#MarkoTheComic
I've been writing my novel on sandpaper.
It's just a rough draft.
#joke #novel #writing #comedy #humor #MarkoTheComic
December 6, 2024 at 5:43 PM
If you don’t get enough sleep it can feel just like jet-lag, but you save money on airfare.
#airplan #sleep #jetlag #joke #humor #comedy #MarkoTheComic #comdian #chicagocomedian
December 13, 2024 at 8:23 PM
I tend to overthink things, which results in me making incredibly well thought out mistakes.
#overthink #mistakes #joke #humor #comedy #MarkoTheComic #comedian
December 9, 2024 at 7:16 PM
I hate moving, especially if it’s from the couch
#joke #humor #laugh #comedy #MarkoTheComic
December 17, 2024 at 10:47 PM
We live in an age of abundance, too bad there’s not enough of it to go around. #poverty #abundance #joke #comedy #laughter #comic #money #consumerism #MarkoTheComic
January 2, 2025 at 4:53 PM
There’s something strangely old-fashioned about passports, I feel like at this point we should just be using our phones, although admittedly the stamp might break the screen.
#cellphone #passport #joke #humor #comedy #laugh #MarkoTheComic
December 2, 2024 at 4:27 PM
When you’re a dog, the whole world is an escape room.
#dog #humor #joke #comedy #comedian #escaperoom #MarkoTheComic
November 27, 2024 at 6:55 PM
I love a good sunrise, especially if no one wakes me up to see it. #joke #humor #comedy #sunrise #sleep #MarkoTheComic
November 25, 2024 at 4:55 PM
Sometimes I feel like ice cream. Especially when I’m cold and someone is licking me.
#icecream #lick #joke #humor #laughter #comedy #MarkoTheComic
December 5, 2024 at 9:43 PM
I usually choose the British voice on my GPS. It makes me feel more confident about driving on the wrong side of the road.
#GPS #joke #comedy #humor #MarkoTheComic
November 30, 2024 at 5:40 PM
The only thing more fun than fiddling while Rome burns or rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic is playing chess with my old friend, Cornholio.

#comedy #comedian #comic #markothecomic #cornholio #death #bergman #7thseal #fakead #satire #parody #chess
September 1, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Parents get a lot of conflicting advice but the most important thing to remember is, if you screw up your kid, you can always have more. #joke #comedy #parenting #humor #MarkoTheComic
November 22, 2024 at 6:36 PM
Branding started with cows but has spread to all products and services. The cows should have patented the idea when they had the chance.
#cow #branding #brand #joke #humor #patent #comedy #MarkoTheComic
December 10, 2024 at 6:02 PM
A smartphone isn’t really that smart when you compare it to a dumb human, which must make dumb humans feel very proud.
#smartphone #joke #humor #comedy #comedian #laugh #MarkoTheComic #f4f
December 1, 2024 at 4:37 PM
As a famous comedian, I'm sometimes asked to recover a golden Idol from a booby-trapped Peruvian temple. Both jobs require perfect timing, but I'd rather die on stage than in a musty cave.
#comedy #comedian #comic #markothecomic #indianajones #idol #gold #sidegig #satire #parody
September 2, 2025 at 1:43 PM
You know that extra pocket inside your front jeans pocket? It was originally for pocket watches. But people stopped using pocket watches when they realized they don’t fit in that stupid little pocket.
#joke #humor #comdey #pocketwatch #MarkoTheComic
November 26, 2024 at 10:05 PM
Grounds for Suspicion: Stalking?!?
The mystery of the lipstick stained Starbucks cup - MarkoTheComic #comedy #cartoon 
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August 20, 2026 at 3:07 PM
20% off subscription to MarkoTheComic substack!
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April 14, 2026 at 2:30 AM
March 14, 2026 at 11:31 PM
March 5, 2026 at 2:01 AM