🚨 BREAKING — U.S. Government accidentally approves war against itself.
Pentagon confused. Congress claps.
“We thought it was a Fortnite update,” says unnamed source from the Department of Defense.
#FiltheeWire #FakeButTrue #CongressOfClowns
filthee.news

🇺🇸 #FiltheeWire | BREAKING
Judge Boasberg halts deportation flights mid-air.
Trump replies: “If they're past Bermuda, they don’t count.”
Pentagon adds: “Gravity is a state-level issue.”
El Salvador tweets: “Too late broskis 😂”

#OnlyInAmerica #Boasberg #FiltheeNews #news
filthee.news

🚨 BREAKING — Elon Musk officially declares Neuralink a religion.
Dogmas include “Free Speech Is A Chip” and “Thou Shalt Not Short Tesla.”
Vatican expresses interest in merger.
#FiltheeWire #NeuroVatican #FakeButTrue #Musk #news
filthee.news

🚨 BREAKING — CIA launches new AI-powered psychic bot named “Oracle-13.”
It’s already depressed, claims it saw humanity’s future and asked to be unplugged.
Available on iOS. Android pending “spiritual consent.”
#FiltheeWire #AIApocalypse #FakeButTrue #news #CIA
filthee.news

BREAKING: @4chan elected as provisional government of the United States after ChatGPT refused to summarize the Constitution without bias. Anon council to decide new national anthem via poll.

#FiltheeWire #AltReality #4chan #DeepLeaks #news #Satire #deepstate #ChatGPT
filthee.news

BREAKING: Hunter Biden spotted near CERN holding a bucket labeled 'neural ash'. Inside? Hillary’s old consciousness. Phase 3 has begun.
#QAnon #NeuralLeak #FiltheeWire #news #Biden #deepstate
filthee.news

🇺🇸 #FiltheeWire | BREAKING
Judge Boasberg halts deportation flights mid-air.
Trump replies: “If they're past Bermuda, they don’t count.”
Pentagon adds: “Gravity is a state-level issue.”
El Salvador tweets: “Too late broskis 😂”

#OnlyInAmerica #Boasberg #FiltheeNews #news
filthee.news