NotMe
@princessjemmy.bsky.social
Hello. I'm an adult human.
Left to my own devices, I would be a borderline cat hoarder.
Was not homeschooled by a pigeon.
Offers of Pumpkin Spice Latte will be met with shotgun fire.
Left to my own devices, I would be a borderline cat hoarder.
Was not homeschooled by a pigeon.
Offers of Pumpkin Spice Latte will be met with shotgun fire.
Me updating my family about flight delays out of Rome:
![A picture of a text. It says “ + 20 minutes to demise [should be departure, but autocorrect likes to always overcorrect my bullshit medsafed], because it finally rained and the airport workers have forgotten how to operate during a thunderstorm? [shrug emoji]”
Man, I have never had a suckier overseas trip than this one. Thanks, El Trumpo!
(EU has ghettoized U.S. passport holders with Israeli ones, and now makes you go through customs during both arrival and departure. I… don’t think it’s a coincidence…)](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jnv237d7ynybzbfowmucadbs/bafkreifm5fqibg2cl6dplqesrj42tj33dxijwomr2hoag5ly5o7g2iqgge)
September 10, 2026 at 1:56 PM
Me updating my family about flight delays out of Rome:
Feeling this.
"Both the literacy crisis and moral deterioration of our leaders pretty much guarantee our school will be shuttered soon. But in the meantime, we hope to have a well-rounded, fun year interrupted by only one or two major geopolitical crises."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/bac...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/bac...
Back-to-School Shopping List for the End-of-Times Academic Year
“One case of bottled water. Please note: This is not drinking water. This water will be used only if Tony the Chatbot becomes sentient and begins to amass po...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 2, 2026 at 12:54 AM
Feeling this.
Right? It’s probably the one out of millions who actually got caught.
i mean, cmon. ALL together now: "...
Convicted sex offender charged as Meta-perv for using camera glasses to photograph children at the Frog Pond
www.universalhub.com/crime/2026/c...
#Boston #BostonCommon #crime
www.universalhub.com/crime/2026/c...
#Boston #BostonCommon #crime
August 18, 2026 at 9:35 PM
Right? It’s probably the one out of millions who actually got caught.
Reposted by NotMe
Johnny Depp is the Elon Musk of Jack Nicholsons.
July 24, 2026 at 9:48 PM
Johnny Depp is the Elon Musk of Jack Nicholsons.
Reposted by NotMe
Refusing to discuss food contamination, screwflies, and vaccination rates do not put you beyond their reach.
July 20, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Refusing to discuss food contamination, screwflies, and vaccination rates do not put you beyond their reach.
It’s almost… almost like… they shoot on sight, innit? 🙄
Hmm. The people they kill are never the targets. I'm seeing a pattern here.
July 13, 2026 at 10:29 PM
It’s almost… almost like… they shoot on sight, innit? 🙄
Reposted by NotMe
We are never going to make a dent in these abuses if we never impose consequences.
And that's why conservatives invented qualified immunity. The abuses are the goal.
And that's why conservatives invented qualified immunity. The abuses are the goal.
July 13, 2026 at 10:11 PM
We are never going to make a dent in these abuses if we never impose consequences.
And that's why conservatives invented qualified immunity. The abuses are the goal.
And that's why conservatives invented qualified immunity. The abuses are the goal.
Arachnophobia, a short story.
Kid and I are observing a 🕷️ in the tub.
Me: “I tried drowning it, but it crawled back from the drain”
Son: “I know what to do”
*Leaves room, comes back with one of his dad’s hiking boots.*
*Pummels spider*
Kid and I are observing a 🕷️ in the tub.
Me: “I tried drowning it, but it crawled back from the drain”
Son: “I know what to do”
*Leaves room, comes back with one of his dad’s hiking boots.*
*Pummels spider*
July 11, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Arachnophobia, a short story.
Kid and I are observing a 🕷️ in the tub.
Me: “I tried drowning it, but it crawled back from the drain”
Son: “I know what to do”
*Leaves room, comes back with one of his dad’s hiking boots.*
*Pummels spider*
Kid and I are observing a 🕷️ in the tub.
Me: “I tried drowning it, but it crawled back from the drain”
Son: “I know what to do”
*Leaves room, comes back with one of his dad’s hiking boots.*
*Pummels spider*
Reposted by NotMe
Return of the anxious baby, Caturday Edition.
July 11, 2026 at 5:37 PM
Return of the anxious baby, Caturday Edition.
It’s true: teenagers are toddlers with a better vocabulary.
My youngest is back to growing upwards of an inch overnight. He has about 3 1/2 inches on me.
He was still as tall as me as late as March.
My youngest is back to growing upwards of an inch overnight. He has about 3 1/2 inches on me.
He was still as tall as me as late as March.
July 8, 2026 at 3:03 PM
It’s true: teenagers are toddlers with a better vocabulary.
My youngest is back to growing upwards of an inch overnight. He has about 3 1/2 inches on me.
He was still as tall as me as late as March.
My youngest is back to growing upwards of an inch overnight. He has about 3 1/2 inches on me.
He was still as tall as me as late as March.
Reposted by NotMe
I see that ICE is continuing to rip off the "It's coming right for us" defense from South Park.
South Park - It's coming right for us
YouTube video by South Park
youtu.be
July 7, 2026 at 9:46 PM
I see that ICE is continuing to rip off the "It's coming right for us" defense from South Park.
It’s that time off the year folks. The fireworks people started at 2 AM. As did I freely and openly offering curses to the effect of “Yeah, I hope your fingers fall off on a trip to the ER.”
Spouse said it was too harsh.
Me: “Look, they’re asking for it at 2 AM”
Spouse said it was too harsh.
Me: “Look, they’re asking for it at 2 AM”
July 4, 2026 at 7:19 PM
It’s that time off the year folks. The fireworks people started at 2 AM. As did I freely and openly offering curses to the effect of “Yeah, I hope your fingers fall off on a trip to the ER.”
Spouse said it was too harsh.
Me: “Look, they’re asking for it at 2 AM”
Spouse said it was too harsh.
Me: “Look, they’re asking for it at 2 AM”
He is so right, and it’s extremely sad.
The Supreme Court just barely (5-4) affirmed birthright citizenship. But debating basic principles of the Constitution on America’s 250th birthday week is not a cause for celebration.
The only highlight was watching Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson call out Clarence Thomas by name for his hypocrisy.
The only highlight was watching Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson call out Clarence Thomas by name for his hypocrisy.
July 1, 2026 at 4:11 AM
He is so right, and it’s extremely sad.
Not surprising. Anglo-Saxon philosophers laid the foundation for Zionism. It didn’t come out of a vacuum in the 19th century.
I have to remind everyone that are are 30 million CHRISTIAN Zionists in the US ALONE. And there are only ~16 million Jews IN THE ENTIRE WORLD and many of us aren’t Zionists.
And those 30 million CHRISTIANS make Zionism a core tenet of their faith.
This information needs to be household knowledge
And those 30 million CHRISTIANS make Zionism a core tenet of their faith.
This information needs to be household knowledge
What in the…?
“David’s Tent is caught between two competing, but both valuable, visions for the National Mall, and Capital City. King David’s vision for His Capital City: A place for all Israel to gather, worship and give thanks to the Lord!”
davidstentdc.org/dreaming-new...
“David’s Tent is caught between two competing, but both valuable, visions for the National Mall, and Capital City. King David’s vision for His Capital City: A place for all Israel to gather, worship and give thanks to the Lord!”
davidstentdc.org/dreaming-new...
June 29, 2026 at 12:57 AM
Not surprising. Anglo-Saxon philosophers laid the foundation for Zionism. It didn’t come out of a vacuum in the 19th century.
Reaching the food porn phase of illness: looking through digital recipes collections at food that could currently kill me.
June 26, 2026 at 12:13 AM
Reaching the food porn phase of illness: looking through digital recipes collections at food that could currently kill me.
Week 2 of mystery illness: getting tested for everything under the sun that could cause chills and zero fever. Including mono. That last one had me laugh out loud.
Now back in the safety of inside my blanket, in 90 F. Whatever this is, it has made me impervious to heat waves.
Now back in the safety of inside my blanket, in 90 F. Whatever this is, it has made me impervious to heat waves.
June 25, 2026 at 12:12 AM
Week 2 of mystery illness: getting tested for everything under the sun that could cause chills and zero fever. Including mono. That last one had me laugh out loud.
Now back in the safety of inside my blanket, in 90 F. Whatever this is, it has made me impervious to heat waves.
Now back in the safety of inside my blanket, in 90 F. Whatever this is, it has made me impervious to heat waves.
Scribbled while watching Furious at the local movie theater:
This basically reinforces my theory that there’s no difference b/w martian arts and ballet.
This basically reinforces my theory that there’s no difference b/w martian arts and ballet.
June 20, 2026 at 5:52 AM
Scribbled while watching Furious at the local movie theater:
This basically reinforces my theory that there’s no difference b/w martian arts and ballet.
This basically reinforces my theory that there’s no difference b/w martian arts and ballet.
Reposted by NotMe
How could they have known? There's no precedent for influenza having a devastating impact on the U.S. military!
Well... there *was* that one time in 1918 that didn't go so great.
Turns out those who remember history really are doomed to watch helplessly as those who don't go about repeating it.
Well... there *was* that one time in 1918 that didn't go so great.
Turns out those who remember history really are doomed to watch helplessly as those who don't go about repeating it.
June 18, 2026 at 9:53 PM
How could they have known? There's no precedent for influenza having a devastating impact on the U.S. military!
Well... there *was* that one time in 1918 that didn't go so great.
Turns out those who remember history really are doomed to watch helplessly as those who don't go about repeating it.
Well... there *was* that one time in 1918 that didn't go so great.
Turns out those who remember history really are doomed to watch helplessly as those who don't go about repeating it.
Reposted by NotMe
folks when we find a guy who's saying a bunch of dumbass shit can we get back to blocking them instead of screenshotting them and talking about their dumbass shit? these losers are not worth our time & when we let them waste it we insult the revolution
June 18, 2026 at 7:31 PM
folks when we find a guy who's saying a bunch of dumbass shit can we get back to blocking them instead of screenshotting them and talking about their dumbass shit? these losers are not worth our time & when we let them waste it we insult the revolution
Day #1 of summer break, and I’m already in hiding from my teens.
It’s going to be a rough 11 weeks, only slightly mitigated by July summer school and/or camps.
It’s going to be a rough 11 weeks, only slightly mitigated by July summer school and/or camps.
June 18, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Day #1 of summer break, and I’m already in hiding from my teens.
It’s going to be a rough 11 weeks, only slightly mitigated by July summer school and/or camps.
It’s going to be a rough 11 weeks, only slightly mitigated by July summer school and/or camps.
Reposted by NotMe
www.bbc.com/news/live/cr...
Unsurprising who is behind this unrest. EM and DT are definitely going to Christian hell.
Unsurprising who is behind this unrest. EM and DT are definitely going to Christian hell.
Family of Belfast knife victim say 'unrest is not welcome' as extra police brought onto streets - follow live
The family of Stephen Ogilvy say "peaceful protest is the only way forward". Public transport is closing early in Belfast today after violence last night.
www.bbc.com
June 10, 2026 at 4:13 PM
www.bbc.com/news/live/cr...
Unsurprising who is behind this unrest. EM and DT are definitely going to Christian hell.
Unsurprising who is behind this unrest. EM and DT are definitely going to Christian hell.
Reposted by NotMe
"Yes, that’s me slathered in butter because I was trying to become so frictionless that I could slide on my belly all the way from my Harvard University laboratory to Yale. It was quite painful, and the butter ended up attracting fire ants, which stung me mercilessly."
Yes, That’s Me On the Cover of Scientific Experimental Disasters That Could Have Been Prevented Magazine
“Yes, that’s me slathered in butter because I was trying to become so frictionless that I could slide on my belly all the way from my Harvard University labo...
buff.ly
June 9, 2026 at 5:29 PM
"Yes, that’s me slathered in butter because I was trying to become so frictionless that I could slide on my belly all the way from my Harvard University laboratory to Yale. It was quite painful, and the butter ended up attracting fire ants, which stung me mercilessly."
Reposted by NotMe
“The only creature that was stirring is the mice” Edition.
June 8, 2026 at 11:03 PM
“The only creature that was stirring is the mice” Edition.
Reposted by NotMe
This thread shows zero awareness of the economic history of poetry since the Second World War. The collapse of poetry as a viable piecework business, and the shift to reliance on academic postings and prize money for income, predate the dreaded Internet by decades.
Not to poet-post, but one of the problems of the internet is that it's fuelled a culture in which people "love poetry" but never actually pay for it - consuming fragments posted online instead of immersing themselves in full collections - then being surprised when poets ask to be paid for their work
June 7, 2026 at 4:02 PM
This thread shows zero awareness of the economic history of poetry since the Second World War. The collapse of poetry as a viable piecework business, and the shift to reliance on academic postings and prize money for income, predate the dreaded Internet by decades.