austin, a person
@austinaperson.bsky.social
it's not you; it's i
ICYMI
I hate the acronym “IYKYK” that’s shit a hyena would say
October 1, 2026 at 4:06 PM
ICYMI
Daughter took this one
September 25, 2026 at 11:58 PM
Daughter took this one
errybody post nyc skies now
September 25, 2026 at 11:28 PM
errybody post nyc skies now
Gotta hand it to her, it was some kind of unity
September 11, 2026 at 11:11 PM
Gotta hand it to her, it was some kind of unity
Dude who sits across from me at the office was lowkey panicking and started sweating more as he asked around and realized nobody else had noticed or cared
With ChatGPT down it's time to email your biggest enemy at work and cause a nervous breakdown as they are unable to respond
September 4, 2026 at 7:24 PM
Dude who sits across from me at the office was lowkey panicking and started sweating more as he asked around and realized nobody else had noticed or cared
What do we want?
Arrests by judicial warrant!
When do we want it?
As soon as next January!
Arrests by judicial warrant!
When do we want it?
As soon as next January!
Jeffries stop short of committing to holding a vote to abolish ICE is he's House Speaker next January, but says he's "committed to dramatically reforming ICE ... the masks should come off, body cameras should come on, judicial warrants should be required."
August 16, 2026 at 9:23 PM
What do we want?
Arrests by judicial warrant!
When do we want it?
As soon as next January!
Arrests by judicial warrant!
When do we want it?
As soon as next January!
Reposted by austin, a person
anyway maybe the wrong time but one thing i did to procrastinate on writing last week is watch a bunch of davinci resolve tutorials to make it look like mulholland drive aired on the disney channel in 2007
January 17, 2025 at 12:21 AM
anyway maybe the wrong time but one thing i did to procrastinate on writing last week is watch a bunch of davinci resolve tutorials to make it look like mulholland drive aired on the disney channel in 2007
A Zodiac but for twitter main characters. Watch out, we’ve got bean dad retrograde
August 11, 2026 at 5:31 PM
A Zodiac but for twitter main characters. Watch out, we’ve got bean dad retrograde
Cannot overstate the extent to which this movie delivers on its title. We’re in Snakes on a Plane, Hobo with a Shotgun territory
July 19, 2026 at 11:48 AM
Cannot overstate the extent to which this movie delivers on its title. We’re in Snakes on a Plane, Hobo with a Shotgun territory
The Nightmare Before Flatware
Upsetting flatware continued
July 15, 2026 at 3:10 PM
The Nightmare Before Flatware
The 6 y.o. just presented me with a written bucket list. Two items. Learn math, make $
July 5, 2026 at 11:51 PM
The 6 y.o. just presented me with a written bucket list. Two items. Learn math, make $
Oh and sage is the worse fresh herb by an order of magnitude
What’s the most widely enjoyed food that you can’t stand, not because of allergies or anything but just because you hate it?
June 16, 2026 at 12:54 AM
Oh and sage is the worse fresh herb by an order of magnitude
For anyone who’s reading or looking to read the new George Saunders novel, here’s quite the news hook 📚💙
Lee Raymond, more responsible for warming the earth than any other human, dead at 87
open.substack.com/pub/billmcki...
open.substack.com/pub/billmcki...
On the flow of money, and of time
Earth's most important climate denier dies at 87
open.substack.com
June 12, 2026 at 1:33 AM
For anyone who’s reading or looking to read the new George Saunders novel, here’s quite the news hook 📚💙
Would trade my soul for a Spoon River Anthology situation with laments from Grave Digger Joe, Cousin Fucker Billy (from the track), and Virgil
Allegedly the banned-for-life list from the soon to shutter Parkview Tavern.
June 10, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Would trade my soul for a Spoon River Anthology situation with laments from Grave Digger Joe, Cousin Fucker Billy (from the track), and Virgil
OPINION: Graduates Who Cheered Stumblebot Show Themselves Out of Touch with Real Americans (Tech Billionaires)
BREAKING: AI Robot Trips Over Stairs on the Way to Give Commencement Speech, Dies
May 22, 2026 at 12:02 AM
OPINION: Graduates Who Cheered Stumblebot Show Themselves Out of Touch with Real Americans (Tech Billionaires)
Apple TV prestige miniseries when
Does everyone here know about "Here Comes the Pizza"? One of the greatest moments in sports broadcasting?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufSQ...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufSQ...
The Entire "Here Comes The Pizza" Affair
YouTube video by Paul Kafasis
www.youtube.com
May 14, 2026 at 7:33 PM
Apple TV prestige miniseries when
Reposted by austin, a person
Love cubing tofu because it's as close as I'll ever get to doing the samurai thing where you slice a guy in half and he falls apart later
May 5, 2026 at 9:04 PM
Love cubing tofu because it's as close as I'll ever get to doing the samurai thing where you slice a guy in half and he falls apart later
Reposted by austin, a person
Procrastination is a dish best served some other time.
May 5, 2026 at 1:43 PM
Procrastination is a dish best served some other time.
Digging this NDA’s chill vibes
April 16, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Digging this NDA’s chill vibes
Autocorrect keeps changing marxism and leninism to maxxing and looks in my essay about maxxinglooks
How is TJ Maxx not getting in on "looksmaxxing," riding it hard for a fiscal quarter of advertising campaign, then walking away with the satisfaction of having murdered the trend.
April 16, 2026 at 12:19 AM
Autocorrect keeps changing marxism and leninism to maxxing and looks in my essay about maxxinglooks
Gonzo
Which celebrity do you want to be your death doula. I'm going to go with Keanu Reeves.
Nicole Kidman revealed that she is training to become a death doula, similar to Chloé Zhao, who is also training to be a death doula.
April 15, 2026 at 1:13 AM
Gonzo
Just learned from an RFP that there are “7 abandoned historic restroom buildings buried beneath the Coney Island Boardwalk” and I need these haunted bathrooms to be a 16-bit dungeon crawl game immediately
April 14, 2026 at 1:09 PM
Just learned from an RFP that there are “7 abandoned historic restroom buildings buried beneath the Coney Island Boardwalk” and I need these haunted bathrooms to be a 16-bit dungeon crawl game immediately
He’s a ten but only when you ask him his favorite pearl jam album
April 12, 2026 at 1:05 PM
He’s a ten but only when you ask him his favorite pearl jam album