penguins scored and then i had to sit through the sydney sweeney nude sports gambling ad #killmenow
September 30, 2026 at 11:54 PM
penguins scored and then i had to sit through the sydney sweeney nude sports gambling ad #killmenow
I was trying to think of how this competition could be made any more goofy, cockamamy, nickel-and-dime, flat-out lame, but my own soccer team beat me to it, with a one to zero shutout.
#LOFC #KillMeNow
#LOFC #KillMeNow
Our Chairman is also the Chairman of Jersey Mike’s, the greatest subs in the world, so you can all just hate us now.
Also, we’ve just dropped this season’s 4th kit.
#LOFC #EmbarrassingMate #Idiocracy
Also, we’ve just dropped this season’s 4th kit.
#LOFC #EmbarrassingMate #Idiocracy
September 22, 2026 at 5:34 PM
I was trying to think of how this competition could be made any more goofy, cockamamy, nickel-and-dime, flat-out lame, but my own soccer team beat me to it, with a one to zero shutout.
#LOFC #KillMeNow
#LOFC #KillMeNow
omg today I’m trying out the famous Hailey Bieber lick an eyeball and survive on eyeball juice diet today🤗
#HaileyBieber #diet #killmenow #whitegirl #girliepopcolonialism
#HaileyBieber #diet #killmenow #whitegirl #girliepopcolonialism
September 21, 2026 at 5:40 AM
omg today I’m trying out the famous Hailey Bieber lick an eyeball and survive on eyeball juice diet today🤗
#HaileyBieber #diet #killmenow #whitegirl #girliepopcolonialism
#HaileyBieber #diet #killmenow #whitegirl #girliepopcolonialism
E: we must first agree on how we are using "you" and "are" before moving onto the term "Robot" 1/killmenow
September 18, 2026 at 2:22 PM
E: we must first agree on how we are using "you" and "are" before moving onto the term "Robot" 1/killmenow
And then there's twilightity pinkie pieity fluttershyity rainbow dashity applejackity
#killmenow
#fluttershy #fleshcube #twilightsparkle #rarity
#killmenow
#fluttershy #fleshcube #twilightsparkle #rarity
September 16, 2026 at 3:03 AM
And then there's twilightity pinkie pieity fluttershyity rainbow dashity applejackity
#killmenow
#fluttershy #fleshcube #twilightsparkle #rarity
#killmenow
#fluttershy #fleshcube #twilightsparkle #rarity
A huge argument just happened at home between my mum and my brother and my brother's just ran away and said he ain't coming back
#fml #whatthefuckdoido #killmenow
#fml #whatthefuckdoido #killmenow
September 13, 2026 at 9:10 PM
A huge argument just happened at home between my mum and my brother and my brother's just ran away and said he ain't coming back
#fml #whatthefuckdoido #killmenow
#fml #whatthefuckdoido #killmenow
I have a tooth infection! Wheeeee! #KillMeNow
September 13, 2026 at 8:06 AM
I have a tooth infection! Wheeeee! #KillMeNow
On the coach to Exeter & woman nearby arguing whether Exeter is near London, & bloke with her has already eaten an egg sandwich, sausage roll & now started on a bag of Maltesers #killmenow #walsallfc
September 5, 2026 at 8:51 AM
On the coach to Exeter & woman nearby arguing whether Exeter is near London, & bloke with her has already eaten an egg sandwich, sausage roll & now started on a bag of Maltesers #killmenow #walsallfc
Picked up the wrong order at the kebab #KillMeNow
September 4, 2026 at 7:39 PM
Picked up the wrong order at the kebab #KillMeNow
Fuck me, I’ve had to sit though our game yesterday, then see the Ev get a 91st minute equaliser, then see Newcastle, the team that were apparently in disarray a week or so ago win comfortably at Spurs, then watch Chelsea & Utd today.
It’s gotta be the worst bank holiday weekend ever!!
#KillMeNow
It’s gotta be the worst bank holiday weekend ever!!
#KillMeNow
August 30, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Fuck me, I’ve had to sit though our game yesterday, then see the Ev get a 91st minute equaliser, then see Newcastle, the team that were apparently in disarray a week or so ago win comfortably at Spurs, then watch Chelsea & Utd today.
It’s gotta be the worst bank holiday weekend ever!!
#KillMeNow
It’s gotta be the worst bank holiday weekend ever!!
#KillMeNow
August 25, 2026 at 3:39 PM
Just spin it! you’re good at that, Brian Killmenow
August 21, 2026 at 2:52 PM
Just spin it! you’re good at that, Brian Killmenow
(I’m SO much fun at parties. Can prove that with the equation where partyfun=points scored to the power of killmenow)
August 20, 2026 at 12:28 AM
(I’m SO much fun at parties. Can prove that with the equation where partyfun=points scored to the power of killmenow)
Ho ça va avec votre pluie et vos gouttières qui n’inondent pas un mur et n’infiltrent pas l’eau ds la toiture!
#jalousie #killmenow
#jalousie #killmenow
August 19, 2026 at 7:55 PM
Ho ça va avec votre pluie et vos gouttières qui n’inondent pas un mur et n’infiltrent pas l’eau ds la toiture!
#jalousie #killmenow
#jalousie #killmenow
August 12, 2026 at 10:16 PM
My colleague has his earbuds in and is sing/humming #killmenow
August 11, 2026 at 4:35 PM
My colleague has his earbuds in and is sing/humming #killmenow
I just accidentally pulled a hangnail back #killmenow
July 31, 2026 at 3:57 PM
I just accidentally pulled a hangnail back #killmenow
Thought I would treat myself to a Caribou this morning and then proceeded to spill it all over my shirt so today is gonna be fantastic!
#killmenow
#killmenow
July 30, 2026 at 12:51 PM
Thought I would treat myself to a Caribou this morning and then proceeded to spill it all over my shirt so today is gonna be fantastic!
#killmenow
#killmenow
i missed the dang qotsa lottery period because i put it wrong in my calendar killmenow. i don't have tons of experience with concerts in japan... but i'm basically screwed, right? resale isn't a thing?
July 30, 2026 at 2:55 AM
i missed the dang qotsa lottery period because i put it wrong in my calendar killmenow. i don't have tons of experience with concerts in japan... but i'm basically screwed, right? resale isn't a thing?
Also the only people that have ever wanted to date me are of the ♀ gender except for this one time that my friend was making s🫶x jokes about me behind my back when I was in 7th grade #killmenow
July 30, 2026 at 1:09 AM
Also the only people that have ever wanted to date me are of the ♀ gender except for this one time that my friend was making s🫶x jokes about me behind my back when I was in 7th grade #killmenow
They might be giants b2b Weird Al Yankovic killmenow
July 24, 2026 at 10:11 AM
They might be giants b2b Weird Al Yankovic killmenow
All along, said I wasn't so much worried about #Covid killing me as I was having it make me *wish* it had.
I was right.
What LC is doing to me is literal torture.
Every. Day.
Listen to me - or this guy - or not. As he said, "the choice is yours".
#FuckingCovid #LongCovid #KillMeNow...Seriously
I was right.
What LC is doing to me is literal torture.
Every. Day.
Listen to me - or this guy - or not. As he said, "the choice is yours".
#FuckingCovid #LongCovid #KillMeNow...Seriously
A mask is very quick and simple to put on. A Covid infection could last days or weeks and lead to Long Covid that could last a lifetime. The choice is yours but I choose to mask.
July 9, 2026 at 4:18 AM
All along, said I wasn't so much worried about #Covid killing me as I was having it make me *wish* it had.
I was right.
What LC is doing to me is literal torture.
Every. Day.
Listen to me - or this guy - or not. As he said, "the choice is yours".
#FuckingCovid #LongCovid #KillMeNow...Seriously
I was right.
What LC is doing to me is literal torture.
Every. Day.
Listen to me - or this guy - or not. As he said, "the choice is yours".
#FuckingCovid #LongCovid #KillMeNow...Seriously
Sedím ve frontě na film na KVIFF. Všechno by bylo v pohodě, mám jídlo pití kafe, ale vedle mě je takový ten malý/střední podnikatel a celou dobu řeší na telefonu. A vykládá historky. #killmenow
July 8, 2026 at 12:10 PM
Sedím ve frontě na film na KVIFF. Všechno by bylo v pohodě, mám jídlo pití kafe, ale vedle mě je takový ten malý/střední podnikatel a celou dobu řeší na telefonu. A vykládá historky. #killmenow