#theBorowitzReport
LightNews LightNews
ngage.bsky.social
Thanks, Andi #theborowitzreport (& @jimcook.bsky.social 😁🤓)👇
August 18, 2026 at 3:09 PM
mjkb16.bsky.social
Today I actually had to verify that #theborowitzreport was satire. That’s how insane this administration is.
April 16, 2026 at 12:36 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Kash Patel Rushed to Hospital After Suffering Trauma of Flying Coach
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/kash-patel-rushed-to-hospital-after?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#uspol #parody #theborowitzreport #KashPatel #petehegseth #airsickbabyforthewin
Kash Patel Rushed to Hospital After Suffering Trauma of Flying Coach
The FBI director was in a state of acute distress on the Spirit Airlines flight.
www.borowitzreport.com
February 23, 2026 at 3:22 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
NATO Sprays Antipsychotic Medication in Airspace Over White House

https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/nato-sprays-antipsychotic-medication?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#uspol #parody #tbr #theborowitzreport
NATO Sprays Antipsychotic Medication in Airspace Over White House
Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Stoere said, “We saw his letter to me as a cry for help.”
www.borowitzreport.com
January 19, 2026 at 8:07 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
It’s unfair that Trump gets to sleep through his presidency and the rest of us have to be awake for it -- Andy Borowitz
https://substack.com/@borowitzreport/note/c-175182324?r=badto
#uspol #sleepydonnie #thenodfather #theborowitzreport #andyborowitz #humor
Andy Borowitz (@borowitzreport)
It’s unfair that Trump gets to sleep through his presidency and the rest of us have to be awake for it
substack.com
November 9, 2025 at 3:48 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Stating, “I can see where this is going,” on Wednesday Donald J. Trump fled to Argentina, vowing never to return.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-flees-to-argentina?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#uspol #theborowitzreport #parody #Trump #argentina #flycoachloser
Trump Flees to Argentina
"I can see where this is going," he said.
www.borowitzreport.com
November 6, 2025 at 12:22 AM
tigersclaw1.bsky.social
#TheBorowitzReport

It would be funny if Governor Newsom won.

I’m great with Greta Thunberg winning.

It would be 👩🏽‍🍳💋 if they gave it to Barack Obama just to piss off #🖕🚼💩🔬🍄🤡 djt
emmaidama.bsky.social Maida ☠️ @emmaidama.bsky.social · Oct 9
😂🤣 Newsom’s trolling is now at a whole new level 😂🏅
#NobelPeacePrize #Pinks 🌸
October 9, 2025 at 11:35 PM
cmerfy.bsky.social
📢😂🎯‼️

Thanks, Andy!!! 🤣

#OV1 #satire #AndyBorowitz #TheBorowitzReport

open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
DC Mayor Says Best Way for Trump to Empty Streets is by Throwing Another Birthday Parade
“Get a bunch of those squeaky old tanks rolling down the streets and you won’t see anyone for miles," Mayor Bowser said.
open.substack.com
August 11, 2025 at 10:48 PM
sheilakeywriter.bsky.social
Not so funny today.
#TheBorowitzReport
#FourthOfJuly2025

substack.com/app-link/pos...
A New Declaration of Independence from Tyranny
Effective July 4, 2025
substack.com
July 4, 2025 at 3:12 PM
drkyre.bsky.social
Thank you. I also used another tool to unfollow all the accounts that did not follow me, then added back in some public accounts like theborowitzreport and marcelias.
June 27, 2025 at 12:11 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Failure On Parade

Trump's birthday crowd did an amazing job of social distancing
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/failure-on-parade?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#parody #tbr #theborowitzreport #uspol #dictatorparade #sleepydon
Failure on Parade
Trump threw himself a $45 million birthday party and nobody came.
www.borowitzreport.com
June 15, 2025 at 8:29 PM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is not the news, but it could be.

Who knew Elon Musk was a dirty, stinking, drug-den living scab-encrusted, black-eye wearing, drug addict?

#TheBorowitzReport @borowitzreport.bsky.social
#DruggedMusk #DrugAddledMusk #EcstasyElon
Trump Puts Musk in Charge of Absorbing All Drugs Coming into US
“I can’t wait for Elon to go wild on drugs," Trump said.
open.substack.com
June 3, 2025 at 11:55 AM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Man Who Fell Asleep at Pope’s Funeral was Already Going to Hell, Says God
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/man-who-fell-asleep-at-popes-funeral?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#theborowitzreport #tbr #parody #Trump #popefrancis #sleepydon
Man Who Fell Asleep at Pope’s Funeral was Already Going to Hell, Says God
Although snoozing during the pontiff’s funeral was “beyond rude,” the Almighty said that the man clinched his place in the netherworld “decades ago.”
www.borowitzreport.com
April 28, 2025 at 2:16 AM
sethinak.bsky.social
Who is listening? #satire ##theborowitzreport #houthis #hegseth #signal
April 22, 2025 at 11:16 PM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is NOT the news...but it could be

#TheBorowitzReport @borowitzreport.bsky.social #PoliticalSatire #HouthisClamBake
Houthis Send Friend Request to Hegseth’s Wife
The rebels said that they want to “stay in the loop."
open.substack.com
April 22, 2025 at 11:53 AM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is NOT the news, but it could be.

Eric Trump is one dumb fuck, but it isn't his fault. The rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

#TheBorowitzReport @borowitzreport.bsky.social
#PoliticalSatire
Trump Claims Tariffs Were Eric’s Dumb Idea
"He was begging me like a dog, so I said yes.”
open.substack.com
April 11, 2025 at 12:21 PM
sethinak.bsky.social
#theborowitzreport #satire #good #one #lol #elon #musk #Wisconsin #election #SethinaSpeak
April 2, 2025 at 4:10 PM
cmerfy.bsky.social
It's a satirical column by Andy Borowitz. He's written @TheBorowitzReport for ages & is very funny.
March 31, 2025 at 1:09 AM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is NOT the news, but it could be.

#TheBorowitzReport #PoliticalSatire @borowitzreport.bsky.social
Greenland Rejects Trump’s Offer to Trade JD Vance for Rare Earth Minerals
The island responded with a strongly worded rebuke.
open.substack.com
March 27, 2025 at 11:34 AM
ahangingthread.bsky.social
I cannot imagine being @theonion.com or @theborowitzreport
I mean, seriously nothing that you guys can come up with in satire is even close to being as horrifying as what is actually happening. Satire is dead.
Satire is reality..
Bring on the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
March 24, 2025 at 10:36 PM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is NOT the news...but it might be.

#TheBorowitzReport #PoliticalSatire #CyberDeathMobile
Elon Musk Trapped Inside Self-locking Cybertruck
The South African businessman frantically screamed to no avail.
open.substack.com
March 24, 2025 at 1:14 PM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is NOT the news.

The Trump tariffs are hurting some more than others.

#PeteTheDrunk #TariffsCrashEconomy #TheBorowitzReport
Trump's 200% Tariff on European Alcohol Causes Pete Hegseth to Angrily Resign
The departing Defense Secretary called the tariffs "an act of war."
open.substack.com
March 14, 2025 at 12:15 PM