Turducken Carlson
@liberalbubble.bsky.social
💙 Karaoke diva, lawyer, hobby baker, bar trivia assassin, world traveler, marathon runner, cat collector, true crime junkie, EV driver, PTSD disaster, boy mom, smartass. 💙 she/her
September 16, 2026 at 4:51 PM
Reposted by Turducken Carlson
When you want to boycott Ed Sheeran and Pink but you already don't listen to shitty music
September 15, 2026 at 1:27 PM
When you want to boycott Ed Sheeran and Pink but you already don't listen to shitty music
@triviateamnames.bsky.social
Federal Bestiality Investigation
Federal Bestiality Investigation
September 15, 2026 at 5:41 PM
@triviateamnames.bsky.social
Federal Bestiality Investigation
Federal Bestiality Investigation
At Burning Man this year, there was a Brian Thompson Memorial Port-a-Potty to pay one's, er, respects
September 14, 2026 at 4:02 PM
At Burning Man this year, there was a Brian Thompson Memorial Port-a-Potty to pay one's, er, respects
The Big Lebowski
The Princess Bride
Annie Hall
The Princess Bride
Annie Hall
Name a film you've seen 10+ times.
September 12, 2026 at 3:47 AM
The Big Lebowski
The Princess Bride
Annie Hall
The Princess Bride
Annie Hall
While today is a solemn one, let us also never forget that we had the sympathy of the world and squandered it foolishly.
September 11, 2026 at 10:05 PM
While today is a solemn one, let us also never forget that we had the sympathy of the world and squandered it foolishly.
@triviateamnames.bsky.social
Only the Young Dye Good
Only the Young Dye Good
September 6, 2026 at 1:50 AM
@triviateamnames.bsky.social
Only the Young Dye Good
Only the Young Dye Good
Reposted by Turducken Carlson
I want to be treated like a princess.
By that I mean taken on a high-speed chase through a tunnel
By that I mean taken on a high-speed chase through a tunnel
September 4, 2026 at 10:28 PM
I want to be treated like a princess.
By that I mean taken on a high-speed chase through a tunnel
By that I mean taken on a high-speed chase through a tunnel
If you watch it backwards, Titanic is actually a movie about a magical ship that comes out of the ocean to save people
September 4, 2026 at 4:45 PM
If you watch it backwards, Titanic is actually a movie about a magical ship that comes out of the ocean to save people
Reposted by Turducken Carlson
This sounds like a 4AM coke conversation I’d be desperate to get out of.
September 4, 2026 at 5:29 AM
This sounds like a 4AM coke conversation I’d be desperate to get out of.
"We are the women our parents warned us against."
~ Rest in Power, Gloria Steinem ✊️ ♀️
~ Rest in Power, Gloria Steinem ✊️ ♀️
September 3, 2026 at 8:32 PM
"We are the women our parents warned us against."
~ Rest in Power, Gloria Steinem ✊️ ♀️
~ Rest in Power, Gloria Steinem ✊️ ♀️
Google Maps uninstalled, Mapquest installed.
I'm now looking forward to printing six pages of directions so I can get to my restaurant
I'm now looking forward to printing six pages of directions so I can get to my restaurant
September 3, 2026 at 8:07 PM
Google Maps uninstalled, Mapquest installed.
I'm now looking forward to printing six pages of directions so I can get to my restaurant
I'm now looking forward to printing six pages of directions so I can get to my restaurant
I've got post-Parton depression 👢
August 30, 2026 at 4:45 PM
I've got post-Parton depression 👢
If you could snap your fingers and make 5 people disappear forever, with absolutely no consequences to you, who would be the other four?
August 29, 2026 at 12:25 AM
If you could snap your fingers and make 5 people disappear forever, with absolutely no consequences to you, who would be the other four?
You guys, what are we going to rename Ted Cruz
August 28, 2026 at 8:48 PM
You guys, what are we going to rename Ted Cruz
Reposted by Turducken Carlson
Wanted:
Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don’t get orange.
No weirdos.
Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don’t get orange.
No weirdos.
August 28, 2026 at 2:53 PM
Wanted:
Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don’t get orange.
No weirdos.
Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don’t get orange.
No weirdos.
Reposted by Turducken Carlson
In one year's time you're going to have to track down a drug dealer to get your kids their vaccines
August 27, 2026 at 11:07 PM
In one year's time you're going to have to track down a drug dealer to get your kids their vaccines
Reposted by Turducken Carlson
did any more famous 80 year olds die today
August 27, 2026 at 9:13 PM
did any more famous 80 year olds die today
Calm down, everyone. A six-time-bankrupted reality TV host has everything under control
August 27, 2026 at 8:08 PM
Calm down, everyone. A six-time-bankrupted reality TV host has everything under control
BREAKING NEWS: I am changing the name of Mar-A-Lago to "Maison de Epstein."
Thank you for your attention to this matter 🇺🇸
Thank you for your attention to this matter 🇺🇸
August 27, 2026 at 7:36 PM
BREAKING NEWS: I am changing the name of Mar-A-Lago to "Maison de Epstein."
Thank you for your attention to this matter 🇺🇸
Thank you for your attention to this matter 🇺🇸
I swear to f*cking God, my vote in the 2028 Democratic primary will be for whichever candidate makes undoing ALL of this shit a day one priority: Tearing down the arch, the ballroom, re-re-naming everything back to what it was. Sworn them in at 12 noon and have the wrecking balls swinging by 1pm
August 27, 2026 at 7:31 PM
I swear to f*cking God, my vote in the 2028 Democratic primary will be for whichever candidate makes undoing ALL of this shit a day one priority: Tearing down the arch, the ballroom, re-re-naming everything back to what it was. Sworn them in at 12 noon and have the wrecking balls swinging by 1pm
Imagine being such a horrible person that whenever someone famous dies, your fellow Americans are disappointed that it wasn't you
August 26, 2026 at 6:40 PM
Imagine being such a horrible person that whenever someone famous dies, your fellow Americans are disappointed that it wasn't you
Tiger Woods is now Homer Simpson
August 26, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Tiger Woods is now Homer Simpson
Motion to make 9/25 Dolly Parton Day
August 26, 2026 at 4:16 AM
Motion to make 9/25 Dolly Parton Day
Reposted by Turducken Carlson
Dolly Parton spent 80 years proving you could have big hair, a bigger heart, a brilliant mind and absolutely no patience for anyone who underestimated you. She gave us unforgettable songs, free books for millions of children, and enough wit, rhinestones and kindness to light up Tennessee.
August 25, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Dolly Parton spent 80 years proving you could have big hair, a bigger heart, a brilliant mind and absolutely no patience for anyone who underestimated you. She gave us unforgettable songs, free books for millions of children, and enough wit, rhinestones and kindness to light up Tennessee.