Women’s heavy load equals men’s lightness

What happens when you grow up learning that someone else’s needs, emotions, or version of reality matter more than your own?In this episode, I’m joined by Amy Marlow-MaCoy, MEd, LPC, to talk about narcissistic abuse and its relationship to complex trauma. We unpack narcissistic family systems, gaslighting and DARVO, the roles children can take on in these families, and why survivors may struggle with self-trust, perfectionism, overfunctioning, guilt, and boundaries long after childhood.We also talk about what happens when you begin changing these patterns, the complexity of low and no contact, and what it can look like to rebuild a relationship with yourself after years of learning to question your own experience. About AmyAmy Marlow-MaCoy, MEd, LPC, is an internationally known clinician and trainer specializing in gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, and complex developmental and relational trauma. She is the author of The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook and co-author of The Clinician’s Guide to Treating Adult Children of Narcissists. Amy is also the founder of The Courageous Heart Institute, a learning community for clinicians specializing in treating survivors of narcissistic abuse.Amy has advanced training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, Brainspotting, and other trauma treatment approaches, and provides therapy, consultation, supervision, and continuing education for clinicians working with narcissistic abuse and complex relational trauma.Follow Amy on Instagram and Facebook!Check out her website hereThanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcswLearn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim TherapyThis podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Curate Feeds | Make Collections | Customize Email Briefs

Curate Feeds | Make Collections | Customize Email Briefs

Have you ever been told “you’re so strong” and felt a heavy weight drop in your chest instead of a sense of pride? For so many women, being praised for handling everything has quietly turned from a compliment into an expectation—and eventually, a prison. If you are the person everyone depends on, the one who never falls apart and carries the emotional load for everyone else, you are not alone.

Why high-capacity neurodivergent adults can see the overfunctioning loop clearly—and still get pulled back into it.

Why does a job you are visibly good at cost you so much, and why does everything wobble the week you step back from it?

I was raised to be an overfunctioner. Rural settings, constant moves, and instability created a parentified child who grew into a hyper-empathetic, overfunctioning adult. In every relationship and every career setting, I showed up as the door prize…the unexpected dynamo who quietly won everyone over. “I just want to be a receptionist,” a partner teased me in a sing-song voice when, two years later, I was managing Human Resources.

Alt: Bill Nye The Science Guy: Consider The Following