Uninformed Citizen Scrambling To Research Last 2,500 Years Of Democracy Before Voting https://theonion.com/uninformed-citizen-scrambling-to-research-last-2500-years-of-democracy-before-voting/
November 3, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Uninformed Citizen Scrambling To Research Last 2,500 Years Of Democracy Before Voting https://theonion.com/uninformed-citizen-scrambling-to-research-last-2500-years-of-democracy-before-voting/
You are not a Customer. You are a Citizen, with Sacred Duties.
November 1, 2026 at 11:59 AM
You are not a Customer. You are a Citizen, with Sacred Duties.
Ummm, he is an American citizen…
November 1, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Ummm, he is an American citizen…
Neoliberalism turns the citizen into the customer and many socialists are too afraid of what happens when you tell the customer they're actually a citizen
Great retort to the natural endpoint of treating voters like consumers not citizens, Polanski's "Tax Wealth, Not Work"
October 31, 2026 at 10:26 AM
Neoliberalism turns the citizen into the customer and many socialists are too afraid of what happens when you tell the customer they're actually a citizen
I'm just a civically engaged citizen sir
November 3, 2026 at 8:07 PM
I'm just a civically engaged citizen sir
If you're a U.S. Citizen and you haven't voted yet, GO VOTE
November 3, 2026 at 1:02 PM
If you're a U.S. Citizen and you haven't voted yet, GO VOTE
Hello, Bluesky!
Order of operations today:
1. Vote (if you're a US citizen and have not yet)!
2. Reward yourself for voting with a copy of Monsters of Ohio, which is OUT TODAY
3. Enjoy!
(Not a US citizen? Skip to step 2; reward yourself for being alive in the world)
Order of operations today:
1. Vote (if you're a US citizen and have not yet)!
2. Reward yourself for voting with a copy of Monsters of Ohio, which is OUT TODAY
3. Enjoy!
(Not a US citizen? Skip to step 2; reward yourself for being alive in the world)
November 3, 2026 at 12:27 PM
Hello, Bluesky!
Order of operations today:
1. Vote (if you're a US citizen and have not yet)!
2. Reward yourself for voting with a copy of Monsters of Ohio, which is OUT TODAY
3. Enjoy!
(Not a US citizen? Skip to step 2; reward yourself for being alive in the world)
Order of operations today:
1. Vote (if you're a US citizen and have not yet)!
2. Reward yourself for voting with a copy of Monsters of Ohio, which is OUT TODAY
3. Enjoy!
(Not a US citizen? Skip to step 2; reward yourself for being alive in the world)
Honoring my duty as an American citizen.
November 3, 2026 at 2:06 PM
Honoring my duty as an American citizen.
Does this mean I'm a dual citizen now?
November 2, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Does this mean I'm a dual citizen now?
Be a good U.S. citizen and vote today.
November 3, 2026 at 2:41 PM
Be a good U.S. citizen and vote today.
Oooh! Oooh!
Is it because he's a citizen?
This is the reason I'm NOT allowed to vote, because I am not a citizen.
I heard that complaint, that no other Pope had voted. Rolled my eyes.
Is it because he's a citizen?
This is the reason I'm NOT allowed to vote, because I am not a citizen.
I heard that complaint, that no other Pope had voted. Rolled my eyes.
November 1, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Oooh! Oooh!
Is it because he's a citizen?
This is the reason I'm NOT allowed to vote, because I am not a citizen.
I heard that complaint, that no other Pope had voted. Rolled my eyes.
Is it because he's a citizen?
This is the reason I'm NOT allowed to vote, because I am not a citizen.
I heard that complaint, that no other Pope had voted. Rolled my eyes.
Dear consultants,
Republicans are worshipping Darth Vader and beating off to gender swapped Malfoy, can we call them weird yet or nah?
-A concerned citizen
Republicans are worshipping Darth Vader and beating off to gender swapped Malfoy, can we call them weird yet or nah?
-A concerned citizen
November 3, 2026 at 12:00 PM
Dear consultants,
Republicans are worshipping Darth Vader and beating off to gender swapped Malfoy, can we call them weird yet or nah?
-A concerned citizen
Republicans are worshipping Darth Vader and beating off to gender swapped Malfoy, can we call them weird yet or nah?
-A concerned citizen
If Ohio isn't a state then JD Vance isn't a citizen. Alert ICE immediately!
November 3, 2026 at 3:49 AM
If Ohio isn't a state then JD Vance isn't a citizen. Alert ICE immediately!
If you're a US citizen you can skip step two I GUESS but absolutely do not skip step one. Get out there and vote, y'all.
November 3, 2026 at 12:31 PM
If you're a US citizen you can skip step two I GUESS but absolutely do not skip step one. Get out there and vote, y'all.
As a US citizen too, I promise I won't.
While we don’t get a ballot, we do get a bill.
US Elections, midterms or otherwise, impact the rest of the world disproportionally.
So from all of us here in the UK:
Please don’t fuck it up.
US Elections, midterms or otherwise, impact the rest of the world disproportionally.
So from all of us here in the UK:
Please don’t fuck it up.
Dear America: Your Midterms Are Our Problem Too
An election-day appeal from across the Atlantic. Please sort yourselves out. We don’t get a ballot, but we do get the bill, and we can’t afford it any more
www.bearlypolitics.co.uk
November 3, 2026 at 9:11 AM
As a US citizen too, I promise I won't.
WOOT WOOT!!! I'm a November citizen. 😊
First of the month shout to all the folks cruising the Blue skies with me. I don’t auto follow but glad to have you along. And Happy Birthday to all November born citizens and friends of Romancelandia. Celebrate yourself! Dance on a table top! Get some cake! You are worthy 24/7-365! Believe it!
November 3, 2026 at 3:55 AM
WOOT WOOT!!! I'm a November citizen. 😊
I voted twice today, and I'm not even a US citizen
November 3, 2026 at 5:22 PM
I voted twice today, and I'm not even a US citizen
Presumably a goof, but this must be driving the "sovereign citizen/Ohio wasn't ratified" people nuts.
November 2, 2026 at 7:34 PM
Presumably a goof, but this must be driving the "sovereign citizen/Ohio wasn't ratified" people nuts.
To every US citizen: PLEASE VOTE PLEASE VOTE
November 1, 2026 at 4:21 PM
To every US citizen: PLEASE VOTE PLEASE VOTE
I can’t vote because I’m not a citizen yet, but if you can, please do it. 🥺
November 3, 2026 at 2:07 PM
I can’t vote because I’m not a citizen yet, but if you can, please do it. 🥺
No the hell he did not this nigga is NOT a US citizen [ @0lightsource.bsky.social ]
November 3, 2026 at 10:19 PM
No the hell he did not this nigga is NOT a US citizen [ @0lightsource.bsky.social ]
A dentist from Ontario married a U.S. citizen, performed dentistry in "shortage areas" and was pursuing lawful status when ICE arrested him based on erroneous paperwork.
Judge Mike Davis said the "hubris" and "appalling" facts justify immediate release.
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Judge Mike Davis said the "hubris" and "appalling" facts justify immediate release.
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
November 1, 2026 at 11:15 PM
A dentist from Ontario married a U.S. citizen, performed dentistry in "shortage areas" and was pursuing lawful status when ICE arrested him based on erroneous paperwork.
Judge Mike Davis said the "hubris" and "appalling" facts justify immediate release.
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Judge Mike Davis said the "hubris" and "appalling" facts justify immediate release.
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Well, he is a US citizen and it is his civic duty. 🤷♀️
Pope Leo XIV becomes the first pope in history to vote in a U.S. election, submitting a mail-in ballot in Chicago ahead of the midterms.
Pope Leo XIV has become the first pope in history to vote in a US election
Pope Leo XIV has become the first pope in history to vote in a U.S. election. The Vatican on Friday confirmed the Chicago-born Leo submitted a mail-in ballot in Chicago ahead of the November midterm election.
bit.ly
October 30, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Well, he is a US citizen and it is his civic duty. 🤷♀️