In a functional democracy, he would offer his resignation tonight.
March 31, 2026 at 2:23 AM
In a functional democracy, he would offer his resignation tonight.
I’m so jealous. Must be nice having a functional high court.
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
November 26, 2025 at 4:18 PM
I’m so jealous. Must be nice having a functional high court.
I’ve started watching the West Wing again because I need to watch some functional government.
August 17, 2025 at 2:25 AM
I’ve started watching the West Wing again because I need to watch some functional government.
fellas, is it gay to have a functional modern economy?
April 7, 2025 at 10:21 PM
fellas, is it gay to have a functional modern economy?
And Twitter used to be functional
October 17, 2024 at 3:05 AM
And Twitter used to be functional
OR....Just call for a special election! If he's alive and functional, he'll get ahold of you! If not....hes not alive or functional and the election will go ahead. Solution!!!!!...
July 22, 2026 at 6:30 PM
OR....Just call for a special election! If he's alive and functional, he'll get ahold of you! If not....hes not alive or functional and the election will go ahead. Solution!!!!!...
No One In James Taylor Audience Has Functional Enough Knees To Give Standing Ovation theonion.com/no-one-...
July 25, 2025 at 9:00 PM
No One In James Taylor Audience Has Functional Enough Knees To Give Standing Ovation theonion.com/no-one-...
⛏️ functional blocks and their UI
May 13, 2025 at 12:19 AM
⛏️ functional blocks and their UI
Man Just Going To Assume Apartment Has Functional Carbon Monoxide Detector Somewhere https://theonion.com/man-just-going-to-assume-apartment-has-functional-carbo-1819575839/
November 19, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Man Just Going To Assume Apartment Has Functional Carbon Monoxide Detector Somewhere https://theonion.com/man-just-going-to-assume-apartment-has-functional-carbo-1819575839/
We are at North Korea levels of corruption. We are no longer a functional democracy.
June 30, 2026 at 4:25 PM
We are at North Korea levels of corruption. We are no longer a functional democracy.
was DEIA singlehandedly keeping planes functional what the hell is going on
JUST IN: Japan Airlines plane hits Delta Air Lines jet while taxiing at Seattle Airport
February 5, 2025 at 9:08 PM
was DEIA singlehandedly keeping planes functional what the hell is going on
I miss having a functional SEC. I really do.
Allbirds stock tumbles after nearly 600% rally as the shoemaker rebrands as an AI company
Allbirds stock tumbles after nearly 600% rally as the shoemaker rebrands as an AI company
Allbirds is getting out of the sustainable sneaker business and into the AI business.
yhoo.it
April 16, 2026 at 8:15 PM
I miss having a functional SEC. I really do.
A full third of registered voters failed a freakin open book test because THEY ARE FUNCTIONAL ILLITERATES and TREASONOUS IDIOTS
August 19, 2026 at 4:52 AM
A full third of registered voters failed a freakin open book test because THEY ARE FUNCTIONAL ILLITERATES and TREASONOUS IDIOTS
New York has a higher per-capita income, a lower crime rate and a functional insurance system.
Bessent: "We want the US to be more like Florida and less like New York"
May 29, 2025 at 10:28 PM
New York has a higher per-capita income, a lower crime rate and a functional insurance system.
jfc Bluesky needs a functional comm team.
November 15, 2025 at 4:36 PM
jfc Bluesky needs a functional comm team.
As Promised:
part 1
Least functional kitchen ever !
part 1
Least functional kitchen ever !
December 2, 2025 at 1:46 AM
As Promised:
part 1
Least functional kitchen ever !
part 1
Least functional kitchen ever !
It’s the “he is a functional alcoholic” defense.
COLLINS: How's the bad behavior of a senator a defense of someone who wants to run the Pentagon?
MULLIN: It's not. What I was trying to get to is if you're capable of doing your job and you're able to still drink on the job or late in the evening, don't tell me that Pete can't
MULLIN: It's not. What I was trying to get to is if you're capable of doing your job and you're able to still drink on the job or late in the evening, don't tell me that Pete can't
January 15, 2025 at 2:14 AM
It’s the “he is a functional alcoholic” defense.
A functional country would shut Grok down permanently. Like, immediately. Right now. Last week. Whatever. Just flip the switch. Obviously.
January 4, 2026 at 10:52 PM
A functional country would shut Grok down permanently. Like, immediately. Right now. Last week. Whatever. Just flip the switch. Obviously.
There is no functional difference between people looking for rampant voter fraud and ghost hunters.
BREAKING NYT:
A month after the Trump admin declared without evidence that thousands of noncitizens had illegally registered to vote in Nevada, DHS officials were unable to substantiate the claim — finding just 185 potential anomalies, not the 16,000 claimed last month.
A month after the Trump admin declared without evidence that thousands of noncitizens had illegally registered to vote in Nevada, DHS officials were unable to substantiate the claim — finding just 185 potential anomalies, not the 16,000 claimed last month.
Homeland Security Unable to Prove That Thousands of Noncitizens Registered to Vote in Nevada
The Department of Homeland Security told Nevada election officials that it identified 185 “potential” noncitizens on the state’s voter rolls, not the nearly 16,000 it claimed last month.
www.nytimes.com
August 20, 2026 at 10:47 PM
There is no functional difference between people looking for rampant voter fraud and ghost hunters.
America is a less functional Democracy than South Korea, and this vote proves it.
190 present, 190 voted to DEMAND END TO MARTIAL LAW DECLARATION
December 3, 2024 at 4:36 PM
America is a less functional Democracy than South Korea, and this vote proves it.
The real Super Bowl MVP was that chiron. Minimal, functional, bold, accessible.
February 10, 2025 at 3:37 AM
The real Super Bowl MVP was that chiron. Minimal, functional, bold, accessible.
Yup. Functional government is anathema to conservatives.
Thune on the filibuster: "Throughout history, it has protected Republicans and conservative priorities and principles a lot more often than it has protected Democrats"
March 17, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Yup. Functional government is anathema to conservatives.
If this were true, we would have a functional passenger rail system
one thing that has slightly slipped through the cracks is that yesterday Trump said that 9,982 out of every 10,000 people are autistic
July 5, 2025 at 1:59 AM
If this were true, we would have a functional passenger rail system
Just a reminder: having a functional moral compass right now is going to make you feel bad all the time; don’t mistakenly hate yourself for that.
March 24, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Just a reminder: having a functional moral compass right now is going to make you feel bad all the time; don’t mistakenly hate yourself for that.
"I want your children's lungs to be smaller and less functional" is a bold electoral strategy.
August 31, 2026 at 9:13 AM
"I want your children's lungs to be smaller and less functional" is a bold electoral strategy.