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heidylouisa.bsky.social
#snapped #prayforme #discipleship #GodKeepMyHeadAboveWater
#nervousbreakdown #medicaltrauma #disability #chronicillness #nursinghomelife #walkbyfaith #breakingpoint #spinabifida #neurogenicbladder #ostomate #faithinChrist #joyoftheLord #disabledChristian #authenticdiscipleship
Joy is the inner confidence that God can be trusted, regardless of what you see, feel or face. I usually say that my disability is a piece of cake compared to my chronic illness but right now they both suck and I’ve snapped. I’ve been trying to get an accurate bill for months (possibly longer), holding onto what I legitimately believed I owed since March waiting to talk to yet another new business manager. Then Medicaid decided to be difficult about me getting on GLP1s because I’m not diabetic, but Adipex made me go blind. So I’ve been trying to do what I can. I can’t buy actual weight loss medications obviously so instead I bought ridiculously expensive supplements with money I don’t have and even though I feel slightly better physically since taking them, the scale is making me feel worse. Nothing I’ve bought is helping me feel better and now I have blisters that turned into scabs on my left leg and I still have the catheter because I can’t figure out who my new case manager is so I can’t ask them to override the “closest provider” rule. Although THANK GOD I see him on the 4th. And yes, I made other purchases that I’d been sitting on for like a year because I would like to feel like I have some sense of autonomy but it keeps getting stripped away from me and now I’m broke. Oh and one of those packages got misrouted to the facility I moved out of ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO. Please keep me in your prayers. I have no idea how I’m gonna make it, but God does and that’s enough.
July 23, 2026 at 10:23 PM
heidylouisa.bsky.social
#medicaltrauma #ostomy #prayforme #relationshipwithGod #discipleship #ChronicallyIllChristian #worshipisalifestyle #GodKeepMyHeadAboveWater #faithinChrist #trustintheLord #uncomfortablegrace #authenticChristianity #Hosanna #prayerrequest #disabledChristian #urostomy #bladdersurgery #stoma #agape
I spoke with my female urologist in Columbus today. She’s very sweet but it would appear that the plan has slightly changed. Again. She says there IS a non surgical way to make my stoma continent (YAY) and she’s going to bring it up to my other doctor at OSU. She said there is a chance that the stoma reversal won’t work and I’ll still have a stoma for the rest of my natural life (basically confirming what my PTSD has already been saying) but I told her if I don’t at least try to get rid of it, the “what if” of not trying would haunt me forever. She once again asked me if I’d be at all willing to consider the solution she proposed last year and I said NO. But now that there’s a way to make my stoma continent… if the reversal doesn’t work, that’s probably my next best option. Although it sounds like something that will have to be repeated to keep the stoma continent, and either way, it sounds like once I start cathing again, being able to sleep through the night without getting up to cath will no longer be an option…. And I get VERY cranky when I’m sleep deprived. This whole thing is both very promising and VERY scary. Not knowing how this is gonna work out in the end terrifies me. Jesus is all I have to hold on to that I’ll be okay in the end. Thank you for your continued prayers. I love you all so much.
February 11, 2026 at 11:55 PM