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All of Ed Sheeran’s opening acts and his touring band have dropped out of the remaining dates of his ‘Loop’ tour in solidarity with Palestine and Macklemore.
September 15, 2026 at 8:59 PM
All of Ed Sheeran’s opening acts and his touring band have dropped out of the remaining dates of his ‘Loop’ tour in solidarity with Palestine and Macklemore.
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could a dead guy do this
whatcha thinkin?
September 15, 2026 at 3:12 AM
could a dead guy do this
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Donald Trump if he isn’t interior decorating
August 31, 2026 at 9:31 PM
Donald Trump if he isn’t interior decorating
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I love how Werner Herzog is ALWAYS like this:
September 1, 2026 at 8:56 AM
I love how Werner Herzog is ALWAYS like this:
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stop
August 17, 2026 at 5:06 PM
stop
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(at the museum) can i have this
June 14, 2023 at 1:43 AM
(at the museum) can i have this
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Telling the dispatcher it's important the plumber not shame me for anything I've tried to fix it myself, no matter what they see here
August 6, 2026 at 1:58 PM
Telling the dispatcher it's important the plumber not shame me for anything I've tried to fix it myself, no matter what they see here
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My wife left me by doing the “stairs behind the sofa” thing, and never came back
July 22, 2026 at 12:40 PM
My wife left me by doing the “stairs behind the sofa” thing, and never came back
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Can’t sleep? Simple methods that work:
• study hurricane forecast
• who hates me
• what did i forget
• relive supreme humiliation
• win 12-yr-old argument
• buried alive? could happen
• what i did vs should have done
• dead people i miss
• what if i’m bad
• why do i say stuff
• what’s my fuckin deal
• study hurricane forecast
• who hates me
• what did i forget
• relive supreme humiliation
• win 12-yr-old argument
• buried alive? could happen
• what i did vs should have done
• dead people i miss
• what if i’m bad
• why do i say stuff
• what’s my fuckin deal
June 19, 2026 at 9:51 AM
Can’t sleep? Simple methods that work:
• study hurricane forecast
• who hates me
• what did i forget
• relive supreme humiliation
• win 12-yr-old argument
• buried alive? could happen
• what i did vs should have done
• dead people i miss
• what if i’m bad
• why do i say stuff
• what’s my fuckin deal
• study hurricane forecast
• who hates me
• what did i forget
• relive supreme humiliation
• win 12-yr-old argument
• buried alive? could happen
• what i did vs should have done
• dead people i miss
• what if i’m bad
• why do i say stuff
• what’s my fuckin deal
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‘Time To Become Immortal,’ Announces RFK Jr., Exposing Perineum Atop Solar Tower https://theonion.com/time-to-become-immortal-announces-rfk-jr-exposing-perineum-atop-solar-tower/
July 13, 2026 at 3:00 PM
‘Time To Become Immortal,’ Announces RFK Jr., Exposing Perineum Atop Solar Tower https://theonion.com/time-to-become-immortal-announces-rfk-jr-exposing-perineum-atop-solar-tower/
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when a poor person uses food stamps for a steak or homeless person spends $5 on a beer, it’s seen as proof that all poor people are so bad with money that they shouldn’t be given any, ever, for any reason. $77 billion out the window, and zuck’s legacy as a safe government contract bet is secure.
Mark Zuckerberg’s gamble on the "Metaverse" has lost his company more than $77 billion.
December 6, 2025 at 5:41 PM
when a poor person uses food stamps for a steak or homeless person spends $5 on a beer, it’s seen as proof that all poor people are so bad with money that they shouldn’t be given any, ever, for any reason. $77 billion out the window, and zuck’s legacy as a safe government contract bet is secure.
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In a hearing where residents grilled officials on data centers, a resident of Tyrone Township, Michigan, asked a simple question: Have you signed an NDA with any party regarding developments that could affect the town?
The majority of the township's officials refused to answer.
The majority of the township's officials refused to answer.
July 8, 2026 at 2:58 PM
In a hearing where residents grilled officials on data centers, a resident of Tyrone Township, Michigan, asked a simple question: Have you signed an NDA with any party regarding developments that could affect the town?
The majority of the township's officials refused to answer.
The majority of the township's officials refused to answer.
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I'm making amends if anyone wants any fresh amends
July 7, 2026 at 11:56 PM
I'm making amends if anyone wants any fresh amends
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flooding my system with THC (The Hater Chemical)
July 1, 2026 at 7:24 PM
flooding my system with THC (The Hater Chemical)
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“Comparison is the thief of joy” that’s a pretty good saying. But I’ve heard better
June 20, 2026 at 12:10 PM
“Comparison is the thief of joy” that’s a pretty good saying. But I’ve heard better
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bookmarking this for use anytime someone asks how we can afford social safety nets.
Trump says the US dropped $200,000,000 of bombs on Iran in the last two days of the war
June 17, 2026 at 4:24 PM
bookmarking this for use anytime someone asks how we can afford social safety nets.
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Jesus blessing a woman with the recipe for Pepsi
July 2, 2023 at 5:16 PM
Jesus blessing a woman with the recipe for Pepsi
I didn’t even think the doc told the half of it, imo they painted her like an angel from heaven. Embarrassing.
Tyra Banks has filed a lawsuit against Netflix for defamation in relation to the ‘A.N.T.M.’ documentary.
She claims that her three-hour interview was edited down to just 16 minutes, using specific footage to support a false and defamatory narrative.
(people.com/tyra-banks-f...)
She claims that her three-hour interview was edited down to just 16 minutes, using specific footage to support a false and defamatory narrative.
(people.com/tyra-banks-f...)
June 13, 2026 at 6:32 PM
I didn’t even think the doc told the half of it, imo they painted her like an angel from heaven. Embarrassing.
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Cruel Stage Mom Shoves 100 Milligrams Of Adderall Down Grogu’s Throat
May 22, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Cruel Stage Mom Shoves 100 Milligrams Of Adderall Down Grogu’s Throat
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wanna feel old, this is the Chernobyl elephant’s foot today
oof -- Trump's mangled hand as photographed today by Kent Nishimura
(AFP via Getty)
(AFP via Getty)
May 19, 2026 at 11:26 PM
wanna feel old, this is the Chernobyl elephant’s foot today
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can you get arrested for how loud you yell at the virtual assistant phone voice at cvs the answer is no right do not answer please
May 14, 2026 at 10:49 PM
can you get arrested for how loud you yell at the virtual assistant phone voice at cvs the answer is no right do not answer please
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maybe we all died in the chicken sandwich wars and this is hell?
May 11, 2026 at 12:45 AM
maybe we all died in the chicken sandwich wars and this is hell?
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i may have been lazy all day and didn’t get anything done but at least i didn’t kill jesus christ, so kind of a net win
April 4, 2026 at 1:56 AM
i may have been lazy all day and didn’t get anything done but at least i didn’t kill jesus christ, so kind of a net win