Winston, 28, Germany | Trained Descriptive Linguist and Teacher by day, Gamer by night | I speak: EN, DE, FR — Pesky_Pretzel streams live on Twitch! Check out their videos, sign up to chat, and join t...

Universities reveal their deepest commitments not when they celebrate intellectual freedom in mission statements, but when a scholar…

There are two wolves. One always lies. One controls the lever of a trolley track... on Men's T-Shirt – Baffle your friends with every thought experiment, moral allegory, high-brow meme, and philosophy reference fire-hosed onto one inscrutable shirt. "There are two wolves. One always lies. One controls the lever of trolley track. They are in a state of superposition inside a box. Infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters are riding the trolley, going to a hotel with an infinite number of rooms. First, the trolley must travel halfway, but before that a quarter way, and so on. One wolf is “Kiki.” The other is “Bouba.” One salivates at the ringing of a bell. One wolf waits because it is promised two treats later. This bodes well for the more patient wolf’s future. One wolf is otherwise benevolent, but will punish anyone who knew of the box’s potential existence and did not directly contribute to its creation. That said, every part of this box has been replaced, so it may not be the same box from the beginning of the experiment. The box falls in the forest, but no experimenter is around to record the results. Wolves can see only shadows projected on the inner walls of the box, believing them to be reality. One obeys the experimenter’s orders to administer electric shocks to the monkey conducting the trolley. In truth, the conductor is actually an actor working on behalf of the experimenters. One wolf reports that a dress is black and blue. This is incorrect. The wolf is red/green colorblind. One of the infinite monkeys is able to imitate natural language writing well enough that one wolf cannot distinguish whether a transcript’s writer is a monkey or wolf. The transcript: “If one wolf testifies against the other, but the other does not, the one testifying will be set free from the box while the other remains.” One wolf cuts off all of its fur for money to buy a pocket watch as a Christmas present for the other wolf. However, that wolf has no pockets, nor can it read a clock, because it is a wolf. This is irony. One wolf chases the sun. One wolf chases the moon."