Your body, my wood chipper.
November 11, 2024 at 7:56 PM
Your body, my wood chipper.
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker https://theonion.com/coworker-who-went-to-gym-this-morning-a-chipper-little-1819574999/
May 27, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker https://theonion.com/coworker-who-went-to-gym-this-morning-a-chipper-little-1819574999/
Cosigned. As @pattonoswalt.bsky.social just said: Wood chipper, feet first.
I see the “technically it’s ephebophelia” crowd is out today, so just a reminder that A) this is NOT a case where technically correct is the best kind of correct and B) the minute you say this, the gods dump you in the “irredeemable creeper” basket and wash their hands thoroughly after touching you.
November 13, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Cosigned. As @pattonoswalt.bsky.social just said: Wood chipper, feet first.
mochas feelin chipper and nice after a great momocon weekend :)
May 25, 2026 at 1:55 PM
mochas feelin chipper and nice after a great momocon weekend :)
*Cue slideshow of Junip being the most chipper and likeable guy in the cafe*
November 22, 2024 at 11:58 PM
*Cue slideshow of Junip being the most chipper and likeable guy in the cafe*
Slip into the Wood Chipper
April 12, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Slip into the Wood Chipper
This is a grotesquely chipper headline
January 26, 2024 at 1:24 PM
This is a grotesquely chipper headline
Another support beam of our free society falls into the nonconstitutional wood chipper of qualified immunity
The Supreme Court refuses to review an odious 5th Circuit decision granting qualified immunity to Texas officials who arrested a citizens-journalist in retaliation against her posing questions to public officials. Sotomayor has an appropriately furious dissent: www.supremecourt.gov/orders/court...
March 23, 2026 at 2:02 PM
Another support beam of our free society falls into the nonconstitutional wood chipper of qualified immunity
Wood chipper, feet first, slowly, all of them
Prince Andrew watched as Ghislaine tortured 6 year old girl with shock collar, FBI report shows. The session, arranged by Epstein, occurred in Surrey. www.mirror.co.uk/news/royals/...
Andrew accused of watching young girl be 'tortured with electrical shocks'
A FBI report alleges the former prince watched as a girl aged six to eight years old was 'tortured with electrical shocks' by Ghislaine Maxwell, with Andrew denying all wrongdoing
www.mirror.co.uk
February 20, 2026 at 10:02 PM
Wood chipper, feet first, slowly, all of them
Gosh, Wall Street was looking so chipper this morning.
FFS
FFS
April 8, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Gosh, Wall Street was looking so chipper this morning.
FFS
FFS
“timeline cleanse,” I whisper to myself as I swan dive into a wood chipper
June 24, 2025 at 3:22 AM
“timeline cleanse,” I whisper to myself as I swan dive into a wood chipper
I’ll fire up the chipper
September 29, 2026 at 12:03 PM
I’ll fire up the chipper
*throwing Smurfs into wood chipper*
Crowd: It’s a boy!
Crowd: It’s a boy!
April 4, 2025 at 1:07 AM
*throwing Smurfs into wood chipper*
Crowd: It’s a boy!
Crowd: It’s a boy!
Judge temporarily overturns child-to-wood chipper order
September 24, 2026 at 9:37 AM
Judge temporarily overturns child-to-wood chipper order
NEW—I got an exclusive excerpt from a USAID whistleblower's new book that made me gasp multiple times. It details Trump's dismantling of the humanitarian aid agency & his team/DOGE's shocking ignorance to public health.
'Into the Wood Chipper' by Nicholas Enrich is out tomorrow. Read excerpt here:
'Into the Wood Chipper' by Nicholas Enrich is out tomorrow. Read excerpt here:
Whistleblower says Trump officials thought USAID did 'just abortions,' asked for 'Barney-style' slides before gutting agency, per new book
Read an exclusive excerpt from Nicholas Enrich's "Into the Wood Chipper"
www.thehandbasket.co
April 14, 2026 at 12:34 AM
NEW—I got an exclusive excerpt from a USAID whistleblower's new book that made me gasp multiple times. It details Trump's dismantling of the humanitarian aid agency & his team/DOGE's shocking ignorance to public health.
'Into the Wood Chipper' by Nicholas Enrich is out tomorrow. Read excerpt here:
'Into the Wood Chipper' by Nicholas Enrich is out tomorrow. Read excerpt here:
Isn't the gingerbread barn @taystrom.bsky.social and I made cute? 🥰🎄🎅
December 7, 2024 at 6:02 AM
Isn't the gingerbread barn @taystrom.bsky.social and I made cute? 🥰🎄🎅
Chipper and sleepy Lux Lady By @mysticwaffle.bsky.social !
August 19, 2025 at 3:34 AM
Chipper and sleepy Lux Lady By @mysticwaffle.bsky.social !
years of people begging this guy to understand that the “don’t feed kids into a wood chipper” bill includes a provision that mandates feeding kids into a wood chipper and he just doesn’t care. he’s either stupid, senile, or bought. gotta go
Children are being exploited and abused because Big Tech consistently prioritizes profits over people.
Enough is enough. Time to sunset Section 230.
Enough is enough. Time to sunset Section 230.
December 19, 2025 at 3:00 AM
years of people begging this guy to understand that the “don’t feed kids into a wood chipper” bill includes a provision that mandates feeding kids into a wood chipper and he just doesn’t care. he’s either stupid, senile, or bought. gotta go
Into the wood chipper....
March 17, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Into the wood chipper....
you can fit every trillionaire in the world into a single wood chipper
June 13, 2026 at 12:41 AM
you can fit every trillionaire in the world into a single wood chipper
your energy actually is finite and spending time fighting about the former president while the current president is putting this country in a wood chipper seems like a bad use of it
May 19, 2025 at 1:39 AM
your energy actually is finite and spending time fighting about the former president while the current president is putting this country in a wood chipper seems like a bad use of it
This reminds me how I’ve been teaming up with wood chipper companies to build literacy in throwing myself into a wood chipper.
The country’s largest teachers unions are teaming up with tech companies like Microsoft and OpenAI to help educators build literacy in artificial intelligence.
Big Tech is paying millions to train teachers on AI, in a push to bring chatbots into classrooms
The country’s largest teachers unions are teaming up with tech companies like Microsoft and OpenAI to help educators build literacy in artificial intelligence.
bit.ly
October 18, 2025 at 1:19 PM
This reminds me how I’ve been teaming up with wood chipper companies to build literacy in throwing myself into a wood chipper.
chipper! for @thechillingblade.bsky.social! thank you! 💙
August 2, 2025 at 4:08 AM
chipper! for @thechillingblade.bsky.social! thank you! 💙