NPC for hire
@fastpixels.bsky.social
A neurospicy word nerd who gets his little dopamine hits from etymology trivia, running far, listening to music loudly, and the odd sweet treat. May be a golden retriever in a person suit.
Same make and model. Only differences are the colourway and about 600 km.
August 21, 2026 at 5:29 PM
Same make and model. Only differences are the colourway and about 600 km.
Baking is really becoming a thing I do for a lil mental health boost. Heat warnings be damned, I'm gonna turn my tiny kitchen into a furnace.
This weekend's offerings consist of cornbread and peanut butter cookies.
This weekend's offerings consist of cornbread and peanut butter cookies.
July 12, 2026 at 8:33 PM
Baking is really becoming a thing I do for a lil mental health boost. Heat warnings be damned, I'm gonna turn my tiny kitchen into a furnace.
This weekend's offerings consist of cornbread and peanut butter cookies.
This weekend's offerings consist of cornbread and peanut butter cookies.
Confirmation that we've been experiencing bonkers humidity these days. My garden box has bonus vegetation we definitely didn't plant.
July 9, 2026 at 12:40 PM
Confirmation that we've been experiencing bonkers humidity these days. My garden box has bonus vegetation we definitely didn't plant.
CAKE UPDATE: it wasn't as difficult as I'd feared and it turned out delicious. I fear it's emboldened me to try baking another cake soon.
June 16, 2026 at 12:01 AM
CAKE UPDATE: it wasn't as difficult as I'd feared and it turned out delicious. I fear it's emboldened me to try baking another cake soon.
My favourite kitchen magic trick is probably the adding of spinach to any dish. I always have to remind myself that, when I think "oh that's too much", I need to throw in just a bit more.
June 11, 2026 at 11:12 AM
My favourite kitchen magic trick is probably the adding of spinach to any dish. I always have to remind myself that, when I think "oh that's too much", I need to throw in just a bit more.
Post a cartoon you remember that nobody else remembers.
June 9, 2026 at 4:42 PM
Post a cartoon you remember that nobody else remembers.
Homemade capaletti = little pasta buttz. Hehe.
May 30, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Homemade capaletti = little pasta buttz. Hehe.
This phone can be such a pain in my ass sometimes. And then it lets me do things like take these pics.
May 28, 2026 at 12:25 PM
This phone can be such a pain in my ass sometimes. And then it lets me do things like take these pics.
Huh. I just might need to clean the grill a little better, I dunno.
May 26, 2026 at 10:35 PM
Huh. I just might need to clean the grill a little better, I dunno.
So I didn't work out the way I wanted to this weekend. But I did knock out a good writing assignment, did some overdue housecleaning, and baked like ninetysomething cookies, so overall I'm calling it a W.
May 25, 2026 at 2:15 PM
So I didn't work out the way I wanted to this weekend. But I did knock out a good writing assignment, did some overdue housecleaning, and baked like ninetysomething cookies, so overall I'm calling it a W.
I'm 100% on board with a post like this, while at the same time I can't help taking it as a challenge.
April 3, 2026 at 11:30 AM
I'm 100% on board with a post like this, while at the same time I can't help taking it as a challenge.
Ahhhhhh finally. My emotional support team is back playing my emotional support sport.
February 21, 2026 at 7:52 PM
Ahhhhhh finally. My emotional support team is back playing my emotional support sport.
What's your favourite song that is over 10 minutes long?
January 30, 2026 at 7:35 PM
What's your favourite song that is over 10 minutes long?
Wanna see my noods? Yeah you do, you little freak.
January 30, 2026 at 7:02 PM
Wanna see my noods? Yeah you do, you little freak.
Garmin never misses a chance to troll me. I bang out one of my consistently fastest 10k runs in literally months and it colours the whole thing blue. Which, to it, means slow.
October 3, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Garmin never misses a chance to troll me. I bang out one of my consistently fastest 10k runs in literally months and it colours the whole thing blue. Which, to it, means slow.
I'm unrepentant in my dependence on music for my runs. As such, the last few weeks of bad headphone voodoo has been such a drain. I don't want to jinx it, but early results on these are so good, they didn't just give me my music back. They gave me my mojo back.
October 2, 2025 at 10:14 PM
I'm unrepentant in my dependence on music for my runs. As such, the last few weeks of bad headphone voodoo has been such a drain. I don't want to jinx it, but early results on these are so good, they didn't just give me my music back. They gave me my mojo back.
So this is one of the new trends in headphones. I'm sure if I'd shared my curiosity about this form factor someone would have said "wouldn't that clip in right where your conch piercing sits?"
September 20, 2025 at 10:22 PM
So this is one of the new trends in headphones. I'm sure if I'd shared my curiosity about this form factor someone would have said "wouldn't that clip in right where your conch piercing sits?"
These two dudes just got their glowups courtesy PerSmart groomers. I may be biased in thinking they're the two handsomest dogs alive, but not by much.
September 13, 2025 at 7:31 PM
These two dudes just got their glowups courtesy PerSmart groomers. I may be biased in thinking they're the two handsomest dogs alive, but not by much.
Because I weigh my ingredients like a good little baker, I can tell you that this is almost 2.8 kg, or 6.2 lbs, of cookie dough. Any guesses on how many bomb-ass chocolate chip cookies this will turn out?
August 21, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Because I weigh my ingredients like a good little baker, I can tell you that this is almost 2.8 kg, or 6.2 lbs, of cookie dough. Any guesses on how many bomb-ass chocolate chip cookies this will turn out?
I'd like to say the secret ingredient to my cookies is love, but it's really this.
(and maybe salted butter)
(and maybe salted butter)
August 3, 2025 at 1:08 PM
I'd like to say the secret ingredient to my cookies is love, but it's really this.
(and maybe salted butter)
(and maybe salted butter)
Nope. Not even for free. Nice try, Roku channel. 😛
June 22, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Nope. Not even for free. Nice try, Roku channel. 😛
I can't decide which Pride post I like more: the one from Sesame Street (a), or the one from homophobes (b).
June 2, 2025 at 5:12 PM
I can't decide which Pride post I like more: the one from Sesame Street (a), or the one from homophobes (b).
Not for nothing, but Archie has already activated weekend mode.
May 30, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Not for nothing, but Archie has already activated weekend mode.
This bestest boy would like a word.
May 27, 2025 at 10:19 AM
This bestest boy would like a word.
Protip: always wear a hydration vest/backpack, and you'll always look like you're training super hard 👍
May 24, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Protip: always wear a hydration vest/backpack, and you'll always look like you're training super hard 👍