Study Finds There Aren’t Enough Occasions Where You Get To Eat Rolls https://theonion.com/study-finds-there-arent-enough-occasions-where-you-get-to-eat-rolls/
July 20, 2026 at 7:30 PM
Study Finds There Aren’t Enough Occasions Where You Get To Eat Rolls https://theonion.com/study-finds-there-arent-enough-occasions-where-you-get-to-eat-rolls/
On several occasions
omg it’s so embarrassing
omg it’s so embarrassing
'“As regards the Nobel Peace Prize, I have on several occasions clearly explained to Trump what is well known, namely that it is an independent Nobel Committee, and not the Norwegian government, that awards the prize,” [Norwegian Prime Minister] Mr. Store said.'
Breaking News: President Trump told Norway’s prime minister that one reason he’s pushing to acquire Greenland is because he didn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize.
January 19, 2026 at 3:35 PM
On several occasions
omg it’s so embarrassing
omg it’s so embarrassing
One of multiple occasions where Collins is mad about the perfectly predictable consequences of her votes (see also, Kavanaugh, Brett).
I think something to consider here is that Collins voted to confirm Russ Vought as OMB Director despite the fact that he said a billion times that he thought Trump had a constitutional right to illegally impound funds, and now she’s doing shocked Pikachu reactions.
September 26, 2026 at 4:20 AM
One of multiple occasions where Collins is mad about the perfectly predictable consequences of her votes (see also, Kavanaugh, Brett).
So basically Melania just pretends to be with him on the limited special occasions in her contract?
November 1, 2025 at 8:38 PM
So basically Melania just pretends to be with him on the limited special occasions in her contract?
I have said this on multiple occasions, but it won’t be the Epstein list that removes him from power.
It will be the economic pain.
It will be the economic pain.
October 26, 2025 at 12:26 PM
I have said this on multiple occasions, but it won’t be the Epstein list that removes him from power.
It will be the economic pain.
It will be the economic pain.
Full disclosure: On rare occasions I will still post at the old, bad place. Hope you all forgive me.
December 15, 2024 at 1:20 PM
Full disclosure: On rare occasions I will still post at the old, bad place. Hope you all forgive me.
Only posts on Twitter for special occasions, like grifting his supporters. Pay up, Trump fans!
January 18, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Only posts on Twitter for special occasions, like grifting his supporters. Pay up, Trump fans!
a box for all occasions
June 19, 2025 at 6:44 AM
a box for all occasions
the mariners just hit a ball over the fence. i'd imagine they have a backup baseball on hand for such occasions
October 18, 2025 at 1:01 AM
the mariners just hit a ball over the fence. i'd imagine they have a backup baseball on hand for such occasions
Eh, Blitz's version has it's occasions.
January 7, 2026 at 10:06 PM
Eh, Blitz's version has it's occasions.
RFK Jr. calls himself a protector of children. That’s a rich claim coming from someone who flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet on multiple occasions.
September 4, 2025 at 3:07 PM
RFK Jr. calls himself a protector of children. That’s a rich claim coming from someone who flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet on multiple occasions.
I really miss the days when the President only spoke to the public on rare and important occasions.
May 16, 2026 at 2:40 PM
I really miss the days when the President only spoke to the public on rare and important occasions.
Evergreen and suitable for all occasions
September 10, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Evergreen and suitable for all occasions
Angus: He has said on multiple occasions that he thinks he should be able to arbitrarily move the border… That's the Great Lakes. So you arbitrarily move the border, that's an invasion.
August 27, 2026 at 9:46 PM
Angus: He has said on multiple occasions that he thinks he should be able to arbitrarily move the border… That's the Great Lakes. So you arbitrarily move the border, that's an invasion.
there should be more occasions to eat stuffing
April 23, 2025 at 11:13 PM
there should be more occasions to eat stuffing
CAUTION: Bounty Hunters are working in groups inside of California. If gangs were created for anything it is for these occasions. These aren’t Feds. Unmask them @governor.ca.gov
June 18, 2025 at 7:50 AM
CAUTION: Bounty Hunters are working in groups inside of California. If gangs were created for anything it is for these occasions. These aren’t Feds. Unmask them @governor.ca.gov
I’m not fucking kidding: this was a use case that was mentioned to me in two separate occasions by unrelated people in academia.
TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS.
TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS.
April 21, 2026 at 10:50 AM
I’m not fucking kidding: this was a use case that was mentioned to me in two separate occasions by unrelated people in academia.
TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS.
TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS.
On the rare occasions that Farage is challenged in an interview he displays his fragility.
February 14, 2026 at 11:48 AM
On the rare occasions that Farage is challenged in an interview he displays his fragility.
I have done this on multiple occasions. lost it all on nfts
have been discussing this prompt with the fellas for the last 12 hours so now i bring it here: do you think you can do this
February 27, 2026 at 3:19 AM
I have done this on multiple occasions. lost it all on nfts
Melania Trump, who we actually know met Epstein on several occasions because there are pictures of her with him, would make more sense.
I think we need to take a step back and acknowledge the absurdity of House Republicans targeting their Epstein investigation on HILLARY CLINTON (who says she never met him!) while ignoring DONALD TRUMP (who Epstein described as his best friend!)
These are not serious people or good faith actors.
These are not serious people or good faith actors.
February 26, 2026 at 11:43 PM
Melania Trump, who we actually know met Epstein on several occasions because there are pictures of her with him, would make more sense.
My man looks like he has screamed "SEIZE HIM!" on multiple occasions
July 18, 2026 at 4:39 PM
My man looks like he has screamed "SEIZE HIM!" on multiple occasions
There is a Pikachu for every occasions.
April 3, 2025 at 8:55 AM
There is a Pikachu for every occasions.
on the rare occasions in this era when Democrats actually *had* unified power, they failed to wield it. that's actually something they deserve criticism for.
September 25, 2026 at 8:39 PM
on the rare occasions in this era when Democrats actually *had* unified power, they failed to wield it. that's actually something they deserve criticism for.
Floyd Mayweather is a strip club owner who has been convicted on multiple occasions of domestic violence and battery.
March 3, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Floyd Mayweather is a strip club owner who has been convicted on multiple occasions of domestic violence and battery.