of all the people who've never stopped thinking about them I can assure you I never stopped thinking about them the hardest
November 5, 2026 at 4:46 AM
of all the people who've never stopped thinking about them I can assure you I never stopped thinking about them the hardest
“There’s no way this night could get any better,” we assure each other as we watch the skies over the White House for vultures.
November 4, 2026 at 7:47 AM
“There’s no way this night could get any better,” we assure each other as we watch the skies over the White House for vultures.
Separately, earlier today an American friend texted to assure me "America is back".
November 5, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Separately, earlier today an American friend texted to assure me "America is back".
Let me assure you. You were on the ballot.
November 4, 2026 at 5:09 AM
Let me assure you. You were on the ballot.
New members of the US Congress and representatives of the Democratic Party assure of continued support for Ukraine, - Zelensky.
Let’s hope so🥺
Let’s hope so🥺
November 7, 2026 at 1:15 PM
New members of the US Congress and representatives of the Democratic Party assure of continued support for Ukraine, - Zelensky.
Let’s hope so🥺
Let’s hope so🥺
As a budtender I can assure you this is true.
*looking at a bunch of political maps from the last 20 years*
legal weed makes people vote better
legal weed makes people vote better
November 4, 2026 at 3:40 AM
As a budtender I can assure you this is true.
Lots of us are supporting him financially to assure a fair count. If she sues, we will do more. Thank you for helping him!
November 6, 2026 at 4:21 AM
Lots of us are supporting him financially to assure a fair count. If she sues, we will do more. Thank you for helping him!
Pro tip: when a denied sub thanks you for something, tell it "I assure you, the pleasure's all mine"
November 6, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Pro tip: when a denied sub thanks you for something, tell it "I assure you, the pleasure's all mine"
Amid concerns about AI comedy content, I would like to assure everyone that the Philomena Cunk social media accounts are handmade.
*waves*
*waves*
November 6, 2026 at 8:01 AM
Amid concerns about AI comedy content, I would like to assure everyone that the Philomena Cunk social media accounts are handmade.
*waves*
*waves*
Ossoff: "We almost lost our way. But Georgia, for all our troubles, let me assure you tonight that propelled by this historic and undeniable victory I have no doubt we will overcome ... tonight we celebrate this victory, and tomorrow we get back to work!"
November 4, 2026 at 2:46 AM
Ossoff: "We almost lost our way. But Georgia, for all our troubles, let me assure you tonight that propelled by this historic and undeniable victory I have no doubt we will overcome ... tonight we celebrate this victory, and tomorrow we get back to work!"
I want to assure everyone that it is a good joke
November 4, 2026 at 10:25 PM
I want to assure everyone that it is a good joke
This stock has 60% annualized volatility, I can assure you that the following is absolutely correct: yes, it is something to sneeze at.
Oracle's already at it lowest point since early '24 so another 3% isn't something to sneeze at.
November 6, 2026 at 5:52 PM
This stock has 60% annualized volatility, I can assure you that the following is absolutely correct: yes, it is something to sneeze at.
I've had cases where America First Legal was on the other side. I assure you, however evil you think Stephen Miller is, he is worse.
His asshole firm argued in open court that Black teachers shouldn't teach white students because they're anti-white racists and contribute to white genocide.
His asshole firm argued in open court that Black teachers shouldn't teach white students because they're anti-white racists and contribute to white genocide.
November 7, 2026 at 2:54 PM
I've had cases where America First Legal was on the other side. I assure you, however evil you think Stephen Miller is, he is worse.
His asshole firm argued in open court that Black teachers shouldn't teach white students because they're anti-white racists and contribute to white genocide.
His asshole firm argued in open court that Black teachers shouldn't teach white students because they're anti-white racists and contribute to white genocide.
I assure you this suit is made from real pikachu
November 2, 2026 at 8:27 PM
I assure you this suit is made from real pikachu
Buddy I assure you if they're calling I've got the number blocked
November 6, 2026 at 11:23 PM
Buddy I assure you if they're calling I've got the number blocked
Of course you should Joy Post on this app. It’s never corny. It makes people feel good to see you happy.
And I can assure you, oppressors want to see you depressed & sad & as a result out of energy.
And I can assure you, oppressors want to see you depressed & sad & as a result out of energy.
November 7, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Of course you should Joy Post on this app. It’s never corny. It makes people feel good to see you happy.
And I can assure you, oppressors want to see you depressed & sad & as a result out of energy.
And I can assure you, oppressors want to see you depressed & sad & as a result out of energy.
I can assure you we are both.
November 4, 2026 at 11:33 PM
I can assure you we are both.
Can you imagine how many gender-flipped fanfic characters the chuds are going to have to generate to build the cope-cage for their - very straight, they assure you - masculinity now?
November 4, 2026 at 2:47 AM
Can you imagine how many gender-flipped fanfic characters the chuds are going to have to generate to build the cope-cage for their - very straight, they assure you - masculinity now?
Who is spending their own money on AI? I can assure you it isn’t me.
New analysis from @econopete.bsky.social, @nikdatta.bsky.social and patricksecon.bsky.social shows that UK consumer spending on AI products has grown from almost nothing in early 2023 to a billion-pound annual market.
buff.ly/mX7rRU2
buff.ly/mX7rRU2
November 5, 2026 at 10:28 AM
Who is spending their own money on AI? I can assure you it isn’t me.
i assure you even if cag has one i would @*&#%@#$%&#$#&@$@#%#@*&#%@#$$@#%#@*&#%@#$%&#$#&@$@#% her much the same--
November 4, 2026 at 11:21 PM
i assure you even if cag has one i would @*&#%@#$%&#$#&@$@#%#@*&#%@#$$@#%#@*&#%@#$%&#$#&@$@#% her much the same--
I assure all and sundry that I am not yet dead. One day! Hopefully rather far into the future! But not today.
All the recent celebrity news has got me twitchy. When looking at my news feed this morning:
"Author @scalzi.com " nooooooooooo
"Talks about his new novel", oh whew.
"Author @scalzi.com " nooooooooooo
"Talks about his new novel", oh whew.
November 2, 2026 at 2:14 PM
I assure all and sundry that I am not yet dead. One day! Hopefully rather far into the future! But not today.
Schumer's technically my senator and I can assure him: He's THE issue.
November 6, 2026 at 10:46 AM
Schumer's technically my senator and I can assure him: He's THE issue.
i can assure you, she dog.
November 6, 2026 at 1:57 PM
i can assure you, she dog.
My family is on Alabama and I can assure you that its a state full of blithering fucking morons. They will never wake up.
November 6, 2026 at 1:33 AM
My family is on Alabama and I can assure you that its a state full of blithering fucking morons. They will never wake up.
i cannot tell y'all how mad the worst fuckos get when Talarico invokes Jesus rhetoric, i assure the "flipping tables" line is going to send them into the stratosphere
November 4, 2026 at 5:47 AM
i cannot tell y'all how mad the worst fuckos get when Talarico invokes Jesus rhetoric, i assure the "flipping tables" line is going to send them into the stratosphere