Every tech company* has platform teams trying to build:
1. Heroku, except hand-rolled
2. One giant shared database, so engineers can ignore analytics without consequence
3. If they have a monolith, microservices. If microservices, a monolith
4. A solution to the halting problem
* Hyperbole. I hope
1. Heroku, except hand-rolled
2. One giant shared database, so engineers can ignore analytics without consequence
3. If they have a monolith, microservices. If microservices, a monolith
4. A solution to the halting problem
* Hyperbole. I hope
March 5, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Every tech company* has platform teams trying to build:
1. Heroku, except hand-rolled
2. One giant shared database, so engineers can ignore analytics without consequence
3. If they have a monolith, microservices. If microservices, a monolith
4. A solution to the halting problem
* Hyperbole. I hope
1. Heroku, except hand-rolled
2. One giant shared database, so engineers can ignore analytics without consequence
3. If they have a monolith, microservices. If microservices, a monolith
4. A solution to the halting problem
* Hyperbole. I hope
Microservices vs monoliths doesn't matter. Write modular code, abstract away services into reusable components, and combine them into one or more artifacts based on your needs.
October 25, 2024 at 4:57 PM
Microservices vs monoliths doesn't matter. Write modular code, abstract away services into reusable components, and combine them into one or more artifacts based on your needs.
what the fuck is the point of vibecoding microservices if they don’t fucking work
April 6, 2026 at 2:39 PM
what the fuck is the point of vibecoding microservices if they don’t fucking work
just, like, a lot of microservices, man
Oh wow hundreds of gigabits, that's like... the throughput of one suburban neighborhood block
August 13, 2024 at 12:45 AM
just, like, a lot of microservices, man
oh maybe that's why the site microservices are dying
@chrislhayes.bsky.social plugged Bluesky on his show just now.
November 13, 2024 at 1:58 AM
oh maybe that's why the site microservices are dying
I transponded the database onto quantum blockchain, removing microservices causing tachyon overload. Starlink now precaches dark matter RPC - rows now load at precognitive latency, up to 5000% faster!
March 15, 2025 at 3:51 AM
I transponded the database onto quantum blockchain, removing microservices causing tachyon overload. Starlink now precaches dark matter RPC - rows now load at precognitive latency, up to 5000% faster!
Microservices are the only real OO
April 23, 2024 at 7:46 PM
Microservices are the only real OO
types of computer software:
1. small units, hard to get tests to pass
2. small units glued together, passing less difficult
3. a large monoltih with flakes
4. like a sausage or snake
5. well defined microservices
6. poorly defined microservices
7. entirely liquid
i call it "the bristol tool chart"
1. small units, hard to get tests to pass
2. small units glued together, passing less difficult
3. a large monoltih with flakes
4. like a sausage or snake
5. well defined microservices
6. poorly defined microservices
7. entirely liquid
i call it "the bristol tool chart"
July 8, 2024 at 10:15 PM
types of computer software:
1. small units, hard to get tests to pass
2. small units glued together, passing less difficult
3. a large monoltih with flakes
4. like a sausage or snake
5. well defined microservices
6. poorly defined microservices
7. entirely liquid
i call it "the bristol tool chart"
1. small units, hard to get tests to pass
2. small units glued together, passing less difficult
3. a large monoltih with flakes
4. like a sausage or snake
5. well defined microservices
6. poorly defined microservices
7. entirely liquid
i call it "the bristol tool chart"
we are going to move US air travel to a microservices model so that if every third plane crashes we will still have as many planes in the air total
I’m definitely not getting on the Y Combinator Betaplane absolutely fucking not
February 19, 2025 at 1:14 AM
we are going to move US air travel to a microservices model so that if every third plane crashes we will still have as many planes in the air total
forget microservices. Anyone tried macroservices?
July 30, 2025 at 5:43 PM
forget microservices. Anyone tried macroservices?
New blog post! How Streamplace Works: No Microservices.
If you wanna run your own Streamplace, you can download one single file that has everything. You're welcome. Here's how we do that:
If you wanna run your own Streamplace, you can download one single file that has everything. You're welcome. Here's how we do that:
How Streamplace Works: No Microservices
Open-source is meaningless unless people can, y'know, actually run your software
blog.stream.place
August 9, 2025 at 11:08 PM
New blog post! How Streamplace Works: No Microservices.
If you wanna run your own Streamplace, you can download one single file that has everything. You're welcome. Here's how we do that:
If you wanna run your own Streamplace, you can download one single file that has everything. You're welcome. Here's how we do that:
I Shall Miss Making Crud Microservices
#programming #backend #devops #Ai #Techbubble
https://programmerhumor.io/ai-memes/i-shall-miss-making-crud-microservices-nvph
#programming #backend #devops #Ai #Techbubble
https://programmerhumor.io/ai-memes/i-shall-miss-making-crud-microservices-nvph
October 1, 2026 at 10:59 PM
I Shall Miss Making Crud Microservices
#programming #backend #devops #Ai #Techbubble
https://programmerhumor.io/ai-memes/i-shall-miss-making-crud-microservices-nvph
#programming #backend #devops #Ai #Techbubble
https://programmerhumor.io/ai-memes/i-shall-miss-making-crud-microservices-nvph
I don't like microservices I think microservices is bad idea and used for bad technology. I run one macroservice (built of PHP and Perl scripts) on an on-premises server and keep a Bible on the server rack in case things get dire
August 23, 2025 at 4:51 PM
I don't like microservices I think microservices is bad idea and used for bad technology. I run one macroservice (built of PHP and Perl scripts) on an on-premises server and keep a Bible on the server rack in case things get dire
i love discussing ontological models of distributed microservices via agentic workflows
October 24, 2025 at 1:58 PM
i love discussing ontological models of distributed microservices via agentic workflows
The recording of my talk "Goodbye Microservices, Hello Self-Contained Systems" at Voxxed Days Bucharest is online!
#SCS #Microservices #Architecture
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jjre...
#SCS #Microservices #Architecture
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jjre...
[VDBUH2025] Simon Martinelli - Goodbye Microservices, Hello Self-Contained Systems
YouTube video by Devoxx
www.youtube.com
April 17, 2025 at 6:46 AM
The recording of my talk "Goodbye Microservices, Hello Self-Contained Systems" at Voxxed Days Bucharest is online!
#SCS #Microservices #Architecture
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jjre...
#SCS #Microservices #Architecture
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jjre...
This is one of the most complete aspire samples I’ve seen so far.
#dotnet #aspire
github.com/foxminchan/B...
#dotnet #aspire
github.com/foxminchan/B...
GitHub - foxminchan/BookWorm: The practical implementation of .NET Aspire using Microservices
The practical implementation of .NET Aspire using Microservices - foxminchan/BookWorm
github.com
May 28, 2025 at 3:06 AM
This is one of the most complete aspire samples I’ve seen so far.
#dotnet #aspire
github.com/foxminchan/B...
#dotnet #aspire
github.com/foxminchan/B...
made a lil framework around this concept
github.com/trvswgnr/bun...
still not sure if it's a good idea
github.com/trvswgnr/bun...
still not sure if it's a good idea
November 25, 2024 at 8:09 PM
made a lil framework around this concept
github.com/trvswgnr/bun...
still not sure if it's a good idea
github.com/trvswgnr/bun...
still not sure if it's a good idea
Here's my problem with Microservices.
🧵 1/9
🧵 1/9
March 18, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Here's my problem with Microservices.
🧵 1/9
🧵 1/9
I believe that GOTO is the first conference to have my talk: "Microservices: where did it all go wrong?" up on YouTube: youtu.be/j2AQ9eTZ3-0?...
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Microservices, Where Did It All Go Wrong • Ian Cooper • GOTO 2024
YouTube video by GOTO Conferences
youtu.be
February 28, 2025 at 3:06 PM
I believe that GOTO is the first conference to have my talk: "Microservices: where did it all go wrong?" up on YouTube: youtu.be/j2AQ9eTZ3-0?...
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
I need a man with big arms and a mustache to teach me about microservices
October 21, 2023 at 9:18 PM
I need a man with big arms and a mustache to teach me about microservices
Don't jump into using microservices.
Let the problems drive that decision.
In reality, most of us will rarely justify the use of microservices.
Let the problems drive that decision.
In reality, most of us will rarely justify the use of microservices.
August 11, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Don't jump into using microservices.
Let the problems drive that decision.
In reality, most of us will rarely justify the use of microservices.
Let the problems drive that decision.
In reality, most of us will rarely justify the use of microservices.
So it's basically microservices but users instead. Neat!
October 20, 2024 at 9:36 PM
So it's basically microservices but users instead. Neat!
monolithic single-binary gender vs scalable containerized gender microservices
December 10, 2025 at 4:41 PM
monolithic single-binary gender vs scalable containerized gender microservices
Ah, the classic monolith -> microservices -> monolith
February 9, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Ah, the classic monolith -> microservices -> monolith