Unsanctioned Buffoonery
@bemopolis.bsky.social
Get your toothbrush and whatever.
I replaced a toilet seat three weeks ago and I've just received my *sixth* email from Home Depot asking me to review it. Motherfucker, it is a goddam toilet seat and I have a normal-sized ass. If your shitter ring didn't work you would have heard from me by the end of that day. Thirsty assholes.
September 16, 2026 at 3:13 PM
I replaced a toilet seat three weeks ago and I've just received my *sixth* email from Home Depot asking me to review it. Motherfucker, it is a goddam toilet seat and I have a normal-sized ass. If your shitter ring didn't work you would have heard from me by the end of that day. Thirsty assholes.
Kash Patel: "Applicants who have engaged in beastiliaty means they were victims of beastility because they were forced to do so. At this FBI we are not going to criminalize and prevent victims from serving."
September 15, 2026 at 4:16 PM
Seeing Mitch in his current state has really stirred up some feelings. Like for one, I just really, really hope he is in agonizing torment.
September 15, 2026 at 3:07 PM
Seeing Mitch in his current state has really stirred up some feelings. Like for one, I just really, really hope he is in agonizing torment.
I, for one, would be happy to see him be the 48th president. Hopefully today.
bsky.app/profile/poli...
bsky.app/profile/poli...
Vance met with ‘48’ chants in closed-door convention event
Vance met with ‘48’ chants in closed-door convention event
The vice president presented a stark choice in 2026 between common sense Republicans and the “crazy people” on the left.
dlvr.it
September 10, 2026 at 10:32 PM
I, for one, would be happy to see him be the 48th president. Hopefully today.
bsky.app/profile/poli...
bsky.app/profile/poli...
Reposted by Unsanctioned Buffoonery
Imagine scolding people laughing at the 'it's good to die from gun violence because it gives us unfettered access to guns' guy getting got by a gun under a sign that says prove me wrong like I'm sorry grow up
September 10, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Imagine scolding people laughing at the 'it's good to die from gun violence because it gives us unfettered access to guns' guy getting got by a gun under a sign that says prove me wrong like I'm sorry grow up
So, did we ever find out why King Dipshit’s hair was black last weekend or nah
September 10, 2026 at 5:20 PM
So, did we ever find out why King Dipshit’s hair was black last weekend or nah
My thing with the trans debate is that I don't even have to engage with it. Oh, you've decided to try to convince me of your position by arguing about how someone identifies, which I could give shit about, in relation to sports, something I actively hate? Good job, idiot.
September 10, 2026 at 2:14 AM
My thing with the trans debate is that I don't even have to engage with it. Oh, you've decided to try to convince me of your position by arguing about how someone identifies, which I could give shit about, in relation to sports, something I actively hate? Good job, idiot.
September 8, 2026 at 7:12 PM
Reposted by Unsanctioned Buffoonery
Not when he’s got his prescription pad out
JD Vance’s Mom Says She’d ‘Probably Punch’ Abdul El-Sayed
JD Vance’s Mom Says She’d ‘Probably Punch’ Abdul El-Sayed
Vice President JD Vance’s mother, Beverly Vance Aikins, said Wednesday that she would “probably punch” Democratic Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed if the two ever came face-to-face.
The post JD Vance’s Mom Says She’d ‘Probably Punch’ Abdul El-Sayed first appeared on Mediaite.
dlvr.it
September 2, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Not when he’s got his prescription pad out
Reposted by Unsanctioned Buffoonery
Well yeah she's an adult
Fox News Host Tells AOC, ‘Girl, No Conservative Would Want To Date You’
Fox News Host Tells AOC, ‘Girl, No Conservative Would Want To Date You’
Fox News host Julie Banderas insisted that "no conservative" would ever want to date Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and that only a "brave soul" would want to father her children.
The post Fox News Host Tells AOC, ‘Girl, No Conservative Would Want To Date You’ first appeared on Mediaite.
dlvr.it
September 2, 2026 at 1:53 AM
Well yeah she's an adult
“.. One Pentagon memo about navy funding seen by the Guardian warns that there are ‘shortfalls in payroll’ accounts due to the department ‘raiding’ them to fund combat operations.”
@theguardian.com
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...
@theguardian.com
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...
August 28, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Reposted by Unsanctioned Buffoonery
Weirdly this story about trying to quit society & discovering the Panopticon won't let you quit feels more current every year that passes.
60 years ago today, filming on “The Prisoner” TV series starring Patrick McGoohan began, with filming of some of the iconic opening title sequence in London. Photo via UnMutual
August 28, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Weirdly this story about trying to quit society & discovering the Panopticon won't let you quit feels more current every year that passes.
August 27, 2026 at 5:50 PM
August 24, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Evangelical EXCELLENCE. I love to make up a whole new bible that's about sucking up to your boss and going to the store.
Buried in this @cnn.com piece: in Dec 2019, Harp appears to have literally inserted Trump’s name (specially, his Twitter handle) into biblical scripture. www.cnn.com/2026/08/22/p...
August 22, 2026 at 7:42 PM
Reposted by Unsanctioned Buffoonery
imagine getting trapped in the ballsack like when U2 got trapped in the lemon
August 22, 2026 at 5:52 PM
imagine getting trapped in the ballsack like when U2 got trapped in the lemon
He was on an episode of GROWING PAINS as a cab driver with the ID “J. Grumby”, meaning that “Boner” Stabone and Gilligan are in the same cinematic universe.
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
August 21, 2026 at 5:27 PM
He was on an episode of GROWING PAINS as a cab driver with the ID “J. Grumby”, meaning that “Boner” Stabone and Gilligan are in the same cinematic universe.
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
Played Col Blake in the movie M*A*S*H, and died one day after his TV counterpart McLean Stevenson.
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
August 20, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Played Col Blake in the movie M*A*S*H, and died one day after his TV counterpart McLean Stevenson.
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
I always thought the Beatles biopics were a bad idea. This image only seems to confirm that.
August 17, 2026 at 4:45 PM
August 16, 2026 at 10:50 PM
They’re calling it the most predictable purchase of the year.
August 15, 2026 at 10:36 PM
They’re calling it the most predictable purchase of the year.
Reposted by Unsanctioned Buffoonery
yeah man "woke 1" sucked ass. I "woke 1" morning from uneasy dreams to find myself transformed into a giant insect
August 13, 2026 at 7:41 PM
yeah man "woke 1" sucked ass. I "woke 1" morning from uneasy dreams to find myself transformed into a giant insect
It wasn’t until years later that I, a wee innocent at the time, understood what her two-fried-eggs-on-the-front-of-her-T-shirt-look-on-Match-Game was all about.
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
August 11, 2026 at 6:22 PM
It wasn’t until years later that I, a wee innocent at the time, understood what her two-fried-eggs-on-the-front-of-her-T-shirt-look-on-Match-Game was all about.
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
bsky.app/profile/sitc...
Reposted by Unsanctioned Buffoonery
is their farm built on an ancient burial ground’s toilet
RECALL: Taylor Farms is pulling pre-packaged salsa and guacamole for contaminated jalapenos.
Taylor Farms recalls salsa and guacamole over salmonella risk
Taylor Farms on Sunday said it was recalling more than a dozen prepared food items containing jalapeños, including salsas and guacamole, from retailers over concerns about potential salmonella conta...
www.reuters.com
August 10, 2026 at 3:32 AM
is their farm built on an ancient burial ground’s toilet