We cannot help our feelings. Judging or criticising ourselves just creates more stress.
A powerful phrase we can use to validate ourselves is "that is understandable".
Acknowledgement enables the feelings to process and move on.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#feelings
A powerful phrase we can use to validate ourselves is "that is understandable".
Acknowledgement enables the feelings to process and move on.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#feelings
May 23, 2025 at 1:32 PM
We cannot help our feelings. Judging or criticising ourselves just creates more stress.
A powerful phrase we can use to validate ourselves is "that is understandable".
Acknowledgement enables the feelings to process and move on.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#feelings
A powerful phrase we can use to validate ourselves is "that is understandable".
Acknowledgement enables the feelings to process and move on.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#feelings
Trusting ourselves enhances our ability to regulate after dysregulation, reduces anxiety, and enables us to know we are capable in the face of uncertainty.
Consciously noticing, acknowledging, and returning to the body gets us there.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#windowoftolerance
#selftrust
Consciously noticing, acknowledging, and returning to the body gets us there.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#windowoftolerance
#selftrust
April 13, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Trusting ourselves enhances our ability to regulate after dysregulation, reduces anxiety, and enables us to know we are capable in the face of uncertainty.
Consciously noticing, acknowledging, and returning to the body gets us there.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#windowoftolerance
#selftrust
Consciously noticing, acknowledging, and returning to the body gets us there.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#windowoftolerance
#selftrust
Are you choosing the...
Comfortable untruth
Or
Uncomfortable truth?
When we speak up/tell our truth, we prioritise authenticity over fear
It's not easy. It takes conscious effort. But the alternative is to avoid, repress, and betray ourselves.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#trueself
Comfortable untruth
Or
Uncomfortable truth?
When we speak up/tell our truth, we prioritise authenticity over fear
It's not easy. It takes conscious effort. But the alternative is to avoid, repress, and betray ourselves.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#trueself
March 24, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Are you choosing the...
Comfortable untruth
Or
Uncomfortable truth?
When we speak up/tell our truth, we prioritise authenticity over fear
It's not easy. It takes conscious effort. But the alternative is to avoid, repress, and betray ourselves.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#trueself
Comfortable untruth
Or
Uncomfortable truth?
When we speak up/tell our truth, we prioritise authenticity over fear
It's not easy. It takes conscious effort. But the alternative is to avoid, repress, and betray ourselves.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#trueself
Nervous System regulation is essentially a reconnection - to the body, to this moment.
It's simple, but.. this is important - it takes conscious repetition.
The more we regulate/reconnect, the safer we feel; allowing problem solving, connection, calm and compassion.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
It's simple, but.. this is important - it takes conscious repetition.
The more we regulate/reconnect, the safer we feel; allowing problem solving, connection, calm and compassion.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
January 6, 2026 at 3:19 PM
Nervous System regulation is essentially a reconnection - to the body, to this moment.
It's simple, but.. this is important - it takes conscious repetition.
The more we regulate/reconnect, the safer we feel; allowing problem solving, connection, calm and compassion.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
It's simple, but.. this is important - it takes conscious repetition.
The more we regulate/reconnect, the safer we feel; allowing problem solving, connection, calm and compassion.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
Micro pause & check-in...
Taking time to check in boosts self trust and allows us to improve self awareness.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#powerofthepause
Taking time to check in boosts self trust and allows us to improve self awareness.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#powerofthepause
August 5, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Micro pause & check-in...
Taking time to check in boosts self trust and allows us to improve self awareness.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#powerofthepause
Taking time to check in boosts self trust and allows us to improve self awareness.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#powerofthepause
No matter how difficult and painful it may be, nothing sounds as good to the soul as the truth. - Martha Beck
It takes courage, but authenticity is essential to our sense of peace.
@themarthabeck
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#trueself
#authenticity
It takes courage, but authenticity is essential to our sense of peace.
@themarthabeck
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#trueself
#authenticity
January 26, 2026 at 6:59 PM
No matter how difficult and painful it may be, nothing sounds as good to the soul as the truth. - Martha Beck
It takes courage, but authenticity is essential to our sense of peace.
@themarthabeck
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#trueself
#authenticity
It takes courage, but authenticity is essential to our sense of peace.
@themarthabeck
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#trueself
#authenticity
Our authenticity is repeatedly prioritising our peace over any expectations or pretence of connection.
Meeting perceived, unwanted obligations or any betrayal of self for the sake of 'dishonest harmony' is not authenticity.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#expectations
#trueself
#honesty
Meeting perceived, unwanted obligations or any betrayal of self for the sake of 'dishonest harmony' is not authenticity.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#expectations
#trueself
#honesty
May 14, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Our authenticity is repeatedly prioritising our peace over any expectations or pretence of connection.
Meeting perceived, unwanted obligations or any betrayal of self for the sake of 'dishonest harmony' is not authenticity.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#expectations
#trueself
#honesty
Meeting perceived, unwanted obligations or any betrayal of self for the sake of 'dishonest harmony' is not authenticity.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#expectations
#trueself
#honesty
Faking it, masking, pushing self can lead to burnout.
These are all coping mechanisms we build in response to perceptions of obligations that amount to a chronic betrayal of self.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#masking
#habits
#awareness
#shoulds
#obligation
#selfbetraying
These are all coping mechanisms we build in response to perceptions of obligations that amount to a chronic betrayal of self.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#masking
#habits
#awareness
#shoulds
#obligation
#selfbetraying
May 28, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Faking it, masking, pushing self can lead to burnout.
These are all coping mechanisms we build in response to perceptions of obligations that amount to a chronic betrayal of self.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#masking
#habits
#awareness
#shoulds
#obligation
#selfbetraying
These are all coping mechanisms we build in response to perceptions of obligations that amount to a chronic betrayal of self.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#masking
#habits
#awareness
#shoulds
#obligation
#selfbetraying
What is your stress trying to tell you?
If you don't know...
How can you make sure you pause, regulate yourself (be aware of your body and breath), and work through your feelings to find out?
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#pausetoponder
#stress
#selfawareness
#processing
If you don't know...
How can you make sure you pause, regulate yourself (be aware of your body and breath), and work through your feelings to find out?
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#pausetoponder
#stress
#selfawareness
#processing
May 15, 2025 at 4:12 PM
What is your stress trying to tell you?
If you don't know...
How can you make sure you pause, regulate yourself (be aware of your body and breath), and work through your feelings to find out?
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#pausetoponder
#stress
#selfawareness
#processing
If you don't know...
How can you make sure you pause, regulate yourself (be aware of your body and breath), and work through your feelings to find out?
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#pausetoponder
#stress
#selfawareness
#processing
"I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself." - Rita Mae Brown
Reflection question - Is 'dishonest harmony', where we betray our true self for the sake of others' comfort, really worth it?
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#pausetoponder
#connection
#dishonestharmony
Reflection question - Is 'dishonest harmony', where we betray our true self for the sake of others' comfort, really worth it?
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#pausetoponder
#connection
#dishonestharmony
April 10, 2025 at 6:47 PM
"I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself." - Rita Mae Brown
Reflection question - Is 'dishonest harmony', where we betray our true self for the sake of others' comfort, really worth it?
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#pausetoponder
#connection
#dishonestharmony
Reflection question - Is 'dishonest harmony', where we betray our true self for the sake of others' comfort, really worth it?
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#pausetoponder
#connection
#dishonestharmony
It may be the right choice but that does not guarantee it will be easy.
All changes, chosen or not, will likely come as a package with uncertainty, grief and effort.
Tenacity comes from knowing it will be worth it.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#transitions
#tenacity
#decisions
All changes, chosen or not, will likely come as a package with uncertainty, grief and effort.
Tenacity comes from knowing it will be worth it.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#transitions
#tenacity
#decisions
September 3, 2025 at 3:38 PM
It may be the right choice but that does not guarantee it will be easy.
All changes, chosen or not, will likely come as a package with uncertainty, grief and effort.
Tenacity comes from knowing it will be worth it.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#transitions
#tenacity
#decisions
All changes, chosen or not, will likely come as a package with uncertainty, grief and effort.
Tenacity comes from knowing it will be worth it.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#transitions
#tenacity
#decisions
Why Leaders and Executives need a coach..
Having a coach is like having a plug-in objective, learning focused creative brain.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#executivecoaching
#leadershipdevelopment
#strategies
#guideontheside
#findyourtruth
Having a coach is like having a plug-in objective, learning focused creative brain.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#executivecoaching
#leadershipdevelopment
#strategies
#guideontheside
#findyourtruth
April 23, 2025 at 11:21 AM
Why Leaders and Executives need a coach..
Having a coach is like having a plug-in objective, learning focused creative brain.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#executivecoaching
#leadershipdevelopment
#strategies
#guideontheside
#findyourtruth
Having a coach is like having a plug-in objective, learning focused creative brain.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#executivecoaching
#leadershipdevelopment
#strategies
#guideontheside
#findyourtruth
It starts with courage. Courage to notice our feelings, to be truthfully self-aware, to speak up, to set boundaries, to stop bowing to expectation, to risk others' discomfort, to be fully responsible for self.
Those who are becoming authentic are WARRIORS 👏
#coaching
#trueself
#authenticity
Those who are becoming authentic are WARRIORS 👏
#coaching
#trueself
#authenticity
April 16, 2025 at 7:37 PM
It starts with courage. Courage to notice our feelings, to be truthfully self-aware, to speak up, to set boundaries, to stop bowing to expectation, to risk others' discomfort, to be fully responsible for self.
Those who are becoming authentic are WARRIORS 👏
#coaching
#trueself
#authenticity
Those who are becoming authentic are WARRIORS 👏
#coaching
#trueself
#authenticity
"When you start to walk on the way, the way appears." - Rumi
We don't need to know it all, we just need to focus on the next step. The aim is progression, not perfection.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#smallsteps
#reducingoverwhelm
#progression
We don't need to know it all, we just need to focus on the next step. The aim is progression, not perfection.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#smallsteps
#reducingoverwhelm
#progression
March 4, 2025 at 6:31 PM
"When you start to walk on the way, the way appears." - Rumi
We don't need to know it all, we just need to focus on the next step. The aim is progression, not perfection.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#smallsteps
#reducingoverwhelm
#progression
We don't need to know it all, we just need to focus on the next step. The aim is progression, not perfection.
#Effectivethoughts
#coaching
#smallsteps
#reducingoverwhelm
#progression
What might you need to accept at the moment, to reduce resistance around what you cannot control?
It's important to note that acknowledging the feelings is an essential part of radical acceptance.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#radicalacceptance
#realmsofcontrol
#stressrelief
#regulation
It's important to note that acknowledging the feelings is an essential part of radical acceptance.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#radicalacceptance
#realmsofcontrol
#stressrelief
#regulation
August 14, 2025 at 12:49 PM
What might you need to accept at the moment, to reduce resistance around what you cannot control?
It's important to note that acknowledging the feelings is an essential part of radical acceptance.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#radicalacceptance
#realmsofcontrol
#stressrelief
#regulation
It's important to note that acknowledging the feelings is an essential part of radical acceptance.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#radicalacceptance
#realmsofcontrol
#stressrelief
#regulation
What happened to us is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to heal.
To feel and to notice the pain.
We may need help and guidance. We will definitely need self compassion.
#effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#healing
#limitingbeliefs
#selfcriticism
#recovery
#personalresponsibility
To feel and to notice the pain.
We may need help and guidance. We will definitely need self compassion.
#effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#healing
#limitingbeliefs
#selfcriticism
#recovery
#personalresponsibility
February 24, 2025 at 12:26 PM
What happened to us is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to heal.
To feel and to notice the pain.
We may need help and guidance. We will definitely need self compassion.
#effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#healing
#limitingbeliefs
#selfcriticism
#recovery
#personalresponsibility
To feel and to notice the pain.
We may need help and guidance. We will definitely need self compassion.
#effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#healing
#limitingbeliefs
#selfcriticism
#recovery
#personalresponsibility
Online group coaching clinic for people recovering from a relationship with a narcissistic loved one.
19th May, 6.30pm-8.00pm. UK time. Email effectivethoughts@gmail.com to book.
As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard on safety.
#coaching
#toxicrelationship
19th May, 6.30pm-8.00pm. UK time. Email effectivethoughts@gmail.com to book.
As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard on safety.
#coaching
#toxicrelationship
April 15, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Online group coaching clinic for people recovering from a relationship with a narcissistic loved one.
19th May, 6.30pm-8.00pm. UK time. Email effectivethoughts@gmail.com to book.
As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard on safety.
#coaching
#toxicrelationship
19th May, 6.30pm-8.00pm. UK time. Email effectivethoughts@gmail.com to book.
As a highly experienced Group and Trauma Coach, I will be working hard on safety.
#coaching
#toxicrelationship
HOW DO YOU REGULATE YOURSELF?
Regularly bringing attention to the body in this moment reduces the cumulative impact of dysregulation.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#stressrelief
#regulation
#mindfulness
#Somatic
Regularly bringing attention to the body in this moment reduces the cumulative impact of dysregulation.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#stressrelief
#regulation
#mindfulness
#Somatic
September 12, 2025 at 3:17 PM
HOW DO YOU REGULATE YOURSELF?
Regularly bringing attention to the body in this moment reduces the cumulative impact of dysregulation.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#stressrelief
#regulation
#mindfulness
#Somatic
Regularly bringing attention to the body in this moment reduces the cumulative impact of dysregulation.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#stressrelief
#regulation
#mindfulness
#Somatic
Some people will put their reputation before reparation.
They would rather be seen as right than address the harm they cause.
Radical acceptance of the truth will help us to start to heal.
Simple, but not easy.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#toxicrelationships
#recovery
They would rather be seen as right than address the harm they cause.
Radical acceptance of the truth will help us to start to heal.
Simple, but not easy.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#toxicrelationships
#recovery
March 15, 2025 at 10:43 AM
Some people will put their reputation before reparation.
They would rather be seen as right than address the harm they cause.
Radical acceptance of the truth will help us to start to heal.
Simple, but not easy.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#toxicrelationships
#recovery
They would rather be seen as right than address the harm they cause.
Radical acceptance of the truth will help us to start to heal.
Simple, but not easy.
#Effectivethoughts
#Coaching
#toxicrelationships
#recovery
1 way to guarantee a dysregulated nervous system is to consistently ignore your own needs.
How can your body feel safe and trust that it is being cared for when it is ignored?
Simple really. Not always easy though.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#safety
#selfcompassion
#personalresponsibility
How can your body feel safe and trust that it is being cared for when it is ignored?
Simple really. Not always easy though.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#safety
#selfcompassion
#personalresponsibility
February 15, 2025 at 4:39 PM
1 way to guarantee a dysregulated nervous system is to consistently ignore your own needs.
How can your body feel safe and trust that it is being cared for when it is ignored?
Simple really. Not always easy though.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#safety
#selfcompassion
#personalresponsibility
How can your body feel safe and trust that it is being cared for when it is ignored?
Simple really. Not always easy though.
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#safety
#selfcompassion
#personalresponsibility
I am so grateful to have such articulate reviewers, explaining the benefits of Somatic EMDR coaching better than I ever could! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#somatic
#emdr
#5stargooglereview
#outcomes
#healing
#trauma
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#somatic
#emdr
#5stargooglereview
#outcomes
#healing
#trauma
January 27, 2025 at 6:59 PM
I am so grateful to have such articulate reviewers, explaining the benefits of Somatic EMDR coaching better than I ever could! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#somatic
#emdr
#5stargooglereview
#outcomes
#healing
#trauma
#effectivethoughts
#coaching
#somatic
#emdr
#5stargooglereview
#outcomes
#healing
#trauma