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wolframalphamale.bsky.social
Wolfram Alpha Male
@wolframalphamale.bsky.social
280 followers 310 following 3.4K posts
please do not the cat

she/her
Posts Replies Media Videos
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
go padres or something
clip of two panels of old Gunshow comic. first panel, guy with a bad haircut wearing a collared shirt and tie crosses his arms looking grumpy. second panel, he throws his hands up in the air and yells "I GUESS"
September 27, 2026 at 2:25 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
without downloading a new picture, post about gender
A framed piece of art hung on the side of a wooden crate. The art is drawn in crayon, and depicts a pointy toothed reptilian monster. The monster is brown and emaciated. It has human eyes and lips and no nose. It crawls along the ground, saying 'FATHER, I CRAVE CHILLI 3000'. In the lower left corner of the artwork is a black heart and a printed Penzey's spices logo. The artwork is signed 'Evan'.
September 20, 2026 at 1:51 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
I'm not traveling for RH so I've asked my mom to keep us apprised of family shenanigans (it's my dad's family)
screenshot of Signal convo with my mom's name and face redacted. Mom has texted saying 'Update: spirited discussion and bantering about The Chair and butt rights.' I texted back saying 'lmao of course the chair'
September 11, 2026 at 9:23 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
I did the new dialect quiz and it told me what high school my dad went to
heatmap over the United States showing similarity of my idiolect to archetypical dialects of the country. to the surprise of absolutely nobody, I am from Philadelphia. go birds
September 4, 2026 at 3:38 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
90s yearbook picture style photo edit of the Philly Phanatic despairing, screaming at the sky, punching the ground, throwing a temper tantrum. Dramatic red and white WordArt style text on top: SCORE SOME RUNS
July 29, 2026 at 12:27 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
my very round black cat Duck lying on her side on a white carpet with splotches of yellow and red. she is licking her paw, pointy claws flexed.
July 25, 2026 at 3:51 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
I have once again played myself
screenshot of a (very verbose)tool that has been going around Bluesky that shows you how many times you have said phrases that are unique to your account. I have a few unique ones - 'inner boom box', 'family shenanigans thread', and 'certified uncle texts' all show up 3x amongst my posts. the post above, however, has caused 'quail paste' to show up on this list
July 24, 2026 at 12:20 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
neighbor cat Hank is again patrolling around my grandmother's house, looking for a cat door that no longer exists
a large gray cat with green eyes is sitting on a concrete patio and rubbing his face on a plasticized outdoor tablecloth slung over a wooden picnic table
May 28, 2026 at 2:19 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
belatedly: lol
Red Sox have a conference at the pitchers mound while the Phillies have the bases loaded
May 15, 2026 at 12:52 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
it's nice out
shucked corn and chicken-and-pepper skewers on a gas grill
May 4, 2026 at 10:52 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
the Incredible Sulk
An eartipped black cat is falling asleep against the outstretched leg of a human, covered in a black fleece blanket. The cat is narrowing her eye in an expression of utter distain for whatever happened in the hockey game on TV that made the human pillow mad.
April 30, 2026 at 11:47 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
fortunately we have Tools for dealing with power outages like The Big MF and the Anticatifier
The Big MF, a very bright rechargeable LED flashlight that is washing put the color on the rest of the shot The Anticatifier, a glass flower vase that has been temporarily repurposed as a candle holder
April 30, 2026 at 2:16 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
flyers cocky / distraught meter is exactly in the middle of the gauge
April 28, 2026 at 2:34 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
chat should i open this PR for san francisco to review and then turn my computer all the way off until tuesday
A GitHub diff count of 2,440 lines of code added and 2,845 lines of code removed
April 17, 2026 at 9:15 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
soon
A shit load of chopped onions in a ceramic bowl Little glass mise en place bowls full of chopped ingredients: garlic, cilantro, tomatoes, and the spices from earlier. Also a half-empty tube of tomato paste and a pop-top container of kosher salt. Two packets of ground chicken
April 11, 2026 at 4:31 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
we love when recipes call for tablespoons of spices
Ground cumin, caraway, cinnamon, and Aleppo pepper, filling up half of a palm sized glass bowl
April 11, 2026 at 3:32 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
the Wells Fargo center with half the letters fallen off so it reads 'WELL F'
April 10, 2026 at 12:28 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
wojak meme. sad wojak in scribbled Phillies hat says 'stop giving me your toughest battles'. chad jesus in crown of thorns says 'it's just the fucking rockies'
April 5, 2026 at 2:18 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
booberman
Tom Boobadil The Tom Bombadil image from the meme in the previous post, but Tom Bombadil now has big naturals and the text reads: Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, Bright blue his bralette is, and his boots are yellow.
March 25, 2026 at 2:38 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
meg i dag 😑
Mem med to bilder. Første bilde: En liten ugle sitter på en gren foran en frodig bakgrunn. Uglen sier: Endelig vår! Andre bilde: Den lille uglen står på grenen midt i en snøstorm. Grenen og uglen er dekket av snø. Uglen sier: Ka i huleste // Meme with two panels First panel: A little owl sits on a branch in front of a verdant background. The owl says: Finally, spring! Second panel: The little owl stands on the branch amidst a snowstorm. Branch and owl are covered in snow. The owl says: What the heck
March 12, 2026 at 8:54 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
magnificent creature, horrible shedmonster
A black cat with very yellow eyes basks in a sunbeam on a hardwood floor, learning on the threshold to a white-tiled kitchen.
March 10, 2026 at 12:59 PM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
The Starveling Cat! The Starveling Cat! Sits on a tiny brown circular mat!
A fat black cat who is definitely not starving even though she thinks she is, sitting on top of a little circular mat that is probably part of a cat tree, on top of a white-and-gray marble-effect tile floor.
February 6, 2026 at 5:19 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
'c'mon, do something...' meme with dude poking Phillies logo with a stick
January 21, 2026 at 4:49 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
socks cat again
a large grey and white tabby cat blurrily flees a bathtub due to a human approaching it with a cell phone attempting to take a video of it chasing its tall in the tub
January 11, 2026 at 5:39 AM
wolframalphamale.bsky.social
lol
A screenshot of the word cloud from that anisota.net/harvest thing that is going around. My most used words by far are birds, uncle, game, eagles, fucking, and fuck. So I guess I post a lot about sports
December 3, 2025 at 4:25 AM