Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/
February 9, 2026 at 1:35 AM
Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/
Apparently, Kegseth hasn’t destroyed their ability to drop truth bombs.
March 11, 2026 at 2:28 AM
Apparently, Kegseth hasn’t destroyed their ability to drop truth bombs.
If only Congress had the ability to do something about this…
March 2, 2025 at 10:32 AM
If only Congress had the ability to do something about this…
While President Ineptstein and RFK jr. defund most of our research ability….
June 13, 2026 at 7:19 PM
While President Ineptstein and RFK jr. defund most of our research ability….
Your ability to eat should not depend on your productivity
Your ability to get healthcare should not depend on your productivity
Your ability to get housing should not depend on your productivity
Saying “be more productive!” To those who are struggling devalues human life.
It aids fascism.
Your ability to get healthcare should not depend on your productivity
Your ability to get housing should not depend on your productivity
Saying “be more productive!” To those who are struggling devalues human life.
It aids fascism.
October 28, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Your ability to eat should not depend on your productivity
Your ability to get healthcare should not depend on your productivity
Your ability to get housing should not depend on your productivity
Saying “be more productive!” To those who are struggling devalues human life.
It aids fascism.
Your ability to get healthcare should not depend on your productivity
Your ability to get housing should not depend on your productivity
Saying “be more productive!” To those who are struggling devalues human life.
It aids fascism.
Khopesh's portal ability.
September 8, 2024 at 3:50 PM
Khopesh's portal ability.
it is almost as if someone was promoted beyond their ability
“I’ve been hearing that standards will be eliminated or severely cut back. Bari has told people that she wants to get rid of standards and is shocked that they have so much power. She also asked openly, ‘What’s the point of standards?’” one CBS source said.
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
Bari Weiss wants to take down ‘too much power’ CBS News Standards unit: sources
EXCLUSIVE: Internal rumblings within the newsroom come after the S&P head resigned and the network disbanded its vaunted Race and Culture unit.
www.independent.co.uk
November 11, 2025 at 4:00 PM
it is almost as if someone was promoted beyond their ability
Trump doesn’t have the ability to dictate when the war is over.
March 10, 2026 at 9:44 AM
Trump doesn’t have the ability to dictate when the war is over.
The ability to read a scientific article does not guarantee the ability to understand a scientific article.
August 22, 2026 at 1:23 PM
The ability to read a scientific article does not guarantee the ability to understand a scientific article.
crazy it is almost as if weiss has been promoted beyond her ability
October 28, 2025 at 9:15 PM
crazy it is almost as if weiss has been promoted beyond her ability
I say LI, you say ABILITY!!!!
LI-ABILITY!!!!
LI-ABILITY!!!!
LI-ABILITY!!!!
LI-ABILITY!!!!
New: Another OpenAI agent hacked the Australian government.
PM says he expressed his disappointment "that it took [OpenAI] way too long to inform the government what had occurred, and the nature of the way that that notification occurred as well was unacceptable."
www.theage.com.au/politics/fed...
PM says he expressed his disappointment "that it took [OpenAI] way too long to inform the government what had occurred, and the nature of the way that that notification occurred as well was unacceptable."
www.theage.com.au/politics/fed...
OpenAI agent breached Medicare, Albanese reveals
An artificial intelligence agent developed by OpenAI hacked Medicare this year, in a breach that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has labelled “unacceptable”.
www.theage.com.au
September 23, 2026 at 8:58 PM
I say LI, you say ABILITY!!!!
LI-ABILITY!!!!
LI-ABILITY!!!!
LI-ABILITY!!!!
LI-ABILITY!!!!
Take away the president's power to pardon.
The ability has been abused.
The ability has been abused.
May 26, 2026 at 11:53 AM
Take away the president's power to pardon.
The ability has been abused.
The ability has been abused.
This is Phyllis. She has the unique ability to nap standing up. And an even unique-er ability to do it right on top of her human's face. 14/10
December 5, 2024 at 10:20 PM
This is Phyllis. She has the unique ability to nap standing up. And an even unique-er ability to do it right on top of her human's face. 14/10
Man Wakes From Coma With Ability To Understand Health Insurance Policy https://theonion.com/man-wakes-from-coma-with-ability-to-understand-health-i-1819579312/
September 5, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Man Wakes From Coma With Ability To Understand Health Insurance Policy https://theonion.com/man-wakes-from-coma-with-ability-to-understand-health-i-1819579312/
🇪🇺"Until we actually admit to ourselves that leaving the EU massively hit our growth"
📈 "By growth we actually mean our prosperity, you know, our ability to function, our ability to push up our wages, our ability to actually, you know, trade easily with our nearest partners."
📈 "By growth we actually mean our prosperity, you know, our ability to function, our ability to push up our wages, our ability to actually, you know, trade easily with our nearest partners."
September 25, 2026 at 5:57 PM
🇪🇺"Until we actually admit to ourselves that leaving the EU massively hit our growth"
📈 "By growth we actually mean our prosperity, you know, our ability to function, our ability to push up our wages, our ability to actually, you know, trade easily with our nearest partners."
📈 "By growth we actually mean our prosperity, you know, our ability to function, our ability to push up our wages, our ability to actually, you know, trade easily with our nearest partners."
The ability to control mass party opinion this directly is unlike anything I’ve really seen in my time covering politics.
March 7, 2025 at 8:55 PM
The ability to control mass party opinion this directly is unlike anything I’ve really seen in my time covering politics.
coydog special ability
December 10, 2024 at 4:51 AM
coydog special ability
"Some experts say staff shortages might have complicated forecasters’ ability to coordinate responses with local emergency management officials," per NYT.
July 6, 2025 at 4:32 PM
"Some experts say staff shortages might have complicated forecasters’ ability to coordinate responses with local emergency management officials," per NYT.
one of the projects of the court is to expand the ability of states to pursue reactionary ends and constrain the ability of the federal government to set minimum standards *or* of democratic-led states to expand upon existing rights
🚨By a 6–3 vote, the Supreme Court ALLOWS states to defund Planned Parenthood, holding that Medicaid does not give patients a right to obtain care from its providers. All three liberals dissent. www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/24p...
June 26, 2025 at 2:20 PM
one of the projects of the court is to expand the ability of states to pursue reactionary ends and constrain the ability of the federal government to set minimum standards *or* of democratic-led states to expand upon existing rights
Weather forecaster explains how cuts impact his ability to warn of hurricane dangers accurately.
June 4, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Weather forecaster explains how cuts impact his ability to warn of hurricane dangers accurately.
My ability to remember song lyrics from the ‘80s & ‘90s, far exceeds my ability to remember why I walk into the kitchen.
September 24, 2026 at 3:08 PM
My ability to remember song lyrics from the ‘80s & ‘90s, far exceeds my ability to remember why I walk into the kitchen.
they must not underestimate my ability to completely accidentally be a menace to society
September 26, 2026 at 10:42 PM
they must not underestimate my ability to completely accidentally be a menace to society
He had the right to remain silent, but he didn’t have the ability. bsky.app/profile/head...
Ron White to Joe Rogan: Talarico didn't cost this state $6 million in fines and lawsuits, and that happened with Ken Paxton. Guess who paid that $6 million? You and me paid the $6 million for his bribery. His own party impeached him. He's a criminal. He's a piece of shit.
September 16, 2026 at 11:49 PM
He had the right to remain silent, but he didn’t have the ability. bsky.app/profile/head...