Frank did a quick scan and has become so very disconcerted. "Evidently there are two!" he said out loud. "Two what?" asked his wife from her corner of the settee. "#Bennetts!" he replied "Look!" Sure enough there they were, "Spot the typo!" #NewAlanBennett #NewAlanBennet

"Neville rolled his eyes as Mam reminded him next Sunday, we draw our Secret Santa.

‘Bicycle clips again,’thought Neville,’

#NewAlanBennet

"Fuck!" exploded Frank waving his tablet around "There's another. Look!" #NewAlanBennettMonologues He was right as usual which, as usual, pissed Marjory off every time. "It will have to be shortened.", but to whom should he complain? #NABM should do it he declared. #NewAlanBennett #NewAlanBennet

This year The Salvation Army band and choir began their traditional Christmas Carol medley, outside Dewhurts the butchers, with the full blooded uncensored version of Fairytale of New York, which was nice.

#NewAlanBennet