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Newsishy
@newsishy.com
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Newsishy @newsishy.com · Mar 28
Sir David Attenborough Turns 100 This May - It’s About Time The Truth Be Told.
We can exclusively reveal that Sir David Attenborough is the mastermind behind a global conspiracy to eliminate all life.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/sir-...

#davidattenborough #virus #BBC #satire #newsishy
Sir David Attenborough Turns 100 This May - It’s About Time The Truth Be Told. | NEWSISHY
Incredible revelations about the broadcaster and nations favorite will shock the world.
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Reposted by Newsishy
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Labour Under Pressure To Relieve Overcrowded Prisons. Inmates To Serve 1/500th Of Their Sentence.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/1-50...

#uk #prison #lifesentence #Crime #satire #newsishy
Labour Under Pressure To Relieve Overcrowded Prisons. Inmates To Serve 1/500th Of Their Sentence. | NEWSISHY
The UK’s severely overcrowded prison system is at breaking point.
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March 12, 2026 at 10:24 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Solution Invented To Combat The Scourge Of Solar Panels.

newsishy.com/stories/luna...

#climatechange #solarpanels #CarbonNeutral #satire #newsishy
Solution Invented To Combat The Scourge Of Solar Panels. | NEWSISHY
As we know solar panels damage the environment by stealing the sun's light and energy which plants and trees need to grow.
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March 6, 2026 at 9:50 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Protein Works, Protein Sells.

Protein is selling stuff fast! Companies have realised how much people love protein and they are not afraid of including it in their products or at least claiming it’s in there.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/prot...

#protein #gains #satire #newsishy
Protein Works, Protein Sells. | NEWSISHY
Protein is selling stuff fast! Companies have realised how much people love protein and they are not afraid of including it in their products or at least claiming it’s in there.
newsishy.com
March 4, 2026 at 9:24 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Maternity & Paternity Leave to be Extended to 16 Years.

Major overhaul announced after some MPs fell pregnant and were unhappy with the statutory 52 weeks given to them.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/maternity-paternity/

#ukpolitics #maternity #paternityleave #satire #newsishy
Maternity & Paternity Leave to be Extended to 16 Years. Some MPs fell pregnant and were unhappy with the statutory 52 weeks given to them. FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/maternity-paternity/ #ukpolitics #maternity #paternityleave #satire #newsishy
March 2, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Obese Seagulls In Cleethorpes Caught Placing Fast Food Orders Using Stolen Phones

newsishy.com/stories/fat-...

#UK #Food #London #Animals #Satire #NEWSISHY
Obese Seagulls In Cleethorpes Caught Placing Fast Food Orders Using Stolen Phones
February 11, 2026 at 11:33 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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MP Wants Parents To Pimp 18+ Children On OnlyFans To Help With Rent.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/mp-o...

#onlyfans #costofliving #sexwork #satire #newsishy
MP Wants Parents To Pimp 18+ Children On OnlyFans To Help With Rent. | NEWSISHY
There is outrage today after a Labour MP suggested parents use their 18+ children as sex workers to assist with the cost of living.
newsishy.com
March 7, 2026 at 8:07 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Trumps First Ballroom Event to Be A Saddam Style Purge.

The event scheduled for the 21st January 2029 was leaked to Newsishy in return for money.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/trum...

#Trump #saddam #satire #newsishy
Trumps First Ballroom Event to Be A Saddam Style Purge. | NEWSISHY
The event scheduled for the 21st January 2029 was leaked to Newsishy in return for money.
newsishy.com
March 5, 2026 at 9:38 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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6G Being Tested On The Ebola Frequency.

We were contacted by a whistle blower whose identity will not be revealed.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/6g-e...

#Ebola #6GNetwork #health #satire #newsishy
6G Being Tested On The Ebola Frequency. | NEWSISHY
Newsishy can report that the emerging technology of 6G communication is being tested on the extremely dangerous ebola frequency in secret.
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February 26, 2026 at 9:48 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Starbucks Launches 23000 Calorie Coffee.

Starbucks announced the release of its new drink and then had to defend the decision after details emerged of the enormous calorie content.
Named the Protein Health Terminator it...

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/2300...

#coffee #health #satire #newsishy
Starbucks Launches 23000 Calorie Coffee. Starbucks announced the release of its new drink and then had to defend the decision after details emerged of the enormous calorie content.
February 21, 2026 at 8:56 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Trump Becomes Buddhist After Visiting Massage Parlour.

There is shock worldwide today after President Trump apparently announced he has converted to Buddhism.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/trum...

#trump #Buddhism #Satire #NEWSISHY
Trump Becomes Buddhist After Visiting Massage Parlour. There is shock worldwide today after President Trump apparently announced he has converted to Buddhism.
February 22, 2026 at 8:45 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Squirrel Eats Homeless Man's Nuts.

In a horrifying incident a homeless man is being treated in hospital after being attacked by a squirrel following a heavy evening consuming super strength cider.

newsishy.com/stories/squi...

#wildlife #uknews #nature #Satire #NEWSISHY
Squirrel Eats Homeless Man's Nuts. In a horrifying incident a homeless man is being treated in hospital after being attacked by a squirrel following a heavy evening consuming super strength cider.
February 20, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Reposted by Newsishy
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𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝗱𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝗛𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗢𝗳 ‘𝗣𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝟭𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗧𝗼 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝟭𝟬𝟬% 𝗣𝗼𝗹𝘆𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗙𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗰𝗲.

A conglomerate of Asian clothing industry manufacturers has announced the world’s first sheep to produce a 100% polyester fleece.

newsishy.com/stories/poly...

#UK #science #sheep #Satire #NEWSISHY
A conglomerate of Asian clothing industry manufacturers has announced the successful breeding of the world’s first sheep to produce a 100% polyester fleece.
February 16, 2026 at 10:56 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗼 𝗚𝗼 𝗔𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱

The long awaited World Shoplifting Championship is to go ahead in March after terms have finally been agreed between businesses, participants and various police forces.

newsishy.com/stories/shop...

#UKnews #Crime #shoplifting #satire #newsishy
𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗼 𝗚𝗼 𝗔𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 The long awaited World Shoplifting Championship is to go ahead in March after terms have finally been agreed between businesses, participants and various police forces. Regional or individual country competitions will begin on March 1st 2026 with the finalists converging on London for a final week of thievery in the run up to Christmas.
February 15, 2026 at 9:20 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Council Pothole Repair Crews Kidnapped At Gunpoint.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/poth...

#uk #potholes #kidnappings #satire #newsishy
Council Pothole Repair Crews Kidnapped At Gunpoint. | NEWSISHY
An alarming trend has recently been identified of council pothole repair teams being taken at gunpoint to locations of pothole blackspots.
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March 15, 2026 at 8:12 AM
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UK Defence Budget Is Forcing Soldiers To Use Homemade Catapults On The Battlefield.

Serving members of the UK armed forces have come forward after the recent resignations to highlight how skint everyone is.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/brit...

#uknews #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
UK Defence Budget Is Forcing Soldiers To Use Homemade Catapults On The Battlefield. | NEWSISHY
Service members are also using their own pellet guns and baseball bats in skirmishes.
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June 13, 2026 at 3:26 PM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Emancipation Proclamation And The Thirteenth Amendment Were Never Signed says Trump.

On Fox News he stated they were never signed properly which creates a “wonderful opportunity” and a way “to make America truly great again”.

newsishy.com/stories/eman...

#UK #slavery #trump #Satire #NEWSISHY
Emancipation Proclamation And The Thirteenth Amendment Were Never Signed says Trump. They were never signed properly which creates a “wonderful opportunity” and a way “to make America truly great again”.
February 19, 2026 at 8:40 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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Trafalgar Square Food Stall KFP Refuses To Confirm Where It Gets Its Meat From.

KFP is under pressure to reveal where it gets its meat from after a customer found grey feathers in his
kebab.

newsishy.com/stories/traf...

#UK #Food #Business #Satire #NEWSISHY
A food stall which has been located at Trafalgar Square in London for over 15 years is under pressure to reveal where it gets its meat from after a customer found grey feathers in his kebab. KFP which is owned and run by Seth Sialis is a familiar sight at the tourist spot doing good business day and night selling his signature kebab meat burgers.
February 13, 2026 at 1:18 AM
Reposted by Newsishy
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TV Channels To Air Hour Long Gambling Ads With 3 Min Programs Every 20 Mins.

A major shift in the format of most of the UK's television channels is to be rolled out over the next 12 months.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/gamb...

#gambling #GamCare #UKTV #satire #newsishy
TV Channels To Air Hour Long Gambling Ads With 3 Min Programs Every 20 Mins | NEWSISHY
A major shift in the format of most of the UKs television channels is to be rolled out over the next 12 months.
newsishy.com
March 7, 2026 at 1:39 PM
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Bogey Picked During Thunder Storm Gains Sentience.

As Jake Joust sat on the sofa watching Countdown he was having a good old dig up the snooter trying to free the large bogey he could feel up there.

FULL STORY + MORE NEWS: newsishy.com/stories/sent...

#uknews #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
Bogey Picked During Thunder Storm Gains Sentience. | NEWSISHY
Baffled scientists are struggling to explain the phenomenon.
newsishy.com
June 10, 2026 at 1:23 PM
newsishy.com
Farage DNA Check Reveals Lineage Back To Ayatollah Khamenei.

After another arrest for indecent exposure Nigel’s DNA was taken and an officer secured a sample.

FULL STORY + MORE NEWS: newsishy.com/stories/fara...

#uklife #uknews #Farage #ReformUK #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
Farage DNA Check Reveals Lineage Back To Ayatollah Khamenei. | NEWSISHY
After another arrest for indecent exposure Nigel's DNA was taken and an officer secured a sample.
newsishy.com
June 5, 2026 at 1:43 PM
newsishy.com
Guide Dogs To Start Charging Owners By The Hour.

All new guide dogs will be trained to cease all assistance on the spot if regular payments are not made.

FULL STORY + MORE NEWS: newsishy.com

#uklife #uknews #guidedogs #therapydogsuk #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
Guide Dogs To Start Charging Owners By The Hour. All new guide dogs will be trained to cease all assistance on the spot if regular payments are not made. FULL STORY + MORE NEWS: https://newsishy.com #uklife #uknews #guidedogs #therapydogsuk #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
May 31, 2026 at 1:28 PM
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Fartmaxxer Misfires And Suffers Extreme Prolapse Live On Air.

Unfortunately one push too many is all it took for Leon to be hospitalised.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/fart...

#uklife #uknews #farting #maxxing #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
Fartmaxxer Misfires And Suffers Extreme Prolapse Live On Air. | NEWSISHY
The TikToker overdid it on a livestream to the horror of his fans.
newsishy.com
May 30, 2026 at 12:20 PM
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New Flash Splat Kills 0.01% Of All Known Germs.

The cleaning product retail industry has been rocked by a new spray from Flash which has, for the first time, been realistic about what its product does.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/flas...

#Allergies #germs #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
New Flash Splat Kills 0.01% Of All Known Germs. | NEWSISHY
The new cleaning spray is the first in the world to be realistic about the fact that most germs are totally fine.
newsishy.com
May 29, 2026 at 1:13 PM
newsishy.com
Hanta, Covid And Ebola Mutate And Merge to Become Cure For Cancer.

As with almost all cruise ships now, you sign a document declaring you will be tested twice daily.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/viru...

#UK #uknews #Hantavirus #Ebola #COVID19 #vaccine #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
Hanta, Covid And Ebola Mutate And Merge to Become Cure For Cancer. | NEWSISHY
The mutation has baffled scientists worldwide after preliminary tests proved it worked.
newsishy.com
May 27, 2026 at 9:30 AM
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New Dog Shaped Hotdogs Divide Culinary Experts.

Some people think they are a cute yummy thing to eat and others are disgusted at the very thought.

FULL STORY: newsishy.com/stories/dach...

#uk #uknews #dachshund #Dogs #hotdogs #parody #fakenews #satire #newsishy
New Dog Shaped Hotdogs Divide Culinary Experts. | NEWSISHY
The realistic sausages are a little too realistic for some people.
newsishy.com
May 26, 2026 at 4:14 AM