FBI Claims Gavel, Black Gowns Prove Ties To MS-13 Gang
theonion.com/fbi-cla...
theonion.com/fbi-cla...
April 28, 2025 at 10:00 PM
FBI Claims Gavel, Black Gowns Prove Ties To MS-13 Gang
theonion.com/fbi-cla...
theonion.com/fbi-cla...
Mike Johnson Struggles To Hold Speaker Gavel While Wearing Anti-Masturbation Mitts https://theonion.com/mike-johnson-struggles-to-hold-speaker-gavel-while-wearing-anti-masturbation-mitts/
July 21, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Mike Johnson Struggles To Hold Speaker Gavel While Wearing Anti-Masturbation Mitts https://theonion.com/mike-johnson-struggles-to-hold-speaker-gavel-while-wearing-anti-masturbation-mitts/
a discount of 15% off is not a Black Friday sale <bangs gavel>
November 24, 2024 at 5:03 PM
a discount of 15% off is not a Black Friday sale <bangs gavel>
Let’s all call Massie today and get him to switch parties. Then force Gonzalez to resign. Then get the gavel, issue some subpoenas, and impeach some motherfuckers
March 1, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Let’s all call Massie today and get him to switch parties. Then force Gonzalez to resign. Then get the gavel, issue some subpoenas, and impeach some motherfuckers
Mike Johnson Struggles To Hold Speaker Gavel While Wearing Anti-Masturbation Mitts
Mike Johnson Struggles To Hold Speaker Gavel While Wearing Anti-Masturbation Mitts
WASHINGTON—Apologizing to his fellow congressmen after he fumbled the wooden handle for the fifth time in a row, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson was observed struggling to hold his speaker gavel Tue...
theonion.com
July 25, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Mike Johnson Struggles To Hold Speaker Gavel While Wearing Anti-Masturbation Mitts
"I'd like to gavel in today's board meeting of the American Medical Association...."
April 13, 2026 at 6:52 PM
"I'd like to gavel in today's board meeting of the American Medical Association...."
It’s going to happen!
Speaker Johnson will lose the gavel before midterms.
Speaker Johnson will lose the gavel before midterms.
December 1, 2025 at 2:37 AM
It’s going to happen!
Speaker Johnson will lose the gavel before midterms.
Speaker Johnson will lose the gavel before midterms.
nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel
December 21, 2025 at 5:28 AM
nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel
9 House Republicans could choose to take away Johnson’s gavel today if they wanted.
December 4, 2025 at 5:00 PM
9 House Republicans could choose to take away Johnson’s gavel today if they wanted.
One of the biggest mistakes Dems made in transition is in not having Jack Smith testify openly about Jan6 before Durbin lost his gavel.
December 18, 2025 at 12:08 AM
One of the biggest mistakes Dems made in transition is in not having Jack Smith testify openly about Jan6 before Durbin lost his gavel.
Chuck Grassley melancholically banging his gavel during this tirade is very funny.
Booker eviscerates Patel: "He's like an 18 year old kid who wants to join a fraternity that he could never be a member of, doing keg stands and chugging with friends. He's an embarrassment. He is a disgrace. This is a mockery and a sham. What's bad are the people enabling him."
September 15, 2026 at 10:50 PM
Chuck Grassley melancholically banging his gavel during this tirade is very funny.
Massive defeat for Mike Johnson. Still has to clear the senate, but this is what Dems wanted all along. Johnson has essentially lost control of the gavel after Epstein and now this. Weakest speaker in history.
December 17, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Massive defeat for Mike Johnson. Still has to clear the senate, but this is what Dems wanted all along. Johnson has essentially lost control of the gavel after Epstein and now this. Weakest speaker in history.
Gavel drop.
April 2, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Gavel drop.
Final verdict after every Portfolio Day: Hire everyone now.
Woman's Gavel Pound at Podium
Alt: Woman's Gavel Pound at Podium
static.klipy.com
July 14, 2026 at 8:34 PM
Final verdict after every Portfolio Day: Hire everyone now.
Le Pen proves less mighty than le gavel.
March 31, 2025 at 8:04 AM
Le Pen proves less mighty than le gavel.
Okay, pass the gavel Schumer. It's time.
April 1, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Okay, pass the gavel Schumer. It's time.
UGLY! < slams gavel >
When @andreagrimes.com pitched this week's piece about loving ugly shoes, we started talking about tabis and how controversial they are. What do y'all think? Are they ugly or cute?
July 7, 2026 at 9:56 PM
UGLY! < slams gavel >
*bangs gavel*
January 18, 2025 at 6:36 PM
*bangs gavel*
A new mural by elusive street artist Banksy showing a judge beating an unarmed protester with a gavel will be removed from a wall outside one of London’s most iconic courts /AP
September 9, 2025 at 3:00 AM
A new mural by elusive street artist Banksy showing a judge beating an unarmed protester with a gavel will be removed from a wall outside one of London’s most iconic courts /AP
Scalise: If Democrats get back the gavel, the first thing they will do is impeach President Trump and his cabinet.
*5-7 people boo*
*5-7 people boo*
September 9, 2026 at 9:20 PM
Scalise: If Democrats get back the gavel, the first thing they will do is impeach President Trump and his cabinet.
*5-7 people boo*
*5-7 people boo*
*judge brandishes gavel*
*duel of the fates plays*
*judge brandishes second gavel*
KORAH RAHTAHTAH
*duel of the fates plays*
*judge brandishes second gavel*
KORAH RAHTAHTAH
October 1, 2026 at 9:04 PM
*judge brandishes gavel*
*duel of the fates plays*
*judge brandishes second gavel*
KORAH RAHTAHTAH
*duel of the fates plays*
*judge brandishes second gavel*
KORAH RAHTAHTAH
I’m allowed to make this joke bc I’m from Omaha *bangs gavel*
April 4, 2026 at 7:08 PM
I’m allowed to make this joke bc I’m from Omaha *bangs gavel*
It is not the Democrats’ responsibility to bail out the Republicans, who are in the majority. They wanted the gavel, they should learn how to govern with it.
Can someone remind Elon which party is in the majority in the House?
December 20, 2024 at 12:40 AM
It is not the Democrats’ responsibility to bail out the Republicans, who are in the majority. They wanted the gavel, they should learn how to govern with it.
Democrats stand with Al Green after a vote to censure him passes. Mike Johnson bangs the gavel as they start to sing.
March 6, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Democrats stand with Al Green after a vote to censure him passes. Mike Johnson bangs the gavel as they start to sing.