Lapsed Cult Member Only Attends Sanctum On Major Bloodletting Holidays https://theonion.com/lapsed-cult-member-only-attends-sanctum-on-major-bloodl-1819576134/
December 10, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Lapsed Cult Member Only Attends Sanctum On Major Bloodletting Holidays https://theonion.com/lapsed-cult-member-only-attends-sanctum-on-major-bloodl-1819576134/
Gm to all my fellow lapsed Catholics having a chuckle this morning
July 2, 2026 at 2:08 PM
Gm to all my fellow lapsed Catholics having a chuckle this morning
Trust me, even us lapsed Catholics are.
June 30, 2026 at 11:47 PM
Trust me, even us lapsed Catholics are.
I'm a lapsed Catholic, but ...
February 18, 2025 at 6:47 PM
I'm a lapsed Catholic, but ...
You know things are getting weird when the lapsed Catholics are defending the Pope.
Christ on a bike….
Christ on a bike….
April 15, 2026 at 8:57 PM
You know things are getting weird when the lapsed Catholics are defending the Pope.
Christ on a bike….
Christ on a bike….
Congrats to our woke, poster American president. There’s still hope for this lapsed Catholic.
May 8, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Congrats to our woke, poster American president. There’s still hope for this lapsed Catholic.
All lapsed Catholics are activating like sleeper agents
April 10, 2026 at 11:57 PM
All lapsed Catholics are activating like sleeper agents
Ecological destruction now recognized as sins against creation and the Creator? Fuck yeah, hook that shit to my badly lapsed veins!
WAKE UP, THE INQUISITION JUST DROPPED A NEW SIN www.americamagazine.org/news/2026/09...
Vatican theological commission defines ‘sin against creation and the Creator’ in new document
The more than 29,000 word text calls for ecological conversion due to “sin against creation and the Creator.”
www.americamagazine.org
September 3, 2026 at 7:34 PM
Ecological destruction now recognized as sins against creation and the Creator? Fuck yeah, hook that shit to my badly lapsed veins!
I was raised catholic and I'm obviously very lapsed but she's still pissing me off!!!!
July 28, 2026 at 6:23 PM
I was raised catholic and I'm obviously very lapsed but she's still pissing me off!!!!
Millions of lapsed Catholics realizing that they have become realigned with the Pope against their will
April 15, 2026 at 12:18 PM
Millions of lapsed Catholics realizing that they have become realigned with the Pope against their will
as a lapsed catholic poptimist etc... i feel like this is a key that unlocked something deep
Thank YOU. I believe profoundly that the only correct response to pleasure is gratitude rather than guilt
September 29, 2026 at 9:55 PM
as a lapsed catholic poptimist etc... i feel like this is a key that unlocked something deep
I’m just a long-lapsed lawyer, but fellas: either there’s a conviction on a criminal charge or there’s not.
REPORTER: The vice president said he was a convicted member of MS-13. What evidence is there to back that up?
LEAVITT: There's a lot of evidence. DHS and ICE have that evidence and I saw it this morning."
LEAVITT: There's a lot of evidence. DHS and ICE have that evidence and I saw it this morning."
April 1, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I’m just a long-lapsed lawyer, but fellas: either there’s a conviction on a criminal charge or there’s not.
lol "lapsed medievalist" in bio
September 18, 2026 at 8:02 PM
lol "lapsed medievalist" in bio
average lapsed catholic when they see a tradcath convert
September 22, 2026 at 4:46 PM
average lapsed catholic when they see a tradcath convert
lapsed catgirl is an incredible bit
September 30, 2026 at 1:51 AM
lapsed catgirl is an incredible bit
Shout out to all the other lapsed Catholics absolutely thriving this morning
April 21, 2025 at 9:08 AM
Shout out to all the other lapsed Catholics absolutely thriving this morning
I was a catgirl for years im just lapsed
September 30, 2026 at 1:47 AM
I was a catgirl for years im just lapsed
Multiracial democracy in the American South has briefly existed twice in American history, both times enforced from outside, and both times has lapsed the instant the rest of the country lost interest.
It's official: Louisiana's Republican governor just suspended state congressional elections so lawmakers can pass a new gerrymandered map first.
April 30, 2026 at 10:43 PM
Multiracial democracy in the American South has briefly existed twice in American history, both times enforced from outside, and both times has lapsed the instant the rest of the country lost interest.
Restaurant for lapsed vegetarians called We’ll meat Again.
June 29, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Restaurant for lapsed vegetarians called We’ll meat Again.
as a lapsed catholic, i think that’s a pretty solid idea
Cant the pope just excommunicate any catholic ICE agents who participate in this shit?
June 21, 2025 at 3:44 AM
as a lapsed catholic, i think that’s a pretty solid idea
virulently anti-Catholic lapsed Catholic here: It's of actual geopolitical significance that the Catholic Church is talking like this this time around with these pigs. It wasn't like that 90 years ago.
“Jesus doesn’t hear the prayers of those who wage war.” — Pope Leo XIV
September 20, 2026 at 4:41 PM
virulently anti-Catholic lapsed Catholic here: It's of actual geopolitical significance that the Catholic Church is talking like this this time around with these pigs. It wasn't like that 90 years ago.
JUST NOW: 17 republicans voted with Dems to restore lapsed Obamacare subsidies and keep health care costs from skyrocketing. (0 from Tennessee)
www.politico.com/news/2026/01...
www.politico.com/news/2026/01...
January 8, 2026 at 11:13 PM
JUST NOW: 17 republicans voted with Dems to restore lapsed Obamacare subsidies and keep health care costs from skyrocketing. (0 from Tennessee)
www.politico.com/news/2026/01...
www.politico.com/news/2026/01...
Adopting St Rat into my immensely lapsed Catholic world view
my brother & his partner are telling me an insane story about this local deity called "st. rat" which is apparently a mosaic relief put up by some queers in seattle. the city kept trying to paint over it, but people would repeatedly just use acetone and remove the paint until the city gave up
July 6, 2026 at 6:24 AM
Adopting St Rat into my immensely lapsed Catholic world view
Got myself a library membership card this morning. I used to have one for many years from when I was a kid, but lapsed during the COVID lockdowns. I'm a big fan of libraries. 🧪
March 7, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Got myself a library membership card this morning. I used to have one for many years from when I was a kid, but lapsed during the COVID lockdowns. I'm a big fan of libraries. 🧪
Converts. Cradle Catholics (even ridiculously lapsed ones like me) know.😏
American conservative politician Clare Boothe Luce converted to Catholicism in 1946.
In a 1953 meeting with Pope Pius XII, she was fiercely lecturing the pontiff on the Church's moral duty to fight communism when the Pope finally interrupted her.
"You know, Mrs. Ambassador, I am a Catholic too."
In a 1953 meeting with Pope Pius XII, she was fiercely lecturing the pontiff on the Church's moral duty to fight communism when the Pope finally interrupted her.
"You know, Mrs. Ambassador, I am a Catholic too."
April 15, 2026 at 10:36 AM
Converts. Cradle Catholics (even ridiculously lapsed ones like me) know.😏