barada necktie) so the weather should be fine this weekend
Reposted by Tom Swanson
raise their goddam taxes holy shit
Next week, Google is putting an experimental satellite into orbit that is the first step towards building A.I. data centers in space. This technology is all still very speculative, but tech leaders are increasingly adamant that this is the future of compute. www.nytimes.com/2026/09/24/t...
Google Is Sending an A.I. Data Center to Outer Space (Gift Article)
Next Thursday, Google is sending an experimental satellite into orbit that will have enough computing power to answer simple A.I. queries from space.
www.nytimes.com
September 25, 2026 at 5:10 PM
raise their goddam taxes holy shit
Reposted by Tom Swanson
![3-panel comic. (1) [Person with shoulder-length hair gestures at diagrams on wall in front of table with three people.] PERSON 1: As the radioactive power source on *Voyager 1* weakens, we’ve been turning instruments off to conserve power. (2) PERSON 1: Only two instruments remain. Do we want to lose the plasma wave subsystem or the magnetometer? (3) PERSON 2 with ponytail: You know, if we just turned off Greg’s LED underlighting– PERSON 4 with short hair: Absolutely not. PERSON 3: Dammit, Greg. PERSON 4: I will *not* allow us to look uncool in front of aliens.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreif7mauuvcdwzdpudh4qgynso2alimxydznfrdls5gpxsslzrxvk3u)
September 25, 2026 at 5:50 PM
Fave has to be the purchase document describing our “bonified need” for something
A close second is the message sent to Cock Development (vs Clock Development, my division in the Precise Time Dept)
A close second is the message sent to Cock Development (vs Clock Development, my division in the Precise Time Dept)
my favourite typo is, & will always be, ‘the literary cannon’
September 25, 2026 at 7:35 PM
Fave has to be the purchase document describing our “bonified need” for something
A close second is the message sent to Cock Development (vs Clock Development, my division in the Precise Time Dept)
A close second is the message sent to Cock Development (vs Clock Development, my division in the Precise Time Dept)
Going through papers at my mom’s. This is a letter I sent home while I was a very busy grad student
September 25, 2026 at 6:54 PM
Going through papers at my mom’s. This is a letter I sent home while I was a very busy grad student
(posted with alt text)
Don’t worry, they wouldn't comment anyway - they‘ve been really busy and haven’t heard anything about it
Don’t worry, they wouldn't comment anyway - they‘ve been really busy and haven’t heard anything about it
September 25, 2026 at 6:42 PM
(posted with alt text)
Don’t worry, they wouldn't comment anyway - they‘ve been really busy and haven’t heard anything about it
Don’t worry, they wouldn't comment anyway - they‘ve been really busy and haven’t heard anything about it
New album just dropped
September 25, 2026 at 2:37 PM
New album just dropped
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Person enraged that Trump stopped minting pennies
Hey. If the nyt invited you to be part of a focus group what would you do as a bit?
September 25, 2026 at 3:12 AM
Person enraged that Trump stopped minting pennies
Rumor is that Kash Patel has been getting “I ❤️ Ewe” greeting cards, even though it’s nowhere near Valentines day
September 25, 2026 at 12:38 AM
Rumor is that Kash Patel has been getting “I ❤️ Ewe” greeting cards, even though it’s nowhere near Valentines day
Don’t anthropomorphize ai. They HATE that.
AP Stylebook warns against anthropomorphizing AI systems:
“Avoid language that gives them human characteristics… Instead, explain what a system does, how well it performs, who built it and who could be affected by it.”
“Avoid language that gives them human characteristics… Instead, explain what a system does, how well it performs, who built it and who could be affected by it.”
September 24, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Don’t anthropomorphize ai. They HATE that.
Reposted by Tom Swanson
September 24, 2026 at 9:57 AM
Reposted by Tom Swanson
I will not be out-dad joked
September 23, 2026 at 4:25 PM
I will not be out-dad joked
Pentagon officials are staying up late trying to find a democrat to blame this on
hahahahaha INCREDIBLE
*CHINA IS HOLDING SENSITIVE F-35 PARTS DIVERTED TO HONG KONG
*PENTAGON SAYS IT'S WORKING TO RETRIEVE STEALTHY JET PARTS
*UPS FLIGHT WTH PARTS WAS HEADED TO US BEFORE BEING DIVERTED
*CHINA IS HOLDING SENSITIVE F-35 PARTS DIVERTED TO HONG KONG
*PENTAGON SAYS IT'S WORKING TO RETRIEVE STEALTHY JET PARTS
*UPS FLIGHT WTH PARTS WAS HEADED TO US BEFORE BEING DIVERTED
September 23, 2026 at 11:52 PM
Pentagon officials are staying up late trying to find a democrat to blame this on
This is the least surprising thing of 2026.
The first architect of the White House ballroom resigned after warning repeatedly that Trump was insisting on designs that violated fire and safety codes, the Washington Post reports.
“I am the code,” Trump said www.washingtonpost.com/investigatio...
“I am the code,” Trump said www.washingtonpost.com/investigatio...
September 23, 2026 at 8:29 PM
This is the least surprising thing of 2026.
Reposted by Tom Swanson
“You might wanna sit down for this one.”
Ex DOJ pardon attorney @lawyeroyer.com says the DOJ lawyer defending Trump’s media ban is a Hitler admirer.
Ex DOJ pardon attorney @lawyeroyer.com says the DOJ lawyer defending Trump’s media ban is a Hitler admirer.
September 23, 2026 at 5:24 PM
“You might wanna sit down for this one.”
Ex DOJ pardon attorney @lawyeroyer.com says the DOJ lawyer defending Trump’s media ban is a Hitler admirer.
Ex DOJ pardon attorney @lawyeroyer.com says the DOJ lawyer defending Trump’s media ban is a Hitler admirer.
Are you suggesting it doesn’t?
Why have so many people recorded cover versions?
Why have so many people recorded cover versions?
love how this implies the ABC song has "fans"
September 23, 2026 at 4:11 PM
Are you suggesting it doesn’t?
Why have so many people recorded cover versions?
Why have so many people recorded cover versions?
I’ll tell you what, it’s neither of the clock facilities I helped build at the Naval Observatory. No siree Bob!
With all this bullshit news about President Trump renaming things after himself, I’m curious- what’s something you’ve always wanted to be named after yourself?
For me, it’s a parasite that gives dolphins GI distress. I’d love for those blubbery jerks to go “oh no, I’ve got the Shiffmans again!”
For me, it’s a parasite that gives dolphins GI distress. I’d love for those blubbery jerks to go “oh no, I’ve got the Shiffmans again!”
September 23, 2026 at 4:07 PM
I’ll tell you what, it’s neither of the clock facilities I helped build at the Naval Observatory. No siree Bob!
We had these in the physics department in college. You could do crude graphics because the screen was mapped into memory, so you could display various things using the POKE function (or read the value with PEEK)
The one, the only, the Commodore PET,
September 23, 2026 at 2:41 PM
We had these in the physics department in college. You could do crude graphics because the screen was mapped into memory, so you could display various things using the POKE function (or read the value with PEEK)
Reposted by Tom Swanson
Child: This is my first time meeting a mayor.
Mamdani: Wow, have you ever met a prime minister?
Child: No
Norway PM Jonas Gahr Støre: *walks over*
Mamdani: Wow, have you ever met a prime minister?
Child: No
Norway PM Jonas Gahr Støre: *walks over*
September 22, 2026 at 9:46 PM
Child: This is my first time meeting a mayor.
Mamdani: Wow, have you ever met a prime minister?
Child: No
Norway PM Jonas Gahr Støre: *walks over*
Mamdani: Wow, have you ever met a prime minister?
Child: No
Norway PM Jonas Gahr Støre: *walks over*