Unless you wear a red hat.
March 18, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Unless you wear a red hat.
Unless it's measles. Or COVID. Or syphilis.
April 7, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Unless it's measles. Or COVID. Or syphilis.
Unless their demands are met
The Chainsmokers will release a remix of “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan tomorrow.
April 23, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Unless their demands are met
Immigrants can’t vote unless they have become American citizens.
February 2, 2026 at 9:03 PM
Immigrants can’t vote unless they have become American citizens.
Reparations just aren’t feasible unless you’re a felon...
May 22, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Reparations just aren’t feasible unless you’re a felon...
She fearmongers about migrants… unless it’s her own husband.
March 21, 2025 at 11:31 PM
She fearmongers about migrants… unless it’s her own husband.
Nobody works this hard for this long to cover up something this bad unless they are guilty.
December 20, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Nobody works this hard for this long to cover up something this bad unless they are guilty.
states rights unless its parents rights unless the parents are wrong in which case its states rights unless the state is wrong in which case its federal rights unless the feds are democrats in which case its parents rights unless the parents are wrong in which case
December 4, 2024 at 7:30 PM
states rights unless its parents rights unless the parents are wrong in which case its states rights unless the state is wrong in which case its federal rights unless the feds are democrats in which case its parents rights unless the parents are wrong in which case
Lying is bad unless you do it via AI. False advertising is bad unless you do it via AI. Plagiarism is bad unless you do it via AI. Losing billions of dollars for no good reason is bad unless you do it via AI. Robbing cities of water is bad unless you do it via AI.
You’re just embracing the future.
You’re just embracing the future.
May 26, 2026 at 9:43 AM
Lying is bad unless you do it via AI. False advertising is bad unless you do it via AI. Plagiarism is bad unless you do it via AI. Losing billions of dollars for no good reason is bad unless you do it via AI. Robbing cities of water is bad unless you do it via AI.
You’re just embracing the future.
You’re just embracing the future.
*unless in Minnesota
Hegseth: "If you kill Americans, if you threaten Americans anywhere on earth, we will hunt you down without apology and without hesitate and we will kill you"
March 2, 2026 at 1:27 PM
*unless in Minnesota
"power holds no value unless it is exercised"
I wrote about Minnesota and ICE and how average Americans are reclaiming the power that the administration is abusing.
www.pbump.net/o/this-is-wh...
www.pbump.net/o/this-is-wh...
February 4, 2026 at 4:06 AM
"power holds no value unless it is exercised"
January 9, 2026 at 3:54 AM
you just don't get it. transplants are bad, unless they are immigrants in which case they are good, unless they work for tech in which case they are bad, unless their work involves content creation in which case they are good, unless the content creation involves AI in which case they are bad
September 22, 2026 at 9:35 PM
you just don't get it. transplants are bad, unless they are immigrants in which case they are good, unless they work for tech in which case they are bad, unless their work involves content creation in which case they are good, unless the content creation involves AI in which case they are bad
Unless McConnell comes out and publicly rebukes this on camera, I'm going to assume it's true.
July 8, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Unless McConnell comes out and publicly rebukes this on camera, I'm going to assume it's true.
Pritzker: "National Guard troops, any kind of troops, on the streets of American city don't belong unless there is an insurrection, unless there is truly an emergency. There is not."
August 31, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Pritzker: "National Guard troops, any kind of troops, on the streets of American city don't belong unless there is an insurrection, unless there is truly an emergency. There is not."
Fox News insists racism doesn't exist, unless a Black actor plays a white character
July 24, 2026 at 6:13 PM
Fox News insists racism doesn't exist, unless a Black actor plays a white character
“No one man can terrorize a whole nation, unless we are all his accomplices.” -Edward R. Murrow
October 6, 2025 at 5:01 PM
“No one man can terrorize a whole nation, unless we are all his accomplices.” -Edward R. Murrow
Not interested in anything melania has to say about epstein unless it's under oath.
April 9, 2026 at 6:49 PM
Not interested in anything melania has to say about epstein unless it's under oath.
“China will never respect you unless you look pretty.” -Pete Kegsbreath
April 24, 2025 at 9:17 PM
“China will never respect you unless you look pretty.” -Pete Kegsbreath
Look i don’t give a shit unless he’s dead
May 23, 2026 at 10:37 PM
Look i don’t give a shit unless he’s dead
Unless Your Allergic To Good
Governance.......
Governance.......
June 22, 2026 at 9:59 PM
Unless Your Allergic To Good
Governance.......
Governance.......
Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built
theonion.com/congress-thr...
theonion.com/congress-thr...
December 11, 2024 at 9:26 PM
Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built
theonion.com/congress-thr...
theonion.com/congress-thr...
* I can't kick your ass unless I come closer.
July 21, 2026 at 7:51 PM
* I can't kick your ass unless I come closer.
