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SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 Week 10 Picks
#nfl #nflpicks #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3 #sortapicks #sortasports #week10 #nflweek10

Picks:
*Commanders-Giants (TNF): Giants (Sure wouldn't mind another half-point either though!)
*Patriots-Lions (Munich… on Fox?): Lions
*Chiefs-Falcons: Chiefs
*Texans-Browns: Texans
*Vikings-Packers: Packers
*Jaguars-Titans: Jaguars
*Dolphins-Colts: Colts
*Panthers-Saints: Panthers
*Bills-Jets: Bills
*Seahawks-Raiders: Seahawks
*Rams-Cardinals: Rams (They better watch their backs after last time though!)
*49ers-Cowboys: 49ers
*Steelers-Bengals (SNF): Steelers (Why? Because AFC North bs)
*Chargers-Ravens (MNF ESPN): Ravens

2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-9): 83.5/136, or 61.4%
2025 Week 10 Picks: 8/14, or 57.1%
2025 NFL Picks ~ Weeks 1-10: 102.5/149, or 68.8%

November 12, 2026 at 11:40 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 9 Recap
#nfl #nflrecap #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3 #sortapicks #sortasports #week9 #nflweek9

Recap:
*Jaguars-Ravens (⛔): I wait until after I'm done with these recaps to watch the week's Sportsball vid, but I can already tell that this is a That's So Raven season for the ages.
*Bengals-Falcons (✅): It's about time the Bengals made an opposing fanbase know how it felt for Cincy to watch their own defense the previous three seasons.
*Cowboys-Colts (✅): Dallas was so close to letting peak comedy occur on their field yet again, but then the Colts defense and Daniel Jones happened again, so I guess that was just wishful thinking.
*Jets-Chiefs (✅): This game wasn't anything special, so I just want to comment on how fucked the Jets are that even the QB and coach who both "led" them to their last playoff run have both been locked up in the last year and change.
*Lions-Dolphins (✅): An enticingly even match in fake punt skills and not much else.
*Browns-Saints (✅): Saints, I'm really happy for you showing some promise by barely not choking against that hack of a team. (I'm not 100% a happy hater here because if it was anyone other than Sheduer Sanders, they would get slandered to hell by a media all too happy to treat a predator like a god for completing a few lucky slants.)
*Giants-Eagles (✅): This Giants team having such a solid lead in the division is just the tip of the comedic iceberg for the NFC Least.
*Rams-Commanders (✅): The second-funniest moment of the week was the Commanders attempting a lateral play on the opposing 31 like it was their own 31 on the final play. Genuinely convinced that Dan Quinn's entire plan this year is to see the scientific limit of just how much stupidity an NFL coach can get away with before getting fired.
*Broncos-Panthers (⛔): The Panthers are already spectacularly confusing as is, and falling to the sword of Bronco bs isn't doing anything to help.

*Texans-Chargers (✅): The Los Angeles Chargers. That's the joke.
*Raiders-49ers (✅): Worst homecoming present ever
*Packers-Patriots (✅): Brady and Gronk watching SubMaye's sudden re-opening be like (insert clip of "Yao Ming almost cried when he saw the current state of basketball")
*Cardinals-Seahawks (✅): This might have been the best game. in this legendarily boring later window, if that tells you anything

*Buccaneers-Bears (✅): The first-funniest moment of the week was literally every second of this game. One of the funniest games I've ever had the pleasure of watching. Non-stop laughter at every mounting fuck-up. I'm not even exaggerating, Monty Python would be proud of such comedy. Chicago, you are one lucky-ass 7-2 team. And Tampa, you are lucky to be in that epic joke of a division or less you would be capital-F Fucked!
*Bills-Vikings (✅): The Vikings out here proving that attempting to recreate the 2000 Ravens in today's NFL is next to impossible. So in comes Captain Kirk (as in, hopefully Star Trek Generations Captain Kirk) to try and salvage the Enterprise.

2026 Week 9 Picks: 13/15, or 86.7% (15.3 points better than 2025)
2026 NFL Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 83.5/136, or 61.4% (8.6 points worse than 2025)

November 12, 2026 at 11:22 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 9 Picks (slightly late)
#nfl #nflpicks #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3 #sortapicks #sortasports #week9 #nflweek9

Picks:
*Jaguars-Ravens (TNF): Ravens
*Bengals-Falcons: Bengals
*Cowboys-Colts: Cowboys
*Jets-Chiefs: Chiefs
*Lions-Dolphins: Lions
*Browns-Saints: Saints(?)
*Giants-Eagles: Giants
*Rams-Commanders: Rams
*Broncos-Panthers: Panthers
*Texans-Chargers: Texans
*Raiders-49ers: 49ers
*Packers-Patriots: Packers
*Cardinals-Seahawks: Seahawks
*Buccaneers-Bears (SNF): Bears
*Bills-Vikings (MNF ABC/ESPN): Bills

2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 70.5/121, or 58.3%
2025 Week 9 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4%
2025 NFL Picks ~ Weeks 1-9: 94.5/135, or 70%

November 6, 2026 at 2:14 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 8 Recap
#nfl #nflrecap #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3 #sortapicks #sortasports #week8 #nflweek8

Recap:
*Panthers-Packers (✅): Packers saw the damn Brewers win a World Series before they so much as reached a 2nd Super Bowl this century and took that personally. (For the record, I had that in mind if the Packers won, which they did. But if they bottled it yet again, I had a different joke on hand: "At least you have great expected champions in the (checks notes) Brewers? Sure, I'll take it!")
*Ravens-Bills (✅): "Journey to Injury Bowl Glory: Part 1"
*Titans-Bengals (✅): Do I feel feel pumped as hell after a dramatic OT win like that or scared as hell that we barely beat the Titans? Yes.
*Cardinals-Cowboys (⛔): The Packers and Cardinals both being undefeated all-time in Jerryworld is embarrassing to the Cowboys in two completely different ways.
*Vikings-Lions (⛔): The '72 Dolphins are already now popping the champagine again. Now it's a question of whether or not the ghosts of the '03 and '16 Vikings come back to haunt Minneapolis.
*Raiders-Jets (✅): We went in six years from the Jets pulling out the worst Hail Mary defense ever against Vegas, to the Jets trying a Hail Mary way too early against Vegas and promptly getting beat by one of the greatest Hail Mary interceptions ever. I just find that funny.
*Browns-Steelers (⛔): I (begrudgingly) give my full credit to the Steelers for a brilliant defensive performance against Deshaun Watson that embarrassed the Browns badly enough to give Ramaswamy a run for his failed PAC money.
*Falcons-Buccaneers (⛔): It's just so historically Buccs of them to be the first team in 52 years (even before the Creamsicles) to win a game without a single completed pass. (And also so Falcons for them to lose a game by 16 like that.)
*Colts-Jaguars (✅): Jonathan Taylor must feel like a kid counting down the days until they get to go on vacation to end the worst school year ever two weeks early, grades be damned.

*Chargers-Rams (✅): The poor Bolts can't even be competitive in the Flopbuster Bowl. (At least the Cards still have the last laugh for now.)
*Chiefs-Broncos (⛔): "Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss."
*Patriots-Dolphins (✅): You know it's sad times in Miami when even their anti-Patriots home lucky charm is totally dead now.
*Eagles-Commanders (✅): Everything about this game was a masterclass in football slapstick, from the play on the field to the team that won it to especially the team that very much lost it.
*Bears-Seahawks (⛔): I guess it is indeed bit harder to survive on Lock Luck alone against a red-hot Caleb Williams than against a rusty, post-SB meltdown Drake Maye.

2026 Week 8 Picks: 8/14, or 57.1%
2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 70.5/121, or 58.3%

November 6, 2026 at 1:56 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 8 Picks (late af)
#nfl #nflpicks #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3 #sortapicks #sortasports #week8 #nflweek8

Picks:
*Panthers-Packers (TNF): Packers (Didn't type until midway through the 2nd, but hadn't looked at the game yet lol)
*Bills-Ravens: Bills
*Titans-Bengals: Bengals
*Cardinals-Cowboys: Cowboys
*Vikings-Lions: Vikings
*Raiders-Jets: Raiders
*Browns-Steelers: Browns (Not trusting that crappy Steelers team to save America again.)
*Falcons-Buccaneers: Falcons
*Colts-Jaguars: Jaguars
*Chargers-Rams: Rams (or maybe the Cardinals teleport out of Arlington to beat both of them again)
*Chiefs-Broncos: Chiefs
*Patriots-Dolphins: Patriots
*Eagles-Commanders (SNF): Commanders
*Bears-Seahawks (MNF ESPN): Seahawks

2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 62.5/107, or 58.4%
2025 NFL Week 8 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2%
2025 NFL Picks ~ Weeks 1-8: 84.5/121, or a very nice 69.9%

November 1, 2026 at 5:56 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 7 Recap (VERY late lol)
#nfl #nflpicks #nflrecap #sortapicks3 #sortapicksiii #sortapicks #sortasports #nflweek7 #week7

Recap:
*Patriots-Bears (✅): When Cairo Santos is making clutch 58-yarders against you, then you just have to accept it's not your night.
*Steelers-Saints (✅): Again, better the Steelers winning in Paris than the cops.
*Buccaneers-Panthers (⛔): Get the feeling the Rays might have regretted giving Baker their lucky glove. (Can you tell I waited too damn long to write this recap?)
*49ers-Falcons (⛔): Guess Atlanta still hasn't forgiven Shanahan for 28-3, huh?
*Giants-Texans (⛔): The Giants are somehow both the most confusing and watchable team in this four-train pile-up of a division.
*Colts-Vikings (✅): The Vikings, meanwhile, are the most confusing, certainly not most watchable, and yet only undefeated team in this 32-train pile-up of a league.
*Dolphins-Jets (⛔): "What does Aaron Glenn ACTUALLY DO?"
*Bengals-Ravens (⛔): I don't know what the Ravens fucked up in the transition of power, but please don't change, my Ratbird frenemies.
*Browns-Titans (✅): You ass, indeed, Tennessee.
*Broncos-Cardinals (✅): Cardinals probably wishing they could just move to SoFi permanently already.
*Rams-Raiders (⛔): Welp, guess it's time I remember the dangers of Big-Pick-itis.
*Packers-Lions (✅): Campbell is really not helping his case in looking like a parody of himself even when he's winning.
*Chiefs-Seahawks (⛔): That K9 unit got shut down hard.
*Cowboys-Eagles (✅): Of course the Eagles let yet another nightmarish game get away from them just as I gave up on the Rays to make it a great World Series and turned it back to MNF. (Am happy for the Brewers though.)

2026 Week 7 Picks: 7/14, or 50% (23.3 points worse than 2025)
2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 62.5/107, or 58.4% (11.5 points worse than 2025)

November 1, 2026 at 5:38 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 7 Picks (a tad late)
#nfl #nflpicks #sortapicks3 #sortapicksiii #sortapicks #sortasports #nflweek7 #week7

Picks:

*Patriots-Bears (TNF; late pick): Bears (Got too sucked into video-making to type this until the final 3 minutes, but I was going to pick them, albeit barely. Also my picks have been a mess this season, so just let me have this.)
*Steelers-Saints (Paris): Steelers (Better them winning in Paris than the cops, I'll concede that.)
*Buccaneers-Panthers: Panthers
*49ers-Falcons: 49ers
*Giants-Texans: Texans
*Colts-Vikings: Vikings
*Dolphins-Jets: Jets
*Bengals-Ravens: Ravens (In a way just close enough to drive me mad)
*Browns-Titans: Browns (Titans, I'll also only call you nice things until your next loss if you push through the Browns' bs. Guess I'll call it a mini-bounty program. Wait, New Orleans isn't on their schedule, right?)
*Broncos-Cardinals: Broncos
*Rams-Raiders: Raiders
*Packers-Lions: Lions
*Chiefs-Seahawks (SNF): Chiefs
*Cowboys-Eagles (MNF ABC/ESPN): Not us viewers (Fine, Cowboys)

2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-6): 55.5/93, or 59.7%
2025 NFL Week 7 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3%
2025 NFL Picks ~ Weeks 1-7: 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9%

October 23, 2026 at 4:40 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 6 Recap
#nflrecap #picks #nflpicks #nflweek6 #week6 #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3 #sortapicks #sortasports #nfl

Recap:

*Seahawks-Broncos (⛔): I guess we know what this Super Bowl would have looked like if Darnold got hit with mono midway through the tunnel.
*Texans-Jaguars (⛔): You live by the crazy walk-off game, you die by the crazy walk-off game.
*Titans-Colts (⛔): You know nobody has had reason to care about the Colts since Luck's retirement when they imploded badly enough to a winless team to finally fire their hack of a GM, and they didn't even take that much embarrassment for it.
*Ravens-Browns (⛔): I won't feel any sympathy for you at all when you frauds inevtiably shit your pants again in the playoffs. (I know, no Lamar, but I don't like the vibes with this game either way.)
*Saints-Giants (⛔): Well, at least (not Nine) Eighteen had Who Dat Nation shook at the end?
*Bears-Falcons (✅): No, the Falcons are not allowed to let other teams choke to their benefit. Only the other way around.
*Panthers-Eagles (✅): I don't even feel that great joking about the Eagles now that we know about the shit they pulled with Jalen. Whether or not the league actually goes after every medical official and toothless coach that very well could have gotten him killed, I just hope not only that he recovers well, but that those people don't keep the same jobs they put a man in danger for just to desperately try to preserve.
*Steelers-Buccaneers (✅): Worst hatewatch bye week ever.
*Jets-Patriots (✅): Well, Jets, you fought hard to stay in it and keep my compliment streak alive. But you couldn't get the W so now's the time for me to again say that you're probably not going anywhere this year. Sorry.

AZ-LAR (⛔): [edited pic of the Cardinals (Gumball) and the NFL as a whole (Darwin) pointing at the flailing Rams (Principal Brown) and yelling, "OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE A FRAUD!!!" (Edited from Gumball S03E11: "The Fraud")]
*Chargers-Chiefs (✅): To anyone who actually picked the Titans preseason to have more wins through six weeks than the Chargers, how much for your crystal ball or Future Vision?
*Bills-Raiders (✅): Even if the Raiders can't inch into the playoffs this year, I get the feeling both Buffalo and K.C. have gotta keep an eye on them in the rear view mirror before long.
*Cowboys-Packers (✅): Not even a fun disaster. The Cowboys just stink (and yet are also one of the less unsightly trainwrecks in their division somehow).
*Commanders-49ers (✅): A part of me is genuinely wondering if Quinn entered this season specifically trying to get fired as quickly as possible purely as a little football experiment.

2026 Week 6 Picks: 8/14, or 57.1% (8.3 points worse than 2025)
2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-6): 55.5/93, or 59.7% (9.7 points worse than 2025)

October 22, 2026 at 1:18 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 6 Picks
#nflpicks #sortasports #week6 #nflweek6 #sortapicks #sortapicks3 #sortapicksiii

Picks:
*Seahawks-Broncos (TNF): Seahawks
*Texans-Jaguars (London): Jaguars
*Titans-Colts: Colts
*Ravens-Browns: Ravens (If you blow this one, then you won't have my sympathy if you blow the division to anyone.)
*Saints-Giants: Giants
*Bears-Falcons: Bears
*Panthers-Eagles: Panthers
*Steelers-Buccaneers: Steelers
*Jets-Patriots: Patriots
*Cardinals-Rams: Rams (If you blow this, then I'm done keeping my hand off the emergency button.)
*Chargers-Chiefs: Chiefs
*Bills-Raiders: Bills
*Cowboys-Packers (SNF): Packers? (Could be one hell of a fun disaster)
*Commanders-49ers (MNF ABC/ESPN/5 million new AltCasts apparently): 49ers

2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-5): 47.5/79, or 60.1% (11.1 points worse than 2025)
2025 NFL Week 6 Picks: 9/15, or 60%
2025 NFL Picks ~ Weeks 1-6: 64.5/93, or 69.4%

October 15, 2026 at 6:59 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 5 Recap
#nflrecap #sortasports #week5 #nflweek5 #sortapicks #sortapicks3 #sortapicksiii

Recap:
*Buccaneers-Cowboys (⛔): You know the NFC East is in rough shape when the damn Cowboys, who lost to a winless trainwreck throwing out an undrafted rookie QB, had the least humiliating outcome.
*Eagles-Jaguars (✅): As if there wasn't enough proof that Jacksonville is truly the NFL's Twilight Zone, even when their team is in a different continent (and also proof that Nick Sirianni is truly the NFL's Nick Sirianni). I'd call it the "Miracle on High Road", except then Tottenham fans would probably jump my tragically American ass for daring to give that name to the wrong football sport 😭
*Bengals-Dolphins (✅): Well, it could have felt a bit more convincing (even if it was basically all but a done deal before Miami had a nice pseudo-garbage time), but thankfully, no need for an AFC East bottom feeder-related rant… yet.
*Vikings-Saints (⛔): I still have absolutely no clue what to think of the Vikings or their prospects, but I guess we're just along for the ride and I don't exactly feel like complaining too much.
*Giants-Commanders (😐): I went from being 90% in favor to the NFL to abolishing ties to just like 75% in favor, because holy shit, this is absolutely legendary malpractice almost on the level of 28-3. (Wonder who was the coach for that long before healthy Jayden Daniels carried him back to relevance for exactly one year?) A hot mess of a finish our grandkids will laugh at just as hard as we did. I'll never get sick of pulling out that tie emoji!
*Packers-Bears (⛔): Guess the Pack isn't done desperately trying to own the Bears.
*Browns-Jets (⛔): I am a man of my word. A gritty, clutch performance with a defensive showcase worth commending even if you weren't burying Deshaun Watson and finally bringing the fradulent Browns back down to Earth. Keep it up and I'll keep the compliments rolling (only before you lose again, I'm not that nice lol)

*Raiders-Patriots (✅): Drake Maye have needed to just shake the rust.
*Texans-Titans (✅): A horribly-needed win even if it's a freebie like the Titans.
*Colts-Steelers (⛔): They're going 9-8 again, aren't they?
*Broncos-Chargers (✅): Even if he's getting too much of the blame (again), at this rate, I wouldn't even blame Herbert for playing to get his increasingly sputtering head coach and OC canned.
*Lions-Cardinals (✅): Trey McBride is going to lose his mind carrying this franchise, isn't he?
*49ers-Seahawks (✅): What sorcery is Shanahan pulling off to get to 5-0 with this many injuries?
*Ravens-Falcons (✅): Eh, I'd say this is only a 2 at most on the Atlanta-ing scale. (Also damn, Tua's career is depressing.)
*Bills-Rams (⛔): So uhhh you sure you shouldn't have invested some of those billion money bags into your flailing special teams, Rams?

2026 Week 5 Picks: 8.5/15, or 56.7% (21 points better than 2025; FINALLY, NOT A DROP-OFF)
2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-5): 47.5/79, or 60.1% (11.1 points worse than 2025)

October 15, 2026 at 6:56 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks: 2026 NFL Week 5 Picks/Predictions
#nflpicks #nflweek5 #week5 #sortasports #sortapicks #sortapicks3 #sortapicksiii

*Buccaneers-Cowboys (TNF): Cowboys
*Eagles-Jaguars (London): Jaguars
*Bengals-Dolphins: Bengals (If we Bungle it to a winless AFC East dump again though, you won't get a crashout this time. Sorry.)
*Vikings-Saints: Saints
*Giants-Commanders: Giants
*Bears-Packers: Bears
*Browns-Jets: Browns (Jets, if you prove me wrong, I won't say a bad word about you guys ever again. Or at least not for another week.)
*Raiders-Patriots: Patriots
*Texans-Titans: Texans
*Colts-Steelers: Colts
*Broncos-Chargers: Broncos
*Lions-Cardinals: Lions
*49ers-Seahawks: 49ers
*Ravens-Falcons (SNF): Ravens
*Bills-Rams (MNF ABC/ESPN): Rams

2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-4): 39/64, or 60.9% (18 points/11.5 games worse than 2025)
2025 NFL Week 5 Picks: 5/14, or 35.7% (Well at least I can't do that badly again, right?)
2025 NFL Picks ~ Weeks 1-5: 55.5/78, or 71.2%

October 8, 2026 at 8:11 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks: 2026 NFL Week 4 Recap
#nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #week4 #nflweek4 #sortasports #sortapicks #sortapicks3 #sortapicksiii

*Steelers-Browns (⛔): I don't know what to say that wouldn't be venting other than that I am begging for the football gods to bring both these two down to Earth before it's too late. (Also the Bengals are so getting swept by Cleveland because the football gods regret ever letting them happen.)
*Colts-Commanders (⛔): MariGOATa was a fun story last week, but Big Ben (not that one) clearly stuck midnight on him across the pond.
*Cardinals-Giants (✅): A very fun rendition of the "We Might Not Be Total Trash This Year" Bowl
*Patriots-Bills (⛔): Holy hell, I think Drake Maye have needed this win.
*Jets-Bears (✅): Great news, Jets! You finally got an interception for the first time since this series got its name, and you went 26 yards in four plays! The bad news is that you sill had to play the rest of the game.
*Cowboys-Texans (✅): Well, I guess it became more of "really good offense with trash defense vs. sometimes good offense with sometimes trash defense", but either way, Dallas is keeping pace in a division that really shouldn't be this hard to win. Meanwhile, Houston, you've definitely got a problem.
*Rams-Eagles (✅): The Rams might have saved their superteam season. And meanwhile if the Eagles were in a real division, I'd be calling for legislation to ban them from playoff conversation because HOLY SHIT, THEY LOOK HILARIOUS.
*Packers-Buccaneers (✅): Green Bay won the Implosion Bowl (at least the first one with how many teams look in danger of being as washed as the ocean this year), but is that really something to be proud of?
*Titans-Ravens (✅): Least memorable pyrrhic victory ever.
*Jaguars-Bengals (✅): When I picked against us, I expected us to just get outmatched by a contender. I didn't think they'd kill us all while we still somehow had them shook just to blow the ending, but I guess things can just never be that simple.

*Dolphins-Vikings (✅): The Vikings are literally taking football back over 100 years and we're all just along for the ride.
*Chiefs-Raiders (✅): Looked doofy enough to me. Sorry, Raiders.
*Chargers-Seahawks (✅): Jim's attempt at revenge for 2013 just leaves him wishing he could go back to Ann Arbor all the more. (Honestly, I'm not sure he could make that place any more of a circus than it is right now even if he tried.)
*Broncos-49ers (✅): I still can't tell if the 49ers are that elite even in hobbled form or if the Broncos really are just that fraudulent.
*Lions-Panthers (⛔): The Motor City Kitties are defending like kitty litter. Meanwhile, the Queen City Felines (at least the other ones) might actually be onto something, especially with Bryce Young seemingly forgetting that he isn't still in Atlanta.
*Falcons-Saints (⛔): For all of the celebration for Domecoming's 20th anniversary (including Steve Gleason being a fun enough interview to make me feel lucky for tuning into Manningcast for once), it was the Robinsons giving the Saints an "Ambush" of their own.

2026 NFL Week 4 Picks: 11/16, or 68.8% (3.1 points/0.5 games worse than 2025; look, cut me some slack for not having the guts to pick a tie)
2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-4): 39/64, or 60.9% (18 points/11.5 games worse than 2025)

October 8, 2026 at 8:07 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 4 Picks
#nflpicks #week4 #nflweek4 #sortasports #sortapicks #sortapicks3 #sortapicksiii

Picks:

*Steelers-Browns (TNF): Steelers (It truly is a cold day in Hell when I have to root for Pittsburgh by default.)
*Colts-Commanders (London): Colts
*Cardinals-Giants: Giants
*Patriots-Bills: Bills
*Jets-Bears: Bears
*Cowboys-Texans: Cowboys (Considering that this is decent offense with trash defense vs. decent defense with trash offense though, it could certainly be an interesting mess.)
*Rams-Eagles: Rams
*Packers-Buccaneers: Packers? (IMPLOSION BOWL 2026 WOOOO)
*Titans-Ravens: Ravens
*Jaguars-Bengals: Jaguars
*Dolphins-Vikings: Vikings
*Chiefs-Raiders: Chiefs (Only in the doofiest way possible)
*Chargers-Seahawks: Seahawks
*Broncos-49ers: 49ers
*Lions-Panthers (SNF): Lions
*Falcons-Saints (MNF ESPN): Saints

2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-3): 28/48, or 58.3%
2025 NFL Week 4 Picks: 11.5/16, or 71.9%
2025 NFL Picks - Weeks 1-4: 50.5/64, or 78.9%

October 1, 2026 at 11:33 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 3 Recap
#nflpicks #nflrecap #week3 #nflweek3 #sortasports #sortapicks #sortapicks3 #sortapicksiii

Recap:

*Falcons-Packers (⛔): I know this might sound weird to say when I at least thought they'd do the bare minimum to beat the damn Falcons, but as for how I feel about the grand scheme of things in Green Bay… ["VINDICATED" by Dashboard Confessional from Spider-Man 2]
*Panthers-Browns (⛔): You failed America, Panthers.
*Chargers-Bills (✅): Well… at least it was less embarrassing than the first two games of your spiral season, Bolts?
*Jets-Lions (✅): I still can't tell whether or not the Jets are at least watchable now, and also whether or not Detroit is totally screwed the moment they face more teams more than like 65% done with a rebuild. (I mean, as any potential Aussie readers and especially reeling Freo fans would know, at least it wasn't the worst loss in a game called football to a team called the Lions this past weekend. 😬)
*Seahawks-Commanders (⛔): Just when people in the state of Washington thought Marcus Mariota was done giving them headaches years ago.
*Chiefs-Dolphins (✅): The most impressive Fins showing of September 2026!
*Titans-Giants (✅): Hard to think of a more merciful matchup to get after everyone dies than the Titans, even if they still nearly blew it at the end.
*Patriots-Jaguars (✅): I can't tell if I'm also vindicated on Jacksonville being great or very not vindicated on New England being in trouble.
*Texans-Colts (✅): I'm absolutely not vindicated by Houston, good grief.
*Bengals-Steelers (✅): Anyone shocked by this doesn't know how excellent we are at Bungling in Yinzerland no matter how competent at football we look against others.

*Cardinals-49ers (✅): CARDINALS HAD EM SHOOK THO
*Vikings-Buccaneers (✅): That 4th down snap of Mayfield running for his life, coughing up a pick, and all the while getting his thumb wrecked might be the new signature clip of implosion seasons at this rate.
*Ravens-Cowboys (⛔): Iffy refball aside, the exact type of international game the league has spent the last two decades dreaming of delivering. (Easy for me to be annoyed at the Cowboys for blowing a game to my rival, but honestly, I just felt happy for Tyler Loop's redemption more than anything.)
*Raiders-Saints (⛔): A very entertaining clash between two of the season's most fun early surprises. Definitely feels weird seeing New Orleans be two wins worse than Vegas though.
*Rams-Broncos (⛔): Yep, it's official. The Broncos are straight-up just the Diet Chiefs, fluke bs and sketchy reffing and all. Save us, Raiders.
*Eagles-Bears (⛔): First off, funny seeing Case Keenum have his finest hour since the Minneapolis Miracle be in a Bears jersey of all things, especially as revenge against the team that whooped him in that year's NFC title game. And speaking of that team, LMAO I DID HAVE EVERY REASON TO DOUBT YOU SIRIANNI XD

2026 NFL Week 3 Picks: 9/16, or 56.3% (2 games/12.5 points worse than 2025)2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-3): 28/48, or 58.3% (9 games/18.8 points worse than 2025)

October 1, 2026 at 11:12 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 3 Picks
#nflpicks #week3 #nflweek3 #sortapicks #sortasports #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3

Picks:

*Falcons-Packers (TNF): Packers (Okay, I'm like 40 minutes late, but I literally won't have even peeked at the score yet until I've already posted it.)
*Panthers-Browns: Panthers
*Chargers-Bills: Bills
*Jets-Lions: Lions
*Seahawks-Commanders: Seahawks
*Chiefs-Dolphins: Chiefs
*Titans-Giants: Giants
*Patriots-Jaguars: Jaguars
*Texans-Colts: Colts
*Bengals-Steelers: Steelers (My mind says Bengals so much, but I don't know if I'm raising my hopes too high just yet.)
*Cardinals-49ers: 49ers
*Vikings-Buccaneers: Vikings
*Ravens-Cowboys (Rio): Cowboys
*Raiders-Saints: Saints
*Rams-Broncos (SNF): Rams
*Eagles-Bears (MNF ABC/ESPN): Eagles (though only in the most frustrating way possible for everyone involved)

2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-2): 19/32, or 59.4%
2025 NFL Week 3 Picks: 11/16, or 68.8%
2025 NFL Picks - Weeks 1-3: 37/48, or 77.1%

September 25, 2026 at 1:02 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 2 Recap
#nfl #nflpicks #nflrecap #nflweek2 #week2 #sortapicks #sortasports #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3

Recap:
No more quotes because I can already tell that would be a nightmare to keep up every week 😭
*Lions-Bills (✅): The first clump of Bills Mafia to ever take in a game at New Highmark got to see a lot of touchdowns thanks to these two increasingly concerning secondaries, although at least Josh Allen did a good job distracting from Buffalo's concerns on that end.
*Eagles-Titans (✅): It's official. The Eagles are the new Steelers of the NFC, at least in terms of getting wins off splash plays in spite of themselves.
*Vikings-Bears (⛔): As brutal a Week 2 loss as I can remember on every conceivable level. The start to one of the worst weeks for QB injuries in recent memory.
*Panthers-Falcons (✅): Even prime Matty Ice would have had a tough time pulling a game like this out with Bryce Young randomly owning the Falcons like Aaron Rodgers owning the Bears. But the dire duo of Cooper Rush and Jack Strand? Yeah, no shot.
*Packers-Jets (✅): The Jets were so, so close to exposing the Packers even more in the Ex-Rodgers Bowl. But, you know, Aaron Glenn, so that just couldn't pan out.
*Steelers-Patriots (✅): I'll give the Jets this though. At least Rodgers' other Celtics Shaq team ain't looking much better.
*Saints-Ravens (⛔): Truly a crossover for the ages between the sophomore surge of The Shough Show and the potential surprise renewal of That's So Raven.
*Bengals-Texans (⛔): Our defense can legit dominate? All while Chase makes some of the most jaw-dropping plays of the year? We're 2-0 and didn't look drunk off our asses doing so? Is this what hope feels like in terms of just being a good football team again instead of either a decade in limbo or a ugly rebuild waiting to happen? (Me be like Pearl: "Amethyst [or my Bengal fan friend], turn into a chair. I need to sit down.")

*Browns-Buccaneers (⛔): Imagine sitting through a weather delay longer than the average video essay just to see your already floundering team blow the finish and let Deshaun Washedson have a game-winning touchdown pass to his name in 2026. At that point, I wouldn't blame them for having buyer's remorse on their season tickets.
*Jaguars-Broncos (⛔): Jacksonville's first golden opportunity to position themselves as the class of the AFC slipped right through their fingers the moment Bo Nix's rubberband AI kicked in. By no means am I sounding any alarms on them, but this should be a lesson for the Jags.
*Raiders-Chargers (⛔): Either the Raiders are secretly good or the Chargers are having the exact type of nightmare implosion I picked damn near every Wild Card loser besides them to have entering the season.
*Commanders-Cowboys (✅): An already dire Washington showing turned much worse by yet another demoralizing QB injury.
*Seahawks-Cardinals (✅): Arizona tried their best for a half to keep the dream start alive, but even a Darnold-less Seahawks title defense team is a much different beast than a spiraling Chargers team.
*Dolphins-49ers (✅): Turns out even this hobbled pack of Niners didn't need much to scoot past these sinking Dolphins.

*Colts-Chiefs (✅): The Colts were on the brink of reversing the Chiefs' golden horseshoe, right down to doing the unthinkable and being on the good end of a potentially game-ending highly-discussed call. But then Shane Steichen, apparently deciding his seat just wasn't hot enough, botched that entire set of downs and then settled for a tie that, considering how the QB on the other side of the ball has put together clutch drives in his sleep with a quarter of the time, didn't have a chance in Hell at holding up. A call that, given the circumstances, was both embarrassingly cowardly and bafflingly reckless at the same time. Brilliant.
*Giants-Rams (✅): New York took a Dart to the heart almost immediately and never recovered, especially with Davante Adams abruptly choosing to turn back the clock to 2020.

2026 NFL Week 2 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5% (3 games/18.8 points worse than 2025)2026 NFL Picks so far (Weeks 1-2): 19/32, or 59.4% (5 games/15.6 points worse than 2025)

September 24, 2026 at 1:05 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 2 Picks
#nflpicks #nflweek1 #week1 #sortapicks #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3 #sortasports

Picks:

*Lions-Bills (TNF): Bills
*Eagles-Titans: Eagles
*Vikings-Bears: Bears
*Panthers-Falcons: Panthers
*Packers-Jets: Packers
*Steelers-Patriots: Patriots
*Saints-Texans: Ravens
*Bengals-Texans: Texans (We should at least play 'em tough though. Big chance to make a statement.)
*Browns-Buccaneers: Buccaneers
*Jaguars-Broncos: Jaguars
*Raiders-Chargers: Chargers (I think?)
*Commanders-Cowboys: Cowboys
*Seahawks-Cardinals: Seahawks
*Dolphins-49ers: 49ers
*Colts-Chiefs (SNF): Chiefs
*Giants-Rams (MNF ABC/ESPN): Rams

2026 NFL Picks so far (Week 1): 9/16, or 56.3%
2025 Week 2 Picks: 13/16, or 81.3%

September 18, 2026 at 12:23 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 1 Recap (trying out humorously relevant quotes for each intro and just slapped on the first super old quote about bad defense I could find lol)
#nflpicks #sortapicksiii #sortapicks #sortasports #nflrecap #week1 #nflweek1

Recap:
"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended." - Frédéric Bastiat, 1850(?)

*Patriots-Seahawks (✅): Drake Maye not know how to handle the Seahawks defense, especially when Drew Locks in (or at least doesn't fuck it up while McDarnold's is suspended due to health concerns).
*49ers-Rams (⛔): Guess this wrong pick's on me for expecting a super-acclaimed Super Bowl-winning head coach to understand how jetlag works. Apparently, that's just too much to ask for.
*Bears-Panthers (⛔): What looked like an epic shootout for one half became Caleb Williams and company flexing their might on a faulty Panthers defense in the second half.
*Buccaneers-Bengals (✅): Don't know whether to feel reluctant hope for Cincy or far more likely alarm bells for Tampa. Either way, certainly glad to just have a not ugly Week 1 win for once.
*Saints-Lions (✅): The Dan Campbell Goodtime Hour really was just one 2-point disconnect away from blowing its ratings lead to The Shough Show.
*Bills-Texans (⛔): There may be serious questions to ask about both defenses after this, but at least we got to see some slinging
*Ravens-Colts (✅): Indiana Jones and the Lost Defense
*Browns-Jaguars (✅): After how the late 2010s went, I'm sure Duval is just as glad to pummel Watson into the dirt now as they would have back then, just not for the reasons they would have expected.
*Falcons-Steelers (✅): Leftover Steeler devil magic + Falcons Falconing their QB situation = A game I'm glad I didn't get to watch (I was out doing shit Sunday afternoon, so I barely saw any of the 1 pm slate live and am just winging it lol)
*Jets-Titans (⛔): I knew Tennessee would still be raw even with a not-atrocious head coach at the helm, but not "getting trashed by Aaron Glenn and Geno Smith's Jets" raw. Woof.

*Cardinals-Chargers (⛔): Isn't Other L.A. supposed to wait until at least December to Charger away any hope? Anyway, at least one of the LaFleur's doesn't look like a joke right now.
*Dolphins-Vikings (✅): Looks like Cousins is having one more nice moment in the bag-securing Sun before Mendoza assumes control of the ship.
*Packers-Vikings (✅): Gotta be the most embarrassing Packers game since the last time Matt LaFireable blew a multi-score lead to a rival that won't let them hear the end of it all year. (Also holy fuck, I hope Kyler's okay. One of the scariest hits I've seen in a while.)
*Commanders-Eagles (✅): Yay, you barely beat a mediocre rival off one of the most laughably dumb 2-point conversion calls in a hot minute. I'm just so not-sarcastically convinced in your stability, Philly.
*Cowboys-Giants (⛔): You know the Dallas D is in rough shape when they're letting John Harbaugh give the G-Men hope.
*Broncos-Chiefs (⛔): Perhaps it's time to revive that running gag from Season 1 of Bo Nix throwing like Bo Peep throwing with her broken arm? Because good god, was that rough. Guess you can't keep a good hated dynasty down for long.

2026 Week 1 Picks: 9/16, or 56.3% (2 games, or 12.5 points, worse than 2025 Week 1)

September 15, 2026 at 7:43 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Week 1 Picks

#nflpicks #predictions #sortapicks3 #sortspicksiii #sortapicks #week1 #nflweek1

Picks:

*NE-SEA (Kickoff): Seahawks
*SF-LAR (Melbourne): Rams
*CHI-CAR: Panthers
*TB-CIN: Bengals (very cautiously though)
*NO-DET: Lions
*BUF-HOU: Texans
*BAL-IND: Ravens
*CLE-JAX: Jaguars
*ATL-PIT: Steelers (nearly leaned towards Atlanta, but nah, I'm already being overly optimistic just trusting Cincy for one week)
*NYJ-TEN: Titans
*AZ-LAC: Chargers
*MIA-LV: Raiders
*GB-MIN: Vikings
*WAS-PHI: Eagles
*DAL-NYG (SNF): Cowboys
*DEN-KC (MNF ABC/ESPN): Broncos

2025 Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% (4.4 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024)

2025 Regular Season + Playoff Picks: 187.5/285 or 65.8% (4.6 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024)

2025 Week 1 Picks: 11/16, or 68.8%

September 8, 2026 at 8:50 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaPicks III: 2026 NFL Last-Minute Playoff Seed Predictions/Rankings/Whatever

#sortapicks #sortapicksiii #sortapicks3 #nflpicks #picks

September 8, 2026 at 8:38 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

I really, really, really hope ID restriction bs doesn't boot me off Bsky, but if it does, then here's my Tumblr for the 5 people who care. It'll still have SortaPicks and my geeking out on Kirby (plus whatever secondary fandom I'm into at the moment) and all that jazz
sortanonymous.tumblr.com

18 (still don't like creeps); he/him (straight and cis as a line and white as a ghost); at least a...

sortanonymous.tumblr.com

July 1, 2026 at 2:23 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaSports: SortaPicks' (late) 2025/26 NFL Super Bowl LX Recap (SortaPicks II Finale)
#nfl #nflrecap #recap #superbowl #superbowllx #superbowl60 #nflplayoffs #playoffs #sblx #sb60 #seahawks #seattleseahawks #sortasports #sortapicks

*Seahawks-Patriots (✅): (First off, definitely the plan to wait until 12 days later to finish this for Seattle. I'm totally not just pure garbage at finishing these Super Bowl recaps in remotely timely fashion as I immediately shift into NASCAR mode! How could you possibly assume that?) Even as someone more tolerant of tense, defensive affairs than many, this was definitely one of the more forgettable Super Bowls in recent memory. But regardless, it was very clear who was ready for the moment and who wasn't. Darnold may not have been Warner on the big stage, but he was also fortunately far from Gannon. He made some nice plays in a few tough spots and overall did what he had to do to complete his redemption arc for the ages (and also in the process make Queens and Minneapolis both want to collectively vomit). Kenneth Walker also had a really solid night, although honestly, he kinda joins the Edelman and 2020 Brady category of guys who mostly won SB MVP because they can't just make it an 11-way tie, because holy hell, was that defense terrific. The Dark Side absolutely consumed New England's hopes all night long in ways that probably gave Foxborough some really rough flashbacks to 1985. That already pretty rough Pats O-line didn't just have absolutely no answers, they didn't even seem to be in the right class. And Drake Maye didn't exactly do much in this Mayeday situation to beat those soft-schedule allegations, although honestly, there's only so much you can blame him with how much he was getting pummeled. (Considering what ball security and distance he showed, maybe the Patriots should have rushed to sign Bad Bunny right before the second half. Fantastic show btw, and I don't even know Spanish.)

Maye tried to make it interesting again in the 4th, but that defense wasn't letting off the gas, with Uchenna Nwosu joining the likes of Willie Brown, Derrick Brooks, and Tracy Porter in icing a Super Bowl with a pick-six (as all Super Bowls should end if they can't be close, in my humble opinion). 11 years after the Pats ripped the heart out of Seattle with their own pick that doomed the Legion of Boom, there was perhaps no better way for the Dark Side to officially confirm their revenge and exorcise over a decade of Emerald City demons. (Also big shoutout to stellar special teams nights from Michael Dickson and especially Jason Myers, who may have legitimately come closer than damn near any kicker ever to having a real case for Super Bowl MVP.) Mike Vrabel and company definitely have plenty to be proud of with this season and should have a lot to look forward to (although since it's the Patriots, I wish them luck in getting painted as the next great Cinderella run like it's 2001 again lol), but the Seattle Seahawks more than earned their 2nd championship in their 50th season. 12 years later, the 12s lit up the Emerald City night once again.

Before I sign off for the next (roughly) 200/201 days (depending on how that whole Melbourne Week 1 game thing goes), I'd just like to say that even if I still barely get any views on these posts, I still just love making these so much and I really hope that those who have seen these have enjoyed my second season of SortaPicks (and first with a name). Of the four seasons I've watched the NFL, this one had to be my favorite with just how unpredictable and dramatic it was (even if it meant my actual picks weren't so good), not to mention one of the most all-around thrilling postseasons the league has seen in years (other than a pretty underwhelming finale, obviously). As much as I love NASCAR and all the other sports, I'm still gonna be missing the absurdity of the current NFL and especially making these picks the next 6 months. (Please don't blow it, UFL and rogue-less, soon-to-be-neutered CFL.) But until then, I'm Sorta and I'm sorry you had to read this. Take care of yourselves.

Super Bowl LX Pick: 1/1, or 100%
2025/26 Final NFL Picks: 187.5/285 or 65.8% (4.4 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024/25)
2025 NFL Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% (4.6 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024)
2025/26 NFL Playoffs Picks: 8/13, or 61.5% (exactly the same as 2024/25)

February 20, 2026 at 11:52 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025/26 NFL Super Bowl LX Pick
#nfl #nflplayoffs #playoffs #superbowllx #superbowl #superbowl60

*Super Bowl LX (N1 SEA v. A2 NE): For the 60th Super Bowl, we have a rematch of one of the all-time classics, although these two teams are very different from what they were 11 years ago. In one corner, the Seattle Seahawks, who after years of struggling to remain a true contender since the pick to end all picks, have finally found their groove again. Mike Macdonald has done a spectacular job coaching what was a decent, but unspectacular team a few years ago into something so much more, although their recent gains in talent definitely help. An explosive set of offensive weapons, an amazing defense with the "Dark Side" (it's no Legion of Boom name-wise, but they certainly play good enough to warrant the comparisons), and of course the remarkable story of Sam Darnold. From just another Jets bust seeing ghosts to making defenses see ghosts all year long (well, other than the Rams for a bit, but boy, did he figure things out against them once the time came). He's not the first QB to have a remarkable run from the bottom to the Super Bowl, but now it's a question of if he'll soar to the occasion like Kurt Warner or crumble under the brightest lights like Rich Gannon.

To complete this rapid climb to the top, this new generation of Seahawks will have to avenge the loss that doomed the last great generation of Seahawks by stopping the New England Patriots. Drake Maye have needed some help in 2024, but there's no "Maye" about this: everything this team needed to turn around went right in 2025. Mike Vrabel, free from the shackles of the inept Adams family (no, not that one much to Nashville's chagrin), has returned home and brought this team every bit of spark they could have asked for and so much more. Drake Maye came just a stray (honestly kinda understandable) Herbert vote away from winning MVP in a spectacular season. That said, it was against a historically easy schedule, and against 3 outstanding defenses, while he's made the plays when he's had to, it's been a much bigger struggle in the playoffs. Yet that's only opened up the opportunity for this defense to turn everyone's heads, as they've played absolutely lights out through 3 games. In fact, I feel like that defense alone should be enough to make this potentially an interesting game, despite Seattle understandably being the favorite. (Not exactly unheard of for a rebuilt New England team with a gritty defense to give an NFC West team an unexpectedly hard time.) At the same time, though, this Seahawks offense is clearly the best they'll face all postseason, and it should definitely be their toughest test. Combined with the Dark Side being quite hungry against an offense that hasn't been very pretty even in victory lately, while I definitely see New England putting up a good fight, I think in the end, the 12s will return home with a 12-year drought snapped. I pick the Seattle Seahawks to exorcise over a decade of demons and end their first half-century with a bang by bringing the Emerald City its 2nd Lombardi Trophy.

2025/26 NFL Picks so far (up to Conference Championships): 186.5/284, or 65.7% (4.7 points worse than 2024/25)
2024/25 Super Bowl LIX Pick: 0/1, or 0%
2024/25 Final NFL Picks: 200/285, or 70.2%

February 8, 2026 at 11:08 PM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Round Recap
#nfl #nflrecap #nflplayoffs #playoffs #conferencechampionship #superbowl #superbowllx #superbowl60 #patriots #seahawks #sortasports #sortapicks

*Patriots-Broncos (❌): Well, Stidham tried his best. For like a quarter. But while Denver has plenty of reason to wonder "what if" over Nix's injury (or for that matter Sean Payton's idiocy on 4th down in the 1st quarter), I don't know if even 2013 Peyton Manning (definitely not 2015 Peyton) could have gotten Denver very far downfield in the 2nd half with that absolute blizzard (god bless the domeless stadiums/gen), as well as the Patriots defense. Boy, have we all slept on that New England defense for too long and the carrying they've had to do. Drake Maye has gotten rocked all postseason (although he at least made some huge plays on his feet), but the Pats defense has still been terrific enough to allow New England to secure a record-extending 12th Super Bowl berth. (For any of my fellow pre-Super Bowl pedantics, this is their 13th championship appearance when counting that 1963 AFL Championship shitshow to San Diego of all teams that made their humiliating Super Bowl XX cameo almost look like a nail-biter. Almost.) And goddamn, do I feel lucky to have not given a shit about football yet in the 2010s or I would be all-in on joining the salt bath lol. (I may be miserable over my team right now, but to flex about how we peaked 4 years ago, I'm just saying, Who else Dey think gonna win the AFC since prime Pokémon Go besides New England and Kansas City?)

*Rams-Seahawks (✅): Few rivalries have had years as great recently as Rams-Seahawks in 2025. After two thrillers in the regular season, their rubber match lived up to the hype. It looked like a huge start for Seattle, but once the Rams locked in, we were in for a thriller. Stafford did all he could to keep Los Angeles's title hopes alive, but not only did the Rams' special teams continue to implode, but Sam Darnold showed his comeback in Week 16 wasn't a fluke and finally figured the Rams up. After playing catch-up all night, Stafford almost put the Rams over the top, but just couldn't thread the needle, and the zombie finally went down. The Rams showed their gutsiness even more than usual this entire season, but ultimately, it's the NFC's most complete team this year winning the Lamar Hunt Trophy, and the 12s are now hoping to end a 12-year title drought. And meanwhile Vikings and Jets fans can yet again have plenty to talk about while drowning out their suburbs over Sam Darnold going from yet another Jets bust to worth dumping for Mr. 9 to being a Super Bowl QB. The football gods really are cruel bastards, huh.

29th and 30th teams voted out and the final 2 members of our jury: Denver Broncos and Los Angeles Rams. The tribe has spoken.
[2 more playoff torches and final 2 jury seats taken, Survivor-style]
Congratulations, Patriots and Seahawks. You've gone as far as you can in this game. The power now shifts not to the jury of 12 you partially contributed to voting out (they're just there to squirm lol), but to your own skills. Two weeks from now, one more torch will be snuffed and one of you will join immortality. See you in Santa Clara.
[Patriots and Seahawks sitting ready to play in their own Final Tribal Council in Santa Clara]

2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Picks: 1/2, or 50%
2025/26 NFL Playoff Picks so far (up to Conference Championships): 7/12, or 58.3%
2025/26 NFL Picks so far (Regular Season + Playoffs): 186.5/284, or 65.7% (4.7 points worse than 2024/25)

February 2, 2026 at 7:32 AM

SortaNonymous

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Picks
#nfl #nflplayoffs #playoffs #conferencechampionship #nflconferencechampionship #sortasports #sortapicks

*AFC Championship Game - AFC2 Patriots @ AFC1 Broncos (Sunday at 3:00 pm Eastern on CBS and Paramount+): Bo Nix injuring his ankle literal moments before his first playoff win is an absolute shock, and Jarrett Stidham will have an uphill battle replacing him. But while this Denver defense had some struggles against Buffalo, they still got 4 picks off Josh Allen, and while Drake Maye's done enough to put the points on the board when needed to, this postseason has been far from a walk in the park for Drake Maye, who's now staring down his 3rd terrific defense in a row. As the last 2 weeks have proven though, this New England defense shouldn't be underestimated either. This feels like it will be an absolute defensive slugfest the likes of which we haven't seen this deep into a season in years, but in the end, I feel like the Broncos will do just enough to scrape out their 9th Lamar Hunt Trophy and return to the Super Bowl after a rough decade away for the Mile High Gang.

NFC Championship Game - NFC5 Rams @ NFC1 Seahawks (Sunday at 6:30 pm Eastern on Fox): Just the 6th division rivalry conference championship game post-realignment (funnily enough, half of them different NFC West matchups - sorry, Arizona), these feel like two very different teams. The Rams have had to scrape and claw for two straight dramatic road wins where they needed big plays on both sides of the ball to escape alive. Then there's the Seahawks, who after, already being the closest thing to a great team all year, made good use of their bye week by demolishing the 49ers last week (which also has them with the chance to join rare company of defeating multiple division rivals in the same postseason). This looks like Seattle's game to lose on paper, but I really feel like this Rams team, as they often tend to do, won't give up without a fight, especially since they know how to give Sam Darnold a hard time. This very rivalry gave us two of the most dramatic games of the regular season, and it feels fitting that after splitting those games, they'll go blow-for-blow to decide who survives to Santa Clara (funnily enough where one of their other rivals plays) and who will be the final team to come up painfully short of the big dance. In the end, though, I think the Seahawks ultimately gut out their 4th George Halas Trophy and their first Super Bowl berth in 11 years. With that said, best of luck, Darnold.

2025/26 Picks so far (up to Divisional): 185.5/282, or 65.8%
2024 Conference Championship Picks: 1/2, or 50%
2024 Picks (up to Conference Championship): 200/284, or 70.4%

January 25, 2026 at 6:06 AM

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