amanda carlyle
@amandacarlyle.bsky.social
no sugar, all spice. she/her
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Happy birthday, Ludacris!
buff.ly/Y7KmxCR
buff.ly/Y7KmxCR
Place I’ve Cried or Place Ludacris Claims He Had Sex in His Song “What’s Your Fantasy”?
1. A public bathroom 2. The back of a classroom 3. The Georgia Dome on the fifty-yard line while the Dirty Birds kick for t’ree 9/11/26
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 12, 2026 at 1:20 AM
Happy birthday, Ludacris!
buff.ly/Y7KmxCR
buff.ly/Y7KmxCR
"Soon I’ll be spending Saturday afternoons writing my informative classroom NEWSLETTERS and Sunday afternoons hemming and hawing about my LESSON PLANS, so I need to store up all my FRIEND TIME like I’m a GRIZZLY BEAR who’s getting ready to SOCIALLY HIBERNATE."
buff.ly/2gBeiUa
buff.ly/2gBeiUa
Hang Out with Me, a Teacher, Before Summer Is Gone
“My social calendar is CLOSING for the season except for occasional SATURDAY NIGHTS during the school year until around 8:30 p.m. (sorry) because by then my ...
www.mcsweeneys.net
August 26, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Inside of you there are two wolves
July 13, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Inside of you there are two wolves
I think today’s biggest takeaway is that if you don’t want people speaking ill of you or celebrating when you die, you should try not being an enormous shitbag while you’re alive
July 12, 2026 at 4:14 PM
I think today’s biggest takeaway is that if you don’t want people speaking ill of you or celebrating when you die, you should try not being an enormous shitbag while you’re alive
Reposted by amanda carlyle
grim reaper finally locked the fuck in. he's standing in front of that claw machine with a roll of quarters and an agenda
July 12, 2026 at 1:30 PM
grim reaper finally locked the fuck in. he's standing in front of that claw machine with a roll of quarters and an agenda
Reposted by amanda carlyle
"The first horse, signifying War, was adorned with golden, ill-fitting hair. He was recognized immediately as the great protector of Macaulay Culkin in 'Home Alone 2' and as a ’90s rap euphemism for wealth."
Book of Revelations, Chapter 6 (Revised 2026)
“You’re fired!” proclaimed the first horse. “Remember me? That was kind of my catchphrase in the early aughts.” He then remarked on the beauty of his daughte...
buff.ly
July 11, 2026 at 6:21 PM
"The first horse, signifying War, was adorned with golden, ill-fitting hair. He was recognized immediately as the great protector of Macaulay Culkin in 'Home Alone 2' and as a ’90s rap euphemism for wealth."
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Telling your kids these were the Kids in the Hall
June 18, 2026 at 1:32 AM
Telling your kids these were the Kids in the Hall
Reposted by amanda carlyle
What you wish you could be doing in New York right now is what you could be doing when It happens. HAVE A PLAN.
June 14, 2026 at 4:31 AM
What you wish you could be doing in New York right now is what you could be doing when It happens. HAVE A PLAN.
Reposted by amanda carlyle
You can never shame me for being middle-aged. I was born middle-aged
April 19, 2026 at 3:39 PM
You can never shame me for being middle-aged. I was born middle-aged
Reposted by amanda carlyle
you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of
April 14, 2026 at 4:24 PM
you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Thirty-one years ago today, the New Orleans-based alternative rock band Better than Ezra released its hit single “Good,” marking the first-ever Good Friday, which has now grown into a major holiday celebrated throughout the world.
April 3, 2026 at 11:51 AM
Thirty-one years ago today, the New Orleans-based alternative rock band Better than Ezra released its hit single “Good,” marking the first-ever Good Friday, which has now grown into a major holiday celebrated throughout the world.
Reposted by amanda carlyle
The talk to your friends app and the witness the horrors app being the same app is not great for the mental health is it
February 13, 2026 at 9:37 PM
The talk to your friends app and the witness the horrors app being the same app is not great for the mental health is it
Reposted by amanda carlyle
my cup size? reese's
February 26, 2026 at 1:19 AM
my cup size? reese's
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Sometimes I get a little upset when I live in a collapsing dystopia for many years
February 16, 2026 at 5:48 AM
Sometimes I get a little upset when I live in a collapsing dystopia for many years
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Omg you guys didn’t have to get me anything for a Valentine’s Day! but that’s so sweet, I love it 🥰
BREAKING: Department of Homeland Security (DHS) shuts down due to lack of funding
February 14, 2026 at 12:37 PM
Omg you guys didn’t have to get me anything for a Valentine’s Day! but that’s so sweet, I love it 🥰
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Roses are red
Violets are nice
Nazis are bad
Abolish ICE
Violets are nice
Nazis are bad
Abolish ICE
February 14, 2026 at 1:46 PM
Roses are red
Violets are nice
Nazis are bad
Abolish ICE
Violets are nice
Nazis are bad
Abolish ICE
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Reposted by amanda carlyle
As a child in school I never could have imagined that as an adult hearing “the vice presence of the united states got booed at the Olympics” my reaction would be an Eriq-Lasalle-in-the-ER-opening-credits fist pump
February 7, 2026 at 3:00 AM
As a child in school I never could have imagined that as an adult hearing “the vice presence of the united states got booed at the Olympics” my reaction would be an Eriq-Lasalle-in-the-ER-opening-credits fist pump
Reposted by amanda carlyle
"Does this shock you? Make you feel vulnerable? Endangered? Impuissant? SHAKE OFF YOUR SENSE OF SINGULARITY AND ENTITLEMENT, EARTH PEASANT."
[Blows a spit bubble.]
[Blows a spit bubble.]
I Am a Baby Staring at You from Between Two Airplane Seats, and I Know When You Are Going to Die
Look upon me, for I am the baby staring at you from the hollow gap betwixt two airplane seats, and I know when you are going to die. Do not turn aw...
buff.ly
February 7, 2026 at 3:00 AM
"Does this shock you? Make you feel vulnerable? Endangered? Impuissant? SHAKE OFF YOUR SENSE OF SINGULARITY AND ENTITLEMENT, EARTH PEASANT."
[Blows a spit bubble.]
[Blows a spit bubble.]
Reposted by amanda carlyle
sorry nothing short of “these people never get to have lives in public society again” is gonna cut it. unmask, prosecute, and blacklist every last one
Democrats want commonsense reform for ICE:
End the roving patrols and racial profiling.
Take accountability and abide by the same rules as local police.
Masks need to come off, body cameras need to stay on—no secret police in the United States of America.
End the roving patrols and racial profiling.
Take accountability and abide by the same rules as local police.
Masks need to come off, body cameras need to stay on—no secret police in the United States of America.
February 3, 2026 at 10:55 PM
sorry nothing short of “these people never get to have lives in public society again” is gonna cut it. unmask, prosecute, and blacklist every last one
Reposted by amanda carlyle
After seeing all the Epstein emails, I understand why CEOS love ChatGPT. They really CAN’T write emails.
February 1, 2026 at 5:24 PM
After seeing all the Epstein emails, I understand why CEOS love ChatGPT. They really CAN’T write emails.
Reposted by amanda carlyle
Is anybody else having a hell of a time managing their own inner turmoil *and* the constant external turmoil around them? I can handle one turmoil max. This is too many turmoils for me.
January 29, 2026 at 1:36 AM
Is anybody else having a hell of a time managing their own inner turmoil *and* the constant external turmoil around them? I can handle one turmoil max. This is too many turmoils for me.
Reposted by amanda carlyle
You know who else hates whistles? Rapists.
January 28, 2026 at 7:15 AM
You know who else hates whistles? Rapists.